The Chosen One: Legend of the Raven

I really can't believe this one. This made me want to shove my head in the nearest toilet and drown myself. I didn't, because then I knew I would die in the same place this movie belongs! When I saw this was a Troma picture, I should have stopped the tape right there. But, alas, I pressed on, and lost 100 minutes of my life that could have been used to do something better, and anything would have been better, trust me.

The one or two people who have read any of my previous reviews would know that I usually take a moment to describe a plot at this time, but "The Chosen One" has a plot which is beyond description. Actually, I think the film-makers made things up as they went along. Nothing made sense! Of course, that went well with the worst actors and actresses you'll ever see! What disturbs me most is that someone actually got paid to make this mess. The producers probably flew over the cuckoo's nest, because this bird-brained "Raven" should be locked in an atrium forever. Zanatos's score: 1/10...but I would rate it lower if I could. Ugh.

I can't say that I liked this movie, I didn't even understand it! It was the worst movie I've ever seen. Besides the obvious lack of thought in casting (the sister, supposedly a Native American, is a blond-haired, blue-eyed chick), severe lack of acting ability, and the schroom-induced thing that was supposed to be a plot, the thing still didn't muster enough camp to be even funny. Oh, can't finish without mentioning the costumes, what was that about? It looked like they raided a closet full of '80's clothes that people in the '80's wouldn't even wear. Even if you are IN LOVE with Carmen, it won't make you like this.

Oh what a waste of tape. The movie was supremely wretched, yet not bad in a way that is funny. The only redeeming feature for pieces of dreck such as this is that usually they feature lots of hard, naked bodies. But no such luck here. You'll get almost as much skin watching an episode of "Days of Our Lives," plus the soap offers much better writing, acting and direction. Unless you really enjoy watching a fully-clothed Carmen Electra being chased through the woods by redneck drunks, skip this thing.

This film was lame. I didn't visit IMDB for reviews, I just rented it to see Carmen and Shauna. They are both very lovely ladies but they could not save this film by themselves. The acting was worse than what I saw in a high school play. The plot didn't seem to have any guidance. The only thing this has going for it is the gorgeous ladies. There was some feeble attempt to make this seem like a movie about a Native American legend. Sorry folks, it doesn't wash. Carmen Electra does not appear to be even slightly Native American. The goofy, dumb redneck types are slightly believable, and in a sad way almost humorous. I am sure there are better ways to spend your time than to watch this one unless you are absolutely smitten by Carmen or Shauna Sand or Debra Xavier. I rate this as 1/10

First, I just want to say that Carmen Electra is very beautiful (in or out of costume), but her acting talents are wasted in this long and boring Troma flick. Did she really give up TV's Baywatch for this crap? There's really no action until the last ten minutes of the film, but by then you may have bailed out. If you're interested, there's at least five sex scenes -- three of them with Ms. Electra. If you really want to see Carmen Electra naked, check out some web sites or buy a pin-up poster. Enough said. My evaluation: (no stars).