Horror Safari

This won't be easy.

But I have to slag a film starring Goddess Gemser, but I've got little choice.

This ripped off war movies, jungle flicks, and the Cannibal sub-genre, an in every case, poorly. Cliché' characters, crap acting, predictable scenes, and in many cases, unfinished.

I'll pay it one compliment. Gemser is, and always will be beautiful. This got 3 stars out of me just for having her in it. Without her, I probably wouldn't have even bothered.

Despite having talent like Whitman and Strode, the acting was absolute crap. These guys, along with Purdom and Sakata (Oddjob), were obviously picking up a quick paycheck.

Miss it.

While going through my DVDs I stumbled across a copy of "INVADERS OF THE LOST GOLD". Scratching my head, I couldn't remember anything of it, other than simply going by the two out of ten star rating I previously gave it. I started watching and it came flooding back. They weren't great memories either. After the opening slaughter by jungle natives of some Japanese soldiers (with laughable dubbing/accents) escorting gold during WWII, you can't help but be drawn in. Thinking that you might be onto something fun with this jungle adventure exploitation. Come on, we get decapitated heads on spears and Japanese soldiers slicing off limbs in their escape. Alas, all that comes to a thud, once it heads to present day.

There begins the expedition, as wealthy businessmen set-up their team for the Philippines to find the hidden gold. Sadly even with the stalwart likes of Stuart Whitman, Woody Strode, Harold "Oddjob" Sakata and Laura Gemser along for the journey; you're left with a cheap, uninspired and boring jungle trek. Leaving you dazed and confused, despite a little blood and nudity along the way. The dangers of the jungle (e.g. crocodiles, snakes, rope bridges, booby traps and greedy men) come to fruition, but those bloodthirsty natives from the opening sequence are M.I.A. Talk about being a party pooper.

However the real talking point is the unknown death of a character suddenly panicking and dropping dead while skinning dipping. It's a real head scratcher. This could be contributed to its terrible editing, which really does show in numerous hacked-up sequences. Like the out-of-nowhere fight between Strode and Sakata. After one calls the other a killer, repeatedly, they continue their trek then suddenly the next scene shows the two scuffling to only laugh it off like something out of a gag reel. Although one of them does get the last laugh. I couldn't help but be disappointed by "INVADERS OF THE LOST GOLD", after liking the director's previous film; "KILLER'S MOON" (1978).

While there is no actual flesh eating, the slaughter at the beginning resembles the Italian jungle horror films of the previous five years ('Cannibal Holocaust', 'Make them Die Slowly' etc..). We get decapitations, heads on spears, and a spike pit. Cut to some years later and all the movie offers from that point on is a tacky adventure tale. Sure there is a hari kari scene and Laura Gemser's full frontal nude dip in a pond, but everything else is garbage. The end arrives abruptly, yet without any shocking twist.

I'd like to add that the one dollar copy of this video I found is titled 'Invaders of the Lost Gold', written in a 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' script.

There's a reason why "Horror Safari" isn't as known or infamous as most of its contemporary Italian jungle adventure-movies like, say, "Cut and Run" or "Massacre at Dinosaur Valley". Despite the cheerful title and a promising sounding plot description on the back of the DVD-cover, it's a tremendously dire and stupid movie. We have a bunch of very unlikable characters searching for a shipment of gold that was left behind in the Phillipines jungle (among a cannibalistic tribe) near the end of WWII. The expedition is put together by a rich bastard and assembles the most incompetent adventurers you've ever seen. The "leader" is an American drunk who's heroic years are long over, one of the original Japanese army commanders that lost the gold in the first place, a black strongman who's far too friendly to be believable, two women that are completely useless and one mean, double-crossing sleazebag. "Horror Safari" feature the absolute weakest death scenes I've ever seen; hands down. Instead of getting torn apart by the cannibals – that have just vanished suddenly, by the way – the characters just fall off of cliffs or walk straight into the open mouths of plastic crocodiles. One poor girl, the dreadfully miscast Laura Gemser, even spontaneously drops dead during a skinny dip! Honestly, if there's anyone who can give a reasonable explanation for Gemser's character dying, please email it to me! This must be one of the worst films ever made, complete with lousy editing, uninspired use of beautiful locations and bad acting with an even worse dubbing. Even the most hardcore fan of Italian cult cinema shouldn't waste one penny on this piece of crap.

The Philippines, 1945. Japanese troops escorting a gold shipment are ambushed by headhunting natives. Most of the soldiers are killed, but not before they manage to hide the gold in a cave. Three officers survive. Thirty-six years later, Rex Larson (Purdom) is hunting for the lost fortune. He recruits one of the surviving officers and has his financial backer help arrange for an expedition. The lead guide is Mark Forrest (Whitman) who helps arrange for assistance in the Philippines. Once in the wilderness, the group must contend with the elements, treachery, and murder. Billed as a cannibal film at my local video store, it does not qualify as such. It is definitely inspired by the Indiana Jones flicks, but is much more conventional. The film had many of the elements necessary for success including a strong cast. Woody Strode is a welcome presence, but is largely wasted. I came away with the impression that the filmmakers were simply manufacturing a movie for a quick release rather than making a genuine effort to entertain. While it likely wouldn't have become a blockbuster or anything akin to a classic, it could have been far better with only minimal script changes and perhaps a more firm directorial hand. Or not.