The Paper Boy

Sigh...memories of long summer days in which my sister and I did little more than watch the USA network. While doing so we tripped over this pathetic little blunder of a movie, and have since peppered our conversations with comments such as "God hates stupid children!" and "Hey Peaches, want some ribs?"

Characters are as follows: Johnny McFarley, the homicidal paperboy, Melissa, the completely oblivious object of his desire, and Cammie, Melissa's brainless little girl. There is also the witchy old woman from down the street, who spends about half of her scenes cackling, "He's eeeeevil!" in reference to Johnny.

In short, the movie is dumb. It's contrived. No one I've talked to has ever seen it, which is a pity because it's so humorously bad.

First, from the looks of things this movie was an actual theater release which is a bit surprising. It looks and feels like a made for television movie, when I first saw it on USA network I thought it was a movie they made. Second, why is it listed as a horror movie? It is not very horrific at all. It is a rather mild thriller about a crazy paper boy who becomes really attached to this mother and daughter, so much so that he does everything in his power to make them like him. If anyone tries to warn the mother, then he deals with them. Here is a movie where you just want to beat the snot out of the stalker character; it drives you crazy at what he gets away with. It also makes me glad I don't have a person that likes me that much. Sure some days I wish a gal would form some sort of crush on me, but then you see some of the possible results of such an unhealthy obsession. All in all though this movie is not good, and it is not bad. It is just a mediocre thriller worth a look see if you see it on the television.

So this is suppose to be a horror movie. I laughed at it. It is corny, stupid, unrealistic, ridiculous, but yet I still love this movie. Johnny is entertaining. It's mere attempt to scare you is why this is funny. Anyway, I have not seen it in years, probably a good 15 years or so. But I want to watch it again, maybe I will try and find it on ebay or amazon. It is a good flick though. Johnny is an obsessed, psychotic little kid. He has a thing for a teacher who is about 3 or 4 times his age. He is not afraid to kill. He is annoying. It will make you laugh at times and you might hate me for recommending the movie after you watch it, cause it is cheesy, but I like it for some unknown reason.

I watched the movie just today and I thought it was more hilarious than it was scary or a thriller. I don't know anyone who's actually found that movie scary, so obviously it isn't. I think I was probably in an energetic movie since I laughed the whole time. Just at the way Johny reacted to things.

The cool thing about this movie about how Johny (Marc Marut) is very devilish and too obsessed, but most good movies aren't realistic at all. Hes a young kid around the age of 12-15 who has an obsession for a woman and his obsession goes a little too far causing people to die since they get in the way. I suspected that kid to be evil since he has some sort of innocent, yet a smart-a** side to him and its really disturbing. Many people will say it was a tasteless, corny and pretty lame movie, but the young actor couldn't have played his part better. He was really convincing!

I'm not going to give a summary/ending or the whole point of the movie since thats a surprise for everyone else and I'm no good at it. I think the young actor plays a purfect part in it.

At least that's what this movie seemed like to me. Now, don't get me wrong, the flick was passable, but it lacked the bone-chilling punch expected from a thriller or horror film. It felt more like a whimsical nod to the evil child genre, akin to a playful riff on evil child thrillers such as "The Good Son, "The Bad Seed" and "Children of the Corn."The evil kid in this movie appeared as though plucked from a '50s sitcom and unceremoniously dropped into the '90s. He even sported some those vibes associated with classic sitcom characters like Eddie Haskell of Leave it go Beaver, greeting the adult protagonist, portrayed by Alexandra Paul (Stephanie Holden from Baywatch), with a touch of the phony, "Hi, Mrs. Cleaver" charm early on. Then he shows her his true psycho self, but even that comes across as more cheesy than menacing. The filmmakers were clearly aiming for this sort of vibe. All in all I would give it 5/10.