Mr. Stitch

This is without doubt one of the worst films I have ever seen. I saw it at a friend's birthday party where someone had recommended it as being a good film.

Mr Stitch was so boring that I even found the opening credits boring! The rest of the film was no better. The first two thirds of it took place in this enormous white room without walls. The story seemed to drag on an awful lot and took forever to get to the point of the story which it didn't really appear to have much of.

The bizarre looking Frankenstein like creation continued to have memories which were left in the body parts that had come from the people who were dug up in order to build this prototype super soldier for the military. It was difficult trying to find a reason to stay awake, but the person who recommended it kept saying "a good bit was coming up soon". It never did.

I have heard that this film won a Golden Turkey award for the most boring film of all time. An award which is most deserving. The only notable parts of the movie with any entertainment value at all are the observation eyeball and the smoke cloud in the shape of a skull.

Watch it if you suffer from insomnia.

All the science in this science fiction tale is of the ludicrously pseudo sort, but it is stylish, well-acted entertainment. Will Wheaton, Rutger Hauer and Ron Perlman all give the excellent performances that one expects of them. Performances by the rest of the cast are more variable -- with some very good and some a bit over the top hammy. In terms of plot, the first half of the movie is quite original and makes the best of its obviously limited budget. Some parts of the second half are more trite and predictable but still stylishly done and ornamented by Will Wheaton's excellent performance. The special effects are minimal, the production design is a striking exercise in minimalism, and the musical score is quite good without being obtrusive. It is no SF classic, but it is both entertaining and thought provoking.

This movie had potential... an interesting premise... a not too bad first half... then, in the middle, it gets really really bad... screaming out for the MST3K treatment... where did those "funny cars" come from? And the skeleton appearing in the smoke of the car explosion... and the daisies in the foreground of the car chase scene... it almost looks as if someone malicious substituted "crank footage" for the last reel in a deliberate attempt to sabotage the movie.

But ultimately, if you are a Wil Wheaton fan, it's not THAT painful to watch. Well, ok, actually it is kind of painful, but it does have some genuinely interesting moments, and some touching scenes. Enough that you just have to feel bad for Mr. Wheaton... this COULD have been a much better film.

This film is an interesting little experiment: lots of bright white light framing images that linger for the camera, the Frankenstein story updated as an anti-war morality tale. Rutger Hauer chews the scenery a bit as the update of Dr. Frankenstein, and the generic evil general is all cartoon; still, Wil Wheaton as Lazarus, the creation, and Nia Peeples as his sympathetic caretaker/tutor, are worth watching. (Taylor Negron also makes an appearance as a slimy cohort who gets his just reward--his specialty.) Not a big budget affair, but not a complete waste of time, either, if you like quirky sci-fi fantasy.

How they were able to attain funding to produce this..uh..movie, has to be more of a feat than the production itself.

I'm so glad to see Wil Wheaton didn't leave Star Trek: The Next Generation without such promising projects awaiting him.

Wheaton plays an androgenous, Palamino-skinned Frankenstein's Monster with amnesia, who after reading one of several books, the Bible, names himself Lazarus.

With huge vacant lab rooms, filmed using more lens gauze than Penthouse, an eventual laboratory breakout, and a crazy road trip(by the way, when did he take the 'Mad Max' driving course), 'Stitch' can only leave you asking one question? Ron Perlman had plenty of time post-"Beauty and the Beast", but what was Taylor Negron thinking?