North

NOTE: Some of you may be offended by the language in this review. If you are, DO NOT see the movie. All the language here is taken directly from the movie.

Roger Ebert "hated, hated, hated" this movie, and while I wouldn't go as far as to say that, this certainly ranks as the worst (by far) Elijah Wood movie on record. The quality of such an actor as Wood or Bruce Willis can't overcome the fact that "North" has absolutely no idea what kind of movie it wants to be.

At first glance, "North" seems to be a kids movie. The plot, in which the title character searches for the ideal parents, is a child's dream. The main characters (except Willis' "guardian angel" role) are either kids or stupid. The message is a simple one about what constitutes a true family, and only a child would be unable to determine the exact outcome within the first thirty minutes of the film. "North" feels like a live-action Saturday morning cartoon.

But do kids movies have sex jokes? Do kids movies talk about men having blood in their stool or boys balls sticking to their legs in hot weather? Do kids movies have children utter words like "asshole"? Do kids movies have the main character apparently get shot in the head? It's one thing to have elements that will appeal to adults, but those elements shouldn't force parents to cover their kids' ears.

North is a bad movie. Parents (and everyone else) be warned.

Grade D- (a few good jokes and the always lovable Wood, but this is a movie that never should have been made)

When "North" came out, it got a scathing review in Portland's newspaper The Oregonian (I found this out several years later, as I didn't know about the movie's release at the time), and Siskel & Ebert named it the worst movie of 1994 (I knew about this at the time). Even the previous reviewer on IMDb.com called it the worst movie ever.

When I saw it a few months after Siskel & Ebert named it the worst flick of 1994, I couldn't understand why people blasted it so. Granted, it wasn't a masterpiece by any stretch - we expect really good movies from a director like Rob Reiner - but it was interesting if absolutely nothing else. Featuring the title character (Elijah Wood) getting a divorce from his parents and traveling the world looking for new ones, I guess that it was little more than a way to pass time. Perhaps "North" had little more to show for itself than a giant cast: Bruce Willis, Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Dan Aykroyd, Graham Greene, Kathy Bates, Alan Arkin, and even a very young Scarlett Johansson. But when you get right down to it, a giant cast isn't any kind of crime. Like I said, I found the movie interesting if nothing else.

And to the reviewer who called this the worst movie ever, I say this: you don't know the worst movie ever until you've seen the dreadfully boring "Baryshnya-Krestyanka", which I saw while in St. Petersburg, Russia, last semester. If in fact it's based on an Alexander Pushkin novel, then Pushkin must spin in his grave every time someone watches that movie. The only way that I kept sane while watching it was by throwing out comments like on "Mystery Science Theater 3000" (and then when I wrote a review to turn in, I dedicated the review to Bob Denver, who had died a few weeks earlier). My point is, even that last reviewer would have to agree that "North" looks like "Citizen Kane" compared to "Baryshnya-Krestyanka".

So that's my take on everything.

I really enjoyed this. A subversive fantasy, kind of set in the real world of curious and questionable adults.

I think I was the same age as Elijah Wood when he starred in this movie, and I think I recall seeing the world something like this, albeit minus the American satire. What we don't know and imagine about adults when we're kids is both wonderful and terrible. North captures this quality well. I also was questioning of my parents and this movie struck a chord.

This is also the only film you'll likely see Bruce Willis in a pink bunny rabbit costume. If you like wonder and anarchy you may like North.

Why does everyone slam this movie?????I liked it!! What were the critics expecting? Oscar worthy stuff?? I mean, obviously it's not. But that doesn't mean it's not enjoyable. That's one reason why I hate critics. They're mean. I only watched this movie because of Elijah Wood (I love him!!), and I wasn't expecting it to be that good, but I was surprised!! In a good way. So if you want to see this movie, don't listen to the critics!!! Use your own judgement, people. That's all.

Luv, Farfalla Dolce

By the way, about the swearing and stuff in the movie, is it reall that bad? I mean, as if kids who watch the movie don't use them already. Seriously people, just think about it!! It was a cute movie, let's leave it at that.

Wow this movie was bad. I heard Siskel and Ebert slandering it when I was younger...and I was thinking that it couldn't possibly be that bad. Well,...I was wrong. Elijah Wood plays a boy who doesn't like his parents because they don't let him do everything that he wants to. She he decides to take them to court. And the suprising thing is that he actually wins. Kids don't get out of their homes when their parents are molesting them, beating them, and neglecting them, and North gets out because his parents don't let him run wild like he doesn't have any? The movie is just lame. Maybe it's amusing to 10 year olds who think that parents should let them do whatever they want, but the world just isn't like that. So get over it. The only good thing about this movie...of which many other commentaries have mentioned, was Bruce Willis in the pink bunny suit. I bet he will never live that down. He's probably looking back on this movie and crying. It was nice to see him in a 'family' movie. 2 out of 10. The 2 points are for the bunny costume.