Fearless Tiger

Fearless Tiger was a complete surprise to me - a previously unheralded bad movie with scenes so jaw-droppingly bad it had me rewinding several scenes just to immediately enjoy them all over again. There's almost no let up here to the amount of joy Jalal Merhi fires at the audience.

A bad guy who looks like someone inflated Robert Plant and then burst him with a fork is taking a new drug called Nirvana to the streets of America (via Hong Kong). Jalal's brother gets hooked and overdoses on the stuff, causing Jalal to go to Hong Kong and get trained up to kick everyone's head in. Sounds simple? It is. But:

Jalal's girlfriend in the film is much, much taller than him, and cannot act to boot. Therefore, every time she appeared on the screen I was in fits of laughter. Just watched her roll her eyes in a "Oh, that Jalal" way. She's bad, but nothing can prepare you for the police chief. His initial scene, where he struts about like a chicken and sputters out his lines, is so bad I swear you'll be rewinding it over and over again. Brilliant!

Add to this the crazy action scenes (I nearly burst a gut at the gang battle near the start, where a bad guy is too busy gloating at his enemies to notice the car he then plows into with his motorbike), the toilet set round the neck move, or the death of one of the villains, who has both his feet poking out the sunroof of a car at the time. You've also got the fight in the back of a garbage truck, a bad guy with the tightest white guy afro ever, and the training scenes with Bolo, which has Bolo, Jalal, and some chick apparently involved in some sort of crazy dance off (or so it appears to the viewer anyway).

Instant classic! See it now!

This is reportedly Bolo's first film as a good guy after over 100 outings as the baddest dude of the bad dudes. But don't waste your time here. Besides the movie's overall suckitude (suckiness? Suckiosity?), Bolo's only in two brief scenes, doing very little in a scant few minutes. Don't be fooled by the billing. A bunch of the anonymous henchmen get more screen time than Bolo did.

.......But oh so much fun! Yes indeed, step right up folks for here we have a real stinker; Witness in disbelief a lead actor (who happens to be none other than Joseph Merhi's brother!) who can barely speak the English language(!), some pretty lousy fight sequences throughout (especially surprising considering that the legendary kicking maestro Jean Frennette is on board here!), Bolo Yeung dancing...badly(!), and some of the very worst acting performances this side of an average children's nativity play! Yes indeed, this is a truly amateurish mess if ever I've seen one; But you know what? Such gross incompetence in every area only serves to make this all the more endearing; Truly, this took some staggering ineptitude to make by all those concerned. Yay, I hereby do award this travesty my highest recommendation for fellow bad movie lovers.

Haha it would appear I am the only one that liked this movie, but then again I have always been a sucker for cheap martial arts action movies. One thing I will say with Jalal Merhi type movies, is when watching you really have to get your mind in that state. If your expecting a good martial arts movie like Van damme, or Jackie chan you will for surely be disappointed. However for a cheap low budget movie (with bad acting) I didn't mind it. Jalal might have bad acting, but his martial arts skills (atleast to me) are worth watching for. Point is, I have seen worse and I have seen a lot better. But black pearls was on TV a few weeks ago and I actually enjoyed the movie. The other 2 friends of mine that watched it with me hated it :P But I have yet to find a bad Jalal Merhi movie other then G.O.D or whatever that crap was called. I liked Tiger Claws 1 2 and 3 and I loved Operation Golden Pheonix.

The film is without doubt a totally bad martial arts film wannabe. It fails miserably in its attempt. The "star", Jalil Merhi would probably be stoned to death in his native middle east if they ever show this junk there.

The plot is simple, Merhi's brother dies of drugs and he wants revenge. He tells his wealthy businessman father and his fiancee that he can't take over the family business or go through with the wedding because he wants to train in the far east. Talk about ridiculous, the bride to be is 6 foot 2 inch, Supermodel Monika Schnarre. She stands at least a solid foot and a half taller than Merhi. His father is played by Jaime Farr, Corporal Klinger from M*A*S*H. I guess those residual checks are no longer coming in. The acting is without doubt totally lousy. Collectively amateurish beyond belief, even from Jaime Farr who's antics as Max Klinger keeps me tuning in to reruns of M*A*S*H. But the worst is Merhi, his acting makes Jean Claude Van Dahm look like Sir Lawrence Olivier by comparison. The direction, the lighting, the cinematography are all laughably bad. It is as if the director was incapable of taking his camera off a tripod. Any kung fu film and blaxploitation film afficionado who sees this will probably wanna pluck their eyes out.