Final Voyage

Gloria (Erika Eleniak) is a rich man's daughter and, therefore, requires a bodyguard. Since she is just a tad ornery, the security men come and go. Aaron (Dylan Walsh), who used to guard an aging Hollywood leading lady (Barbara Eden), has just been hired by Gloria's father to watch over his gorgeous, young offspring. Things do not get off to a good start when Gloria takes Aaron on a private plane ride and they narrowly miss crashing the aircraft. But, more excitement is around the corner. Gloria insists on taking a cruise on a refurbished old ship, The Queen Mary, where all of the beautiful people will be. Aaron, who "hates to travel", is unhappy about the trip yet, he must go along. On the vessel, also, is the wealthy businessman who provided the funds to spruce up the ship, as well as a hotshot football player and a lovely television journalist, who has a past with Aaron. But, wait, that's not the whole guest list! A terrorist thug named Josef (Ice T), his tough-as-nails girlfriend, Max (Claudia Christian) and his gang are on board, too, to steal the jewels and artwork that some of the passengers put in the ship's safe, since they couldn't sail off without their Van Goghs! Josef has a plan and a large arsenal of weapons. Will he succeed in carrying out his pilfering, without damaging the ship, of course? This is just a terrible film that sinks and stinks, from the first moment to the last. That is not to say the nice cast, including the good-looking Walsh, the lovely Eleniak, and the sullen Ice-T don't try to breathe life into the thing....they do try. But, not enough. The script is one abysmal cliché after another and the direction and editing are horrible, too. All right, the costumes are fine, are you happy? Especially so is the hot little blue number Eleniak wears through most of the second half. Therefore, if you are a fan of any of the cast members, you are certainly within your rights to rent this film. Why not show the movie at a gathering of couples, where everyone can laugh, jeer, and throw things at the screen? It would certainly make for an "alternative" party experience.

Two of the best actors in the business, Stephen Macht and Ice T, are put throught their paces in this sorry excuse for an action film. Its ludicrous scenes galore and at times pretty absurd acting which destroy this one. Its a pity Macht's excellent performance in 'Stephen King's Graveyard Shift' didn't materialise into better offers. If you like cheap, pathetic films, buy this one. If not, then stay away.

This movie made little sense. The acting sucked and the story needed a overhaul. The few things I did like about this film where wasted. First the cast. Claudia Christian's a babe and her character was pretty good as kick ass hitwoman. Erika Eleniak also a babe but she's done this gig before(in "Under Siege" and is 1000 times better than this). Next the production. It pi**es me off to see dumb movies wasting good FX and vehicles. I don't know how but they had a C-130 cargo plane to parachute from, during the day(Gees sutle). A night drop would have been much more stealthy. Hey, if you watch closely during the drop, one of the parachutist looses his diving mask. I won't go into tactical FUBARs in the theives operation(which there are many). I never saw theives dress in matching uniform either. Damn that ship sure came apart after the first explosion. Too many explosion for no reason. And the ballroom explosion was footage from "Deep Rising". Bottomline: with some work this could have been a good movie instead of stinker.

FINAL VOYAGE is a hilarious DIE HARD-on-a-ship type film that comes to us courtesy of Z-grade movie specialist Jim Wynorski. This one throws a mixed cast into a story that happily copies the likes of UNDER SIEGE et al with the only difference that this is a B-movie through and through; expect trite dialogue and wooden acting throughout. Plus any large-budget scene is typically stock footage stolen from an older and better movie.

The film's unorthodox hero is Dylan Walsh, playing a bodyguard caught up in a hostage situation. Walsh is best known for playing geeky scientist types in the likes of CONGO so his heroic turn here is a little odd. He's given support by Ice-T, playing himself as always, as the chief bad guy, and Claudia Christian as a memorably hot femme fatale. Erika Eleniak plays EXACTLY the same role as she did in UNDER SIEGE except without the nudity. Stephen Macht is the ship's captain and the hulking Michael Bailey Smith one of the henchmen.

It says something about Wynorski's talents as a director that I can call this one of his better films despite it being low par throughout. At least the pacing is fast and the action scenes are fun if laughable, so you can sit back and enjoy the cheese. It also helps that I have a high tolerance for DIE HARD rip-offs so it doesn't take much to entertain me. There's no denying that FINAL VOYAGE is a cheap and cheesy film though.

HMS Britannic was sunk during world war 2 so how this film is set on it is beyond me. However, the plot, acting etc. belong at the bottom of the sea. The bad guys are very BAD. Ice T is pathetic. It looks like it was filmed in a power station somewhere. Avoid. Unless you like unintentionally bad movies.