Modern Vampires

Only in America can vampires expect to call for garbage pickup. No messy disposal problems here. As a vampire author, I'd far rather see vampire movies that feature something new, rather than rehashing the old myths - no matter how well it's done. (For a similar new take on vampires, though hardly as funny, be sure to see Dance of the Damned) Actually, though Modern Vampires seems to strive to be intentionally bad, this makes it very funny, very hip though certainly not for everyone.

I loved it for the early humor (The scene with the bitchy salesperson in the dress shop was worth the rental price all by itself), and was sad to see the over the top end did not work quite as well as the first half.

Personally I think this movie is a riot.. =] I first saw it in San Francisco when it was being screened in an artsy movie house as "Revenant".

It isn't remotely meant to be serious.. in fact it is the campiest movie I've seen in quite awhile! I would think that any fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 would enjoy this style of cinema. It has more of a "B" movie vibe, more like "Eight legged freaks", "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", or "Pricilla Queen of the Desert". It has quite a few familiar faces too, and of course Casper's butt is always a welcome site.. ::smirk::

Director Richard Elfman is on the verge of making it big, all he needs is for a studio to give him a ton of money! "Modern Vampires" is a well-made, serious (yet comic) tale of eclectic vampires living it up in Los Angeles. Yes, we have a service provided by "The Count" to Pick-up those tedious left-over drained bodies, blood on tap at your local all-you can eat People served at the local Dance-halls, a real appreciation for cheezy European accents, and just a glimpse of what Jerry Springer's show would be like could vampires actually hang out in public!

Anyone who has a real appreciation for movies such as Trey Parker/Matt Stone's Cannibal: The Musical, or Peter Jackson's Dead Alive and/or Bad Taste, will easily be able to get the point of this movie. (Pun somewhat intended) I strongly recommend this film if you're in the mood for some light-hearted entertainment. I very much look forward to future works by Mr. Elfman!

I thought this movie was truly a work of art. The horror and suspense blend beautifully into the comedy and romance. What a job Elfman did! I loved it, and would definitely recommend it to anyone that asked, or that didn't ask, for that matter! Incredible!

Other than Rod Steiger doing this tongue in cheek imitation of Laurence Olivier's Mitteleuropa accent and having a ball as a modern Dr. Van Helsing, this rather witless comedy might go over with the juvenile trade, but not too many others. It certainly does make vampires out to be such fun creatures.

Natasha Gregson Wagner and Casper Van Dien are a couple of modern vampires who are tired of the rule of that most notorious vampire of them all, Count Dracula as played by Robert Pastorelli. But all of them have to worry that that famous vampire slaughterer Van Helsing who's on the prowl with some new kind of help, a few boys from the hood.

Except when Steiger was on the screen I didn't get too many laughs out of this film though. Maybe it's because my taste in music just doesn't run to rap which blares at intervals during the movie.

There is one other good scene I did like. Kim Catrall pulling a freight train with the Van Helsing helpers and turning them all into vampires. It's the inevitable result of sex with one.

For the juvenile trade strictly.