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"Nine Months" is a predictable chick flick, where a very happy, content bachelor knocks up his live-in girlfriend, thereby turning his world upside-down. Lessons learned: men who don't want to marry and have children are portrayed as immature, self-absorbed, selfish, and misguided. Carting lots of screaming kids around in a minivan is, apparently, the most fun a man can have in this lifetime. For women, having children is the ultimate achievement and fulfillment of their lives. This is an insulting fairy tale that women will love, because it shows men who don't want marriage and kids as BAD and men who do want marriage and kids as GOOD. Women are always GOOD no matter what their attitude or actions are.

'Nine Months' is another typical romantic comedy. It has its funny moments. It has its unfunny moments (especially the toilet humour). While, in my opinion, the film could have been a great comedy, some of the humour is just flat and forced into the screenplay. Generally speaking, it's not a bad film.

Chris Columbus's direction isn't exactly bad as he does manage to make 'Nine Months' a feel-good film. Hugh Grant doesn't seem like the ideal choice for the role. I just didn't find him convincing enough, even though he's known for his rom-com movies. Julianne Moore is a delight to watch even though her role is less comedic and challenging. Joan Cusack is hilarious. Tom Arnold is quite annoying but sometimes he's okay. Jeff Goldblum is adequate in a supporting role. Robin Williams's character seems forced.

While things are a little light and slow in the beginning, it's in the last half hour that the writer puts a little too many comedy, most of it falling flat on its 'face'. With a cast like this, one would have expected better. I'd still say it's far more enjoyable than the likes of 'Runaway Bride' and 'Pretty Woman'.

A portion is poorly acted although still funny and heartwarming in many aspects. I always found it odd how it has multiple F bombs for a PG-13 film they kinda broke the rules with that. I enjoy anything with Tom Arnold in it he's awesome and Hugh Grant is decent to top it off even better Chris Columbus is a legendary director! Despite so much negativity Nine Months is great in my opinion!

Samuel Faulkner has it good. He lives a semi-bachelor life but has a steady girlfriend. When she announces she's pregnant he fears the worst and isn't very supportive. Soon she's off but he learns a lesson from his friend Sean and tries to get back with her.

Chris Columbus romantic comedies are never going to be the cutting edge of variety and innovation – but this is just plain old and lame. The story could have been written by a child it is so predicable, with little funny lines – and you know you're in the s**t when it falls back into a 10 minute keystone cops style conclusion. There are two funny scenes – one with Robin Williams and one where a Barney-esque (Arnie) dinosaur gets the live kicked out of it in a toy store. This was made the most interesting bit in the film for me simply because Arnie was played by Charles Martinet – who has done the voice of Super Mario in video games for the past decade or so.

Outside of pop cultures references like these the film relies of coy, sickly sentiment and dumb jokes. Robin Williams' Russian doctor gets a few chuckles but the rest is lame. Grant is not the most versatile actor in the world but here he just plays his floppy haired, blinking fop to death. He even gets to re-do his opening speech from 4 Weddings (but with the language toned down for the American audience). He's annoying from start to finish. Moore deserved so much better and will probably see this as one of her lows on her CV. Arnold is terrible and Cusack is wasted. Jeff Goldblum is the only one is resembles a real person and is good, and Williams is hammy but at least manages to raise a few smiles.

Overall this is terrible. A star looking for a break in America signs up to do a sure-thing (a soapy romantic comedy) with lots of big names around to protect him in his first big US movie. People criticised Grant for being with a whore just after this movie came out – but they missed the fact that, by selling out and buying into clichéd American s**t that panders to the least demanding of audiences, he'd whored himself out just as much as Divine Brown had.

I had heard this flick was pretty bad from the 'real' movie critics, and it even got panned on the Simpsons, so I knew I was in for it when my grandmother saw it starting on TV and proclaimed that she MUST see it. Apparently, she heard that it was a classic. She heard wrong. Now I did not see the entire movie, but about 45 minutes of it. This may make my review invalid in some people's eyes, but trust me, Nine Months could not possibly have saved itself. When you've been watching a comedy for over half an hour and have not laughed once, then it is safe to say that chuckle won't come. The jokes were either childish or outdated, like the running mantis gag (please) or Tom Arnold scolding his kids to stop eating someone else's food while he himself is stuffing his face with crackers (har har). And, I swear, do we really need to see "Let's Get It On" in another movie sex scene? I don't know how many times I've seen this excuse for comedy lately. They even used it in Austin Powers 2, so you'd think other movies would take a hint! To conclude, Hugh Grant is a skinny, pasty Brit with bad teeth and Tom Arnold used to be married to Roseanne. Yeah, two great leading men ladies and gentlemen. And if Hugh's character doesn't want to have kids, I don't blame him. We never see any children in this thing who actually act polite or nice, except from afar. Yeah, that's a mature way to decide you want a baby. Ah, look honey, that baby fifteen feet away is making a sand castle. PLANT YOUR SEED NOW! Never mind the fact that a baby costs MONEY, and it CRIES, no no. Since I did not see the entire thing, let's just leave this review without a score. Does that make everyone happy? Okay, great.