Expect No Mercy

Only on the VERY rarest occasions do multiple bad movie ingredients magically coalesce into the most rewardingly flavoursome celluloid cheese, and Zale Dalen's entertainingly bizarre B-fight flick 'Expect No Mercy' is arguably one of the most fragrantly overcooked slices of virtual martial arts mayhem you could ever hope to witness! As this conspicuously Canadian, copiously crap-tastic computerised Kung Foolishness remains a vainglorious virtual calamity!

Muscular martial arts maestro, and telegenic Tae Bo tycoon Billy Blanks energetically unleashes one of his more dynamic performances as the powerhouse, frequently shirtless, eminently clueless government agent tasked to infiltrate the tyrannical terrain of wantonly warped warrior guru Warbeck (Wolf Larson), but Warbeck's queasy charm, rock star good looks and princely chin belie his exquisitely evil supervillain mind! On top of the plentiful array of hyperbolic fight scenes, enjoyably rudimentary CGI, hilariously formulaic text, and silky-sexy synth score by Varouje it's Warbeck's manically unfiltered mannerisms that strongly suggest 'Expect No Mercy' will mercilessly become your brand-new bad movie obsession! To reiterate, Wolf Larson's moorishly odoriferous performance as the pixel chewing wrong 'un Warbeck is worth its weight in 24 month-aged Parmigiano-Reggiano!

Although not the best of the Billy Blanks and Jalal Merhi films, this action packed sci-fi thriller sees the two martial artists collaborate once again to smash a virtual reality martial arts school headed by the feminine Wolf Larson and this fellow thugs who use this as a front for an assassin-for-hire type business. I love the shot at the beginning where the muscular Michael Blanks (Billy's real life brother), chases a bodyguard and does a flying kick to lay him flat. One of the thugs, Damien, played by Anthony De Longis really annoyed me, maybe it's not his fault but he quotes "What a lovely singing voice you must have" to a pinned down victim in an office, which we all know was quoted by Bill Murray in the 1984 smash hit sci-fi comedy "GHOSTBUSTERS". I really like Billy Blanks as he is as tough as action heroes come but sweet, not portrayed as a bas boy with an attitude like Steven Seagal. I also dig Jalal Merhi who is really cool. If you are a fan of Mr. Tae-Bo and the Fearless Tiger don't miss it. Plenty of good fight scenes including Billy killing his own brother (not really though), and a good relationship that is tough and comic between the two leading men.

I know some of the people who worked on this film, and I still can't stand it. Most of the fight scenes were wooden and boring - your basic B-movie fare, the dialogue bites and was there a plot here? I'm sure someone thought so, but I didn't.

I watched it once to be polite to my friends, but I felt like my foot was caught in a bear trap and I would have to gnaw my own leg off to escape. Never again.

The worst movie I've ever seen. Unbelievably bad on every account. I didn't used to think it was the worst, yet when I started ranking the worst movies I'd ever seen, it took the top and nothing could unseat it. The video game tie-in was no better.

I seems like Billy Blanks and Jalal Merhi are really fond of each other, since they have been in several movies together. Both "Talons of the Eagle" and "TC 2000" were quite good, and so is this one. It's a rather simple, action-packed flick where the action is totally at the center of attention. Action lovers get their dose of everything that's good, both martial arts and gun/explosion-scenes are abundant. Both are really good, and Blanks again does a rather great job in everything he does (except the acting itself, who I don't care about at all). Simple things are often the best. Today's movie makers should take a look at this for a good example of how an action movie should be.