The Beach Bunnies

This dreck slipped onto video in the early 1990's disguised as one of the comparatively innocent bikini-themed sex comedies popular at the time (i.e. Bikini Summer, The Bikini Carwash Company), but this is the kind of thoroughly jaded, misogynistic crap that could have only come out of the 70's porno industry. In a typical scene the brain-dead heroine is forcibly raped by two or three men on the beach and, of course, she ends up enjoying it. The numerous (softcore) sex scenes don't get much more appealing than that, but at least they're a welcome respite from the wretched acting and godawful dialog. I normally don't waste my time reviewing movies I hated, but I consider it a public service in case this turd is still floating around out there somewhere.

I'm not saying this is a great film, the high rating is given only by comparison with others of its type and time. This is an uncomplicated American nooky film with a high sex to story ratio and little pretence to anything more profound. In most things I have a natural preference for my own country, however British softcore films of this era tended for some reason to be passed off as comedy. Some featured a notably unlovely proletarian bloke (no names, no pack drill) and were as funny and erotic as a cold bath.

Non of the men in this film could be described as a young Adonis, but they are not ugly or obnoxious, which can rob a (ahem) performance of all credibility. One of the girls they hook up with is gorgeous, one is quite sweet, another two just about ok. Had they all been equally stunning I might even have given it a 9.

There can be a tendency to over analyse, especially pointless if there is hardly anything to analyse. Subsequent to seeing the film I ploughed through a somewhat prolix external review in which it was observed that the decor in playboy Dennis's bedroom "looks exactly like the cheapskate hotel where our heroines are staying, right down to those dreaded and dreadful grey square panels on the wall". How on Earth did I manage to overlook it?