Beowulf

The future of fantasy never looked so dark! Christopher Lambert gets to fight the evil demon Grendel in this grim looking trashy fantasy-epos. "Epos" I said? Er... there's only one location, so you can't really call it an epic adventure, can you? The location is a medieval/futuristic 5 inch tall castle, so how did they manage to cram in all the actors? Oh, I get it, those where special effects. A miniature. Silly me.

Here's some reasons why you might want or NOT want to watch this motion picture:

• Lambert gets to do his sword-swinging tricks over again like he did in Highlander.

• The sets and costumes are amazingly cool (if you're a 12-year-old).

• Rhona Mitra has a voluptuous pair of knockers which she likes to show off through-out the whole movie.

• ...er, Christopher Lambert has white hair...

• Every time they start fighting, this over-the-top raving techno-soundtrack gets going. So why are these medieval slayer-dudes fighting while they should be dancing.

• They don't have electricity in this castle but they do have speakers installed which seem to work fine. So where's the amplifier? I guess they borrowed it from the techno-dj who delivered the soundtrack.

• Watch it for the climax in the end which features an outrageous demonoïd CGI creature coming straight out of any Playstation 2 survival-horror game.

If all this got you interested, then go watch it (at your own risk), but don't tell anyone I told you to. I strongly suspect Pinhead visiting the set while shooting, because this movie has no soul. Anyway, if you want to see beautiful Rohna Mitra really show some skin, then watch Paul Verhoeven's HOLLOW MAN.

I liked this movie. At some points I was wondering "What's with the music?" and "Is this with the time period?" stuff like that. Kyra, to me, was an over-feminest, big cleaveged woman, wearing pants. Now, I'm not a historian nor do I actually know enough, but I thought women didn't wear pants in the 6th century. If I am wrong, I stand corrected, but that doesn't sound right to me. Beowulf's leather outfit reminded me of a Keanu Reeves wannabe. Grendel's mother is a Pamela Anderson look~a~like who would make a better porn star than a real actor.

Alright, so it may sound like I hate this movie, but I did like it. I never read Beowulf, but plan on doing it, eventually, so my opinion on this movie is based on seeing it alone.

Overall: 6 1/2 out of 10.

In a besieged medieval land this bloody story of the battle of a brave warrior against a great troll assassin named Grendel takes place. Based on the epic poem, whose author is unknown, it has been variously dated to between the 8th and early 11th centuries. Beowulf, is a hero of the Geats, he comes to the aid of Hrothgar, the king of the Danes, whose great hall, Heorot, is plagued by the monster Grendel. It is an epic poem told in historical perspective; a story of epic events and great characters from a heroic past. In contrast to the arrival of Christianity, this is the story of the ultimate hero who confronts a monstrous troll that wreaks havoc on the castle of the king Hrothgar.

A gothic, colorful and spectacular fantasy carried out by traditional effects and an innovative 3D technique. This post-apocalyptic future story is based on the 8th century Saxon epic poem about the knight who battled a monster in a medieval castle. In this story, Beowulf (Christopher Lambert), a boastful great warrior, he is a wanderer who learns about a man-eating creature called Grendel which comes in the night to devour warriors trapped at the Outpost. The Outpost is governed by Hrothgar (Oliver Cotton). He has a daughter (Rhona Mitra), whose husband may have been murdered by the Outpost's master of arms. The latter offers a hefty reward for the death of Grendel so there comes Beowulf , victorious in his own right. The monster, Grendel, is a creature of mythical powers, a being of flesh and blood with i but of shapeless mass, he has furious blood and is driven by revenge. That is until the arrival of Beowulf, a mysterious mercenary who offers help to Hrothgar, the ruler of the kingdom, in hunting down Grendel. But swinging his sword against a large, stinking beast is not such a simple act. The warrior Beowulf must fight and defeat the monster Grendel, who terrorizes the fortress and then Grendel begins to kill out of revenge. ! Evil breeds pain! Survival is ruthless! Face your demons! I will kill your monster! Pride is the curse!. A Fortress At The Edge Of Darkness. An Enemy Within That Only One Man Can Conquer! Unleash your dark side !.

Revenge, loyalty and blood are powerfully intertwined in this spectacular fantastic adventure. Beowulf is a launch pad of dizzying 3D images when the monster appears, dealing with the heroics of man against beasts, set in a besieged land, in which Beowulf must fight against the horrible creature Grendel, a carnivorous being that is killing all living in the kingdom; all of this being set in the eternally adolescent tradition of horror and gothic fantasy comic books. This is a fantastic story of blood, fight and sweat, which removes the mask of the hero-myth, leaving a raw and tangled story. This production begins with a true sense of awe and surprise and develops through continuous battles until a violent denouement. The film contains a lot of action, evocative cinematography, impressive fights and a bit of blood and nudity. Stunning battle scenes illuminate the full-blown adventure with a host of engaging combat action scenes, in which heads and limbs are cut off here and there and everywhere, while other body parts are cut open.

