No Contest

Disclaimer for avid Shannon Tweed fans: there's no nudity whatsoever in this movie. That could be surprising to some, but as I always say: guess there's a first time for everything. This isn't really the kind of sleazy soft-core flick Tweed is usually known for either, it's more of a sleazy dumb action flick. I'll never go as far as calling this screenplay unsubtle, but at one point Tweed's character is described as "Bruce Lee with boobs". Just saying. The whole thing is entertaining enough though, mainly because of the bizarre choice of co-stars. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Andrew Dice Clay, who the hell did the casting on this one? Whoever it was, he or she rules the Earth. The action scenes look pretty good too by the way, Bruce Lee with boobs kicks some serious ass at some point. This movie actually looks like it was meant to be as generic and cheap as possible, but luckily there's too much coolness in it to make that happen.

"No Contest" is a silly rip-off of "Die Hard".

The plot: Sharon Bell (Tweed) is hosting a beauty pageant when Oz (Clay) and his band of criminals take over the proceedings. Now it's up to Sharon to save the day! This movie is worth-watching for the unintentional comedy. The climax is hilarious! Dice and Tweed battle it out on a rooftop using martial arts. The sight of Clay doing roundhouse kicks and other similar moves is very amusing. Tweed also can't do karate and there's always a long shot instead of a closeup.

The acting by all is horrible, but it's not a big deal because you can't take this seriously.

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Shannon Tweed as a heroine? Andrew Dice Clay and Roddy Piper as bad guys? All three in a DIE HARD rip-off taking place at a beauty pagent? Hey, this isn't going to be a masterpiece, but it sounds like it would be great fun as a trashy movie!

I said "sounds like". But I was sorely disappointed. Tweed doesn't get naked. The action scenes aren't that great. Clay and Piper aren't that campy, and don't seem to be that enthusiastic.

Not the worst DIE HARD rip-off out there. But _nowhere_ the great movie it could have been. I know the premise sounds great, especially with those actors, but trust me, it's disappointing.

This might be the poster child for 90's direct-to-video action flicks or at least a frontrunner. A 'Die Hard' clone with a high-rise beauty pageant starring Shannon Tweed, Andrew Dice Clay, Robert Davi and Roddy Piper. Never will you see a cast list like this ever again. Plus Toronto Canada passing as America, armed bracelet bombs, Shannon Tweed doing martial arts and shockingly no boobs at all.

There's not a lot of substance to talk about, but this flick wasn't nearly as painful as I was expecting it to be. It feels like it had a respectful budget and there were some bursts of action. Canadian actor Nicholas Campbell plays another good slimeball and head of the police response is an actor from Death Wish 4 who gets killed with an ice pick.

If you strip away the familiar faces this film would lose a lot of its charm. Dice gets to chew the scenery and makes for a decent villain. Tweed who made her name in the erotic thriller genre gets to flex the action muscle. Robert Davi is mostly inactive, but gets a character moment or two while Piper is in early form here as a b movie tuff.

The story is silly, stupid but you know that. A hostage taking scenario for profit with some lazy latched on politics and revenge angle. If you wanna take a trip down memory lane or enjoy low level 90's action with some known names, 'No Contest' makes for a half hearted fun view.

Shannon Tweed's first attempt to change her image and become an action heroine is also one of her best films. To be more accurate, it's the best of the three or four films that I've seen her in so far. It's nothing more than a "Die Hard" clone, and Robert Davi is wasted, but the pacing never lags, the direction has energy and Tweed is fairly convincing as a kick-boxer. (**1/2)