Almost Heroes

After I got done watching Almost Heroes I immediately rewound the tape saw it again. It is one of the funniest movies ever created. If Chris Farley isn't a good enough reason to watch it, Matthew Perry should be. Both