Desert Heat

Wow, this movie is almost like a Road House for the late 90's. In other words, this is a good, no, GRRRREAT bad movie. Van Damme effectively plays another dumb guy / bad ass/ good guy. JCVD arrives in a small desert community populated almost entirely by abrasive creeps. Abrasive is putting it mildly, these guys snort crank/coke and verbally abuse old folks/hot waitresses around the clock. Of course Van Damme must help out the old folks and hot waitresses, probably because he's on some spiritual journey, or maybe he just wants to get laid, or maybe because he was planning suicide anyway. Whatever, the case may be, 2 old indians (one a motorcycle, the other an actual human being) help him get it done. The mullet adorned red necks and bikers which he awkwardly incapacitates are worth the price of admission alone. For my money this belongs amongst the best of Van Damme's entertainingly stupid body of work. Don't miss it!

Hey, if you want art go to a museum. This thing is entertaining. Slow start but it makes up for that. Funny in understated ways. Vivid characters that weren't all made with cookie cutters. If the dialog had been witless the life would have drained out of this movie as easily as the bad guys die. But I'll wager the writer (Tom O'Rourke II) was awake and had some fun. I was too and I did too. Hats off to him.

We (viewers) made Hollywood (filmmakers) to have a steady source of diversionary schlock. This one delivers.

P.S. Should get an award for egregious miscasting: Vincent Schiavelli as a Sikh?

I chanced upon this screen gem on USA as part of their Jean-Claude Van Damme summer movie marathon. Kind of a bizarre mix of "Mad Max", where a loner takes on thugs on motorcycles who are terrorizing the citizens of some out-of-the-way "town" ("town" as in five buildings and a law-abiding population of 12); "A Fistfull of Dollars"/"Yojimbo"/"Last Man Standing", where a loner pits two rival criminal organizations against each other; and gay porn (two sweaty men in their underwear massaging each other's feet!).

All of the supporting characters are campy caricatures and the interaction is comical. Gee, Rhonda's world famous apple pie was so good that JC took only one bite and left the rest... and apparently no one in the desert bats an eye at murder, or drinks water for that matter.

The action was OK for a DTV flick, but don't rent it if that's what you're looking for. Its real appeal is the campiness. "Desert Heat" is a good pick if you want something mindless and off-the-wall to kill a couple of hours.

Anyway, you shouldn't compare this movie to either of the above. Although I haven't seen Yojimbo (pronounced Yo-Jimbo by one of the characters), but I'm sure it won't be fair to all of them.

This movie is an action movie, with Van Damme as the good guy, but it's not very serious. Sure, there are explosions and guns and kicks and a completely unnecessary sex scene and all that, but it seems like there are quite a lot comic relief moments and characters. Pat Morita and Bill Erwin reminded me of Statler and Waldorf from The Muppets, for one.

Van Damme plays an American, which meant that he talked very little and tried to talk in a raspy voice to disguise his accent. And you know what? It worked. The only thing that I couldn't let go is because I expected to hear his unique accent.

This movie is 95 minutes well spent. Don't go out of your way looking for it, but you don't have to avoid it either.

It's no secret Van Damme has lost much of what clout he once held at the box office when he's now reserved to doing leads in straight-to-video action flicks. I guess the hindsight is you could say that about any of the other big action stars. It's been awhile since Arnold really pulled in the audiences and even longer for the likes of Stallone, Norris and even good 'ol Steven Seagal.

So it wasn't the biggest surprise when Van Damme's latest 'Desert Heat' went straight to video. The strangest thing is it's leaps and bounds ahead of Universal Soldier 2 that got a theatrical release and Van Damme is actually pretty good when he's relaxed and having fun. With a few familiar faces in the supporting cast helping out.

This one finds Van Damme as a man at his emotional end. He believes he's got nothing to live for anymore and when we met up with him he's ready to commit suicide and end his life. What happens shortly after that is pretty basic, but fuels the rest of the story. A bunch of dirty people try to wax him and leave him for dead and he swears to make them pay in blood. So not entirely original. With more gunplay than there is martial arts - you have to decide if that's a good or bad thing for a Van Damme flick. It's a case of opinion and/or taste more than anything else. The atmosphere is light and everyone seems to be having fun. Which is great. This story couldn't have survived a single viewing if it took itself seriously.

I'm not recommending this outright, but I'm not saying stay away either. Love or hate Van Damme, this is a half-decent addition to his mixed slate of movies and if nothing else this movie contains one of the most unique sex scenes I've seen in an action movie in a really, really long while. It's both erotic and vaguely comical at the same time if you can believe that. You'll have to see the movie to know what I mean, but this all goes back to an earlier point. It never takes itself seriously and that's what keeps things enjoyable rather than being a pain to watch in the end.