It contains an anticlimatic, and lousy musical score composed by means of synthesizer. As well as a brilliant and picturesque cinematography. The film was mediocrely directed by Graham Baker (Born to Ride , With love from Suffolk, The Final Conflict, Impulse, Beowulf , Alien Nation . Rating: 4.5/10.

Other films about this mythical figure are as follows: ¨Beowulf¨ (2007) by Robert Zemeckis with a well-known casting, such as Ray Winstone, Angelina Jolie, Crispin Glover, John Malkovich, Bernard Gleeson, Charlotte Salt, Sebastian Roché and Anthony Hopkins. ¨Beowuld and Grendel¨ (2005) by Sturla Gunnarsson. Stellan Skarsgård, Gerard Butler Gerard Butler, Sarah polley, Gunnar Eyjólfsson, Ronan Vibert, Rory McCann, Tony Curran. And ¨The 13º warrior¨ (1999) by John McTiernan with Antonio Banderas , Diane Venora , Omar Shariff.

Beowulf was a poem written in England, but is set in Scandinavia , commonly cited as one of the most important works of Anglo-Saxon literature .Beowulf is considered an epic poem in that the main character is a hero who travels great distances to prove his strength at impossible odds against supernatural demons and beasts. It has variously been dated to between the 8th and the early 11th centuries. It is an epic poem told in historical perspective; a story of epic events and of great people of a heroic past. Although its author is unknown, its themes and subject matter are rooted in Germanic heroic poetry, in Anglo-Saxon tradition recited and cultivated by Old English poets . The poem is divided between Beowulf's battles with Grendel and with a dragon . The main protagonist, Beowulf, a hero of the Geats, comes to the aid of Hrothgar, the king of the Danes, whose great hall, Heorot, is plagued by the monster Grendel. Beowulf kills Grendel with his bare hands and Grendel's mother with a sword, which giants once used, that Beowulf found in Grendel's mother's lair .

There are three main films concerning the myth of Beowulf. The best, a wickedly good Robert Zemeckis motion capture version starring Ray Winstone, a lower budget one with Gerard Butler that hovers right around the average mark, and a third one starring Christopher 'Highlander' Lambert, and let me tell you this one defies any classification. It's set in a time that seems like a blend between both past and future, a sword and sorcery realm that's speckled with steam punk technology and very weird production design that looks post modern, yet not. Beowulf, played by the reliably daffy Lambert (an actor of little talent who has grown on me over the years by his craggy presence alone), is a lone warrior with a bleach blond hair dye job and some neato gadgetry in his weapon arsenal. I know, it sounds like I'm making this up. Haven't even gotten to the best part yet, which is the upbeat German techno score that ramps up the Euro feel of the whole thing to soaring heights of absurdity. Despite all that silliness, the film somehow works, and not just as a schlocky write off either. It's resolve lies dutifully in the firmament of its creative aesthetic, and doesn't skip a single odd duck of a beat the whole way. The monster Grendel which Beowulf must face off against resembles something of a cross between the Predator and Killer Croc, a scaly, spiky behemoth that rips through the little villages in the region like a tornado of teeth and claws. It's mother is even weirder: appearing to men in the form of actress Layla Roberts, (who looks suspiciously like a porn star) before morphing into a massive elaborate demon thingy that looks like a final boss from Starfox. Lambert is joined in his fight by sexy warrior Kyra (Rhona Mitra), and led on by King Hrothgar (Oliver Cotton). It's Beowulf like you've never seen before, a Krull esque, beyond the Stars sci-fi rendition that you'll either be in tune with or won't, either love, hate or just be super confused by. It's bonkers, and I love it.

We screened this movie in a club as an example of how classic literature can become twisted into some of the most awful movies of all time. Just the fact that the back of the box proudly proclaimed the plot to be set in the "techno-futile" future should have been enough of a hint. I think that word describes the movie itself, because no matter how much technology they tried to use to save this movie, the effort was completely futile. Not to mention that our club advisor told us that it allegedly couldn't get a distributor for two years.

This cinematic failure is littered with cheesy, cliche dialogue that's worse than angsty teen poetry. Beowulf's character changes halfway through in a way that is in no way credible, and whenever he's in an action scene, he's constantly flipping like a hyper gymnast. There is even, as they say, a "token black guy" whose attempts at humor are completely out of place. And, of course, the daughter of the leader of the outpost Grendel is terrorizing is a total vixen. A vixen whose breasts are exposed throughout the entire movie. A vixen who wants to fight the creature, yet she never puts on armor. And her weapon of choice is a little carving knife. And despite their dire situation, she still dresses up for dinner, in a dress with a see-through skirt that exposes her short-shorts underwear. There are a couple scenes that could pass as soft core pornography, and in the second scene they even reuse footage from the first. I thought the portrayal of Grendel was bad enough, but then came the end of the film, which featured a display of CGI that might be decent for the 80s, but is totally ridiculous for a late 90s venture. I could go on, but you all should watch this film for the fully laughable effect yourselves.

The other club members and I did manage to have fun watching this by taking a cue from MST 3K and mocking it the whole way through. I'm still reeling from an extra's weapon: a perpetually spinning pizza cutter on a pole.