Maniac Nurses

This movie was really bad. Not Michael Jackson Bad, but heading down a river to a water fall with no way to escape bad.

I've had the displeasure of watching this movie twice. Once because my friends and I were looking for terrible movies and the second because I got caught in a second group I showed it two and they wanted to watch the whole thing.

I give it a 2 simply because its so spectacularly bad, and there is one scene, that was so amazingly bad, that we still talk about over 5 years after discovering this movie.

Its a movie to bad to even have a party and attempt to pick it apart with jokes with a group of friends.

I do recommend watching it if you are looking for the worst movies, especially if its a contest as you'll likely win.

In this bizarre horror film,Ilsa and Sabrina are a mother/daughter team of lesbian nurses with sadomasochistic tendencies who,with their compatriot Greta,enjoy luring unsuspecting strangers back to their remote clinic and subjecting them to various homegrown tortures.Somewhere down the line,Sabrina falls victim to a cadre of feminist terrorists who have decided that she is to be part of their plan for world domination."Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy" is a truly abysmal exploitation film which was released in America by exploitation film masters Troma Team Pictures.It has also appeared under the title "Bloodsucking Freaks II",though it has no connection to Joel M.Reed's memorably sleazy 1977 cult abomination.The film itself is boring and there is very little nudity.The acting is amateurish and the storyline is completely absurd.The funniest thing is that "Maniac Nurses" is apparently a Hungarian porno film that's been edited into one of the most delirious stinkers you'll ever see.The hardcore sex scenes were cut out and Troma or somebody else decided to dub it.Some women are absolutely gorgeous and there is a gory moment where a guy's feet is sliced off his body when he runs into a trip wire type booby-trap,but you'll suffer watching this mess.2 out of 10.

The full title is Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy. Interestingly enough, Ecstasy was in Vermont, not far from Montpelier.

Here's the formula to duplicate this movie: shoot some cheap videotape footage of women in white lingerie. You don't even need to shoot sound footage. In fact, it's more flexible without sound. Just make sure there are plenty of shots of the women from behind, so you can dub in some voices later without having to worry about lip-synching. This gives you the additional advantage of having the movie in any language for later distribution. Why just imagine your masterpiece in Catalan or Frisian, or even in Latin for its run in Vatican City. Include a little bit of nudity and gore, although this will have to be cut when the pope watches.

"Hey, now that I have the footage of them doing various things in my backyard, how does that become a movie?"

Easy, make up a story. Any story. Just watch an old episode of Alfred Hitchcock on Nick at Night, and copy down a plot summary. Now have one of your friends with a deep voice read your summary aloud, and tape him. Add this here and there throughout your footage as a voice-over narration. It worked for Blade Runner, and it can work for you.

"Hey, I did that and it's only 44 minutes long."

No problema, amigo. Here's how to lengthen it. Watch a travelogue on TV and tape it. Let's say it's about Venice. Choose about 10 minutes of good stuff, insert it in your footage somewhere near the end, and have one of the characters say something to another, something like "you wonder how it all began? Your mother and I met in Venice, where I was working as a gondolier." Have him or her recite some background activities, some interesting facts about Venice, or just some generic thoughts like "those were the good times, I tell you. Yessireebob". If you have a friend who can say it with an Italian accent, all the better. Or for that matter, any accent will do. People who watch movies like "Maniac Nurses" can't tell the difference between a Chinese accent and Estonian.

"Hey, no travelogues on tonight. Just some shark specials on Discovery."

No problem, my friend. Just change the monologue to "your mother and I met off the great barrier reef, where I was hunting the Great White with Captain Cousteau's crew." Pretty much any real-life footage will work.

"OK, done, now I still need another 15 minutes?"

Easily fixed. This is where you add some fine art which will make your film much admired at Cannes. Does your script take place over four days? That's three sunsets and three or four sunrises which not only add to the beauty of your masterpiece, but provide an all-important time marker for your film, and do so much more subtly than ripping the top page off one of those desk calendars. Do your characters live in a house? Surely there is a beautiful old home near you which will make for some good exteriors. Your narrator simply needs to say something like, "meanwhile, in Stately Wayne Manor, ... ".

Finally, perhaps one of your characters is reading some magazine. Right after the footage of the character, show some of the articles he or she was reading. If you show some warning signs of cancer or something, you'll not only add educational value but also provide redeeming social importance, which is so critical to those obscenity trials. And this has an added plus. Later in the film you can add the exact same footage back in as a flashback, while your character tries to remember that third warning sign. Use the same footage again and again to add to the fun, as you provide valuable insight into your character's psychological development, or deterioration, as the case may be.

Now the only thing left to do is to dust off the mantlepiece, and make a little extra room for your Palm D'Or.

The full title for this film is Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy and yes do they ever. This film actually started out as a porn flick back in 1990 and now we have only other pantomimed versions available. Although not as graphic as other reviewers have mentioned but none the less quite gory. Not a bad film overall but I would reccommend to watch Bloodsucking Freaks instead. Oh did I forgot to mention that this is the sequel to Bloodsucking Freaks. Check it out.

I've been known to enjoy awful films, but even I have my limits: Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy (released by Lloyd Kaufman's Troma studio, home of many a z-grade crap-fest), is a heavily cut, re-edited and dubbed Belgian porno flick that is so atrocious that even copious amounts of nudity from a bevy of beautiful, lingerie-clad women and the occasional bit of bargain-basement gore cannot stop it from ranking as one of the worst films I have seen.

Once they had finished hacking the XXX action from their original acquisition, the guys at Troma obviously realised that the collection of disparate scenes they were left with didn't make an awful lot of sense. Rather than cutting their losses and binning the mess, they improvised, adding a narration track that appears to have been conceived on the fly (the story about a private clinic run by sadistic women is utter garbage), and using some stock footage to pad out the running time.

When I watch a film featuring exploding heads, severed feet, a man impaled on a gnome, a self-flagellating monk ridden like a horse by a hot brunette, machine gun-toting babes in suspenders, a baby born with an Elvis tattoo (!), and a scorching blonde sadist who likes violent comic books (that look like like they've been drawn by a ten-year-old) AND I'm still struggling to stay awake, then I know I've discovered a genuine stinker.