- Miss Anna Mongomery: Oh, that's right. What I call football, you call soccer. So, this is a soccer ball.
- Lou Gates, Sue Gates: We don't play soccer.
- Nick Anderssen: Yeah, it's for foreigners.
- Miss Anna Mongomery: Well, I'm a foreigner.
- Lou Gates, Sue Gates: Well, we're American.
- Larry Musgrove: I got a question.
- Sheriff Tom Palmer: That's great! Great, participation! Fire away, big guy!
- Larry Musgrove: While you're here, who's giving out speeding tickets and scooping dead animals off the highway?
- Sheriff Tom Palmer: All right, no more questions.
- Miss Anna Mongomery: I think Juan would want you to do well in school and in soccer.
- Kate Douglas: He wouldn't want me to do well. He'd want me to win.
- Kate Douglas: You didn't even say goodbye.
- Juan Morales: Don't be mad. I wanted to.
- Kate Douglas: Well, next time you leave, say goodbye.
- Juan Morales: Next time I leave, I'll just take you with me.
- Coach Jay Huffer: [Jay makes the announcement through his bullhorn]
- Coach Jay Huffer: They got little kids and girls on the team.
- Coach Jay Huffer: Say, you know we have a little tradition down here among the coaches. Before the final game, we always make a little wager.
- Miss Anna Mongomery: Really? What are we betting?
- Coach Jay Huffer: Well now, I couldn't take your money from you, but, you know I'm divorced. I wouldn't say no to a kiss.
- Miss Anna Mongomery: Deal.
- Miss Anna Mongomery: But if you lose, you have to kiss our mascot, Ernie. He's that lovely little green goat over there.
- [Jay looks at Ernie, who is eating garbage out of a trash can]
- Miss Anna Mongomery: He's divorced too.
- Coach Jay Huffer: Deal.
- [Jay walks away in disgust]
- Coach Jay Huffer: We better not lose.
- Edwin V. Douglas: C'mon Kate!
- [Kate looks up and is excited to see her dad finally showed up to one of her games]
- Edwin V. Douglas: Lets Go Kate! C'mon! Lets Go Big Green!
- [Larry conquers his fears of the other teams and has joined in the nightmare, dressed in pirate/ninja garb]
- Larry Musgrove: Come and get me.
- Miss Anna Mongomery: I believe that you're all special because you live here in America, and America is a place where you can be anything you want to be.
- Evan Schiff: I think that was before Reaganomics, ma'am.
- Miss Anna Mongomery: What do you have to do to believe in yourselves?
- Tak Yamato: What?
- Miss Anna Mongomery: We believe in them, don't we, Sheriff Tom?
- Sheriff Tom Palmer: Hm?
- Miss Anna Mongomery: Tell the kids we believe in them.
- Sheriff Tom Palmer: Oh, yeah, yeah. Course we do.
- Kate Douglas: Even if we do decide to go to Austin, how we gonna get there? Walk?
- Kate Douglas: That's how you know they're not coming back. People only say 'Goodbye' when they plan on saying 'Hello' again. It's a rule.