Beretta's Island

It's the worst movie I've ever seen. The action is so unclear, work of cameras is so poor, actors are so affected ... and this lamentable 5 minutes of Arnie on the screen. My advice from the bottom of my heart - don't watch it unless you like such a low class torture.

I like when certain low budget independent motion pictures are trying harder to make a point. "Beretta's Island" certainly is one of them. Franco Columbu (Mr. World, Mr. Universe and Mr. Olympia) produced this movie and stars as an interpol agent - code name Beretta - who is forced out of retirement to avenge the cold-blooded murder of a cop. The killer's trail leads to Franco's hometown on the beautiful island of Sardinia, west of the Italian coast line. Rarely used locations adding an amazing flavor to the action and increases the value of the story and cinematography. I heard that in some circles in the USA and around the world this is considered a cult movie.

Truth be told, then I wasn't expecting a whole lot from this 1993 action movie titled "Beretta's Island". And the only reason why I did pick it up, actually, was because the movie had Arnold Schwarzenegger on the cast list.

Writers Franco Columbu and Donna Jeffries didn't exactly impress with the storyline concocted for this 1993 action movie. Sure, it wasn't among the worst of movies I have suffered through, but it was by no means a noteworthy cinematic experience.

The acting performances in the movie were fair enough, though somewhat rigid from some of the performers, namely the leading actor Franco Columbu. Needless to say that I was disappointed with the small time on the screen that Arnold Schwarzenegger had in the movie, but I can't say that I was surprised.

"Beretta's Island" left absolutely zero impression on me, and the movie will fade into the mists of oblivion just as quietly as it came in under the radar. In fact, I didn't even know about the movie's existence before stumbling upon it by random chance here in 2022.

My rating of director Michael Preece's "Beretta's Island" lands on a three out of ten stars.

An Interpol agent in Los Angeles (Franco Columbu) comes out of retirement to help rid his hometown of violent drug dealers in Sardinia.

"Baretta's Island" (1993) is a low-budget crime thriller set mostly on an island off the western coast of Italy starring Franco Columbu. He was Schwarzeneggar's best friend and sometimes showed up in his movies in bit parts, such as the Pictish scout near the beginning of "Conan the Barbarian" (1982). Arnold has a cameo here in the dreadfully boring opening weight-lifting sequence. Franco was short at 5'5", but he's likable as the protagonist, although he's a lousy actor.

One of the main reasons to see this flick, aside from the nice island locations, is Elizabeth Kaitan as Linda. She was beautiful and winsome during her 'B' movie career from approximately 1983-1997; and notable in films like "Necromancer" (1988) and "Nightwish" (1989). In this one, she usually appears in baggy jean shorts or tight jeans, although she has a decent sequence in a yellow bikini and, at the very end, a tame top nude scene while swimming with the protagonist.

The movie runs about 1 hour, 30 minutes, and was shot mainly in Ollolai, Nuoro, Sardinia, Italy (Franco's hometown), as well as other areas of Sardinia, not to mention Las Vegas, Nevada, and Los Angeles.

GRADE: D+

Very funny to watch "Beretta's Island" as kind of natural trash-film.It is like answer to Jess Franko's type of b-movie.Bodybuilders strikes back (!face to face!) to pushers.The very very very stupid strike!Action: unbelievably bad directed firing(shooting) scenes look even better than hand-to-hand fighting.Chasing scenes ridiculous.Saving beauties scenes incredibly stupid.Erotic scenes are very unerotic.The main luck of film is pretty landscapes and festival scenes.Don't miss:Arnold Schwarzenegger's joke at start of film and list of Franco Columbu's kin at the end. Special attraction: naked bosom.Almoust forgot - Franco can sing!