Virtual Combat

Why the UK title had to be changed to Grid Runners I'll never know, unless they were trying to cash in on the Jeff Minter Vic 20 game. Anyway, it doesn't matter - the film's terrible. Funny, but terrible.

Don "The Dragon" Wilson World Kickboxing Champion (as he's referred to in the credits) has so little charisma and acting ability that he must surely be the freakish love child of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal, and it's not even as if the filmmakers compensate for that with any particularly dynamic action scenes - the fights are almost as rubbish as the actors. They pick up a bit after the shockingly bad opening scenes in which Don is harassed by men in pink and yellow spandex trousers, but not much.

The central story idea of AI constructs being "copied to living cells" is unoriginal but still interesting, or at least it would have been if the eventual story woven around it made the faintest bit of sense. Everything's either a cliche or happens for absolutely no reason - or both - until the film finally limps to an 'interesting' finale involving some of the worst special effects ever committed to film. Look at that helicopter go! Frame advance that little beauty! Yes please.

So pathetic its not even funny. From the first scene in the movie I knew I was in for a bad time. Thank goodness I only saw this movie on tv. The story line was terrible, not to mention the acting. It was horrid. Very unreal and unusual things happened in this move such as. The lady sticks a whip under the door and whips the guy a little and he just hands over the keys. I'm like, GET REAL. The creators lousy attempt to make a futuristic city even deepened my dislike for the film. To tell you the truth the only good thing in this movie at all was the fighting, which was in itself pretty lame. All I could ask myself when watching this movie was "when is it gonna go off!"

Why is it that virtual "x-rated video game" women can speak through their mouths but virtual fighting game champion Dante has to use a combination of telepathy and over dramatic facial expressions? I feel that either they needed to cast someone who looked more villain-like (Michael Bermardo's big brown doe eyes don't exactly strike fear in the hearts of well.. anyone except for maybe casting directors who consistently cast him as either a villain or a heroic 'bad boy'.) OR they needed to just let him use his real voice (and move his mouth), and maybe give him a costume that would not make him stick out like a sore thumb when walking down the street. (but of course this is the future and we must assume that bad fashion taste is considered the norm.)

Don Wilson stars as a cop who enjoys the occasional virtual reality fighting game, however things go wrong when the people behind the game decide to take virtual reality to a new level by making real people from the video game, okay actually they make the cybersex models as prototype but the main bad guy from the video game awakens and starts killing people and now the only man who can beat the guy is Don Wilson, who in the mean time falls in love with the cybersex model. Actually with all things considered my biggest confusion was trying to understand if the people brought over from virtual reality land, were robots, human, cyborgs or just some type of unidentified computer program. It doesn't matter since this is all just an excuse to watch one of the worst actors ever butcher dialog as if he were running a deli. Don Wilson's complete lack of charisma is the film's biggest flaw since one just doesn't like the guy, he's too goody-goody, his voice is too high pitched and doesn't look very impressive in the action sequences. What saves this bore-fest from my lowest rating is Athenia Massey who looks super hot in high cut outfits and who gets occasionally naked. Also on-board is Loren Avedon (A good martial artist), Stella Stevens and Michael Dorn as the main voice of the bad guy but their efforts are in vain as they are all concealed by the very bad acting of Wilson. Another flaw which is the film's biggest mistake is a lack of action, as we are asked to watch the story unfold but aside from Massey's nudity and maybe some unintentional amusements due to laughably unconvincing acting, there really is nothing of interest. This also extends to the action sequences in which are flatly choreographed, badly directed and completely drained of all possible excitement. Making this virtually unwatchable.

* out of 4-(Bad)

GRID RUNNERS is a straight to video action flick, directed by one-time star Andrew Stevens and starring Don "The Dragon" Wilson in what is a typically wooden role for the actor. Still, there's a whole slew of hard-hitting fight scenes in the movie, which is what it's all about.

The set-up is some quasi-sci fi background in which Wilson plays a cop tracking down a killer who's escaped from a virtual reality game. To add to the sleaze quotient (although it's more silly than sleazy) there are a couple of women from a cybersex game, which allows for the producers to incorporate a little sex and nudity into the narrative.

Your enjoyment of this movie will depend on how much you like seeing buff guys slugging it out for what occasionally seems like hours on end. Bad guy Michael Bernardo looks more like a cover model for a cheap romance novel than a real actor, but there are bit parts for genre staples like Stella Stevens, Turhen Bey, and Loren Avedon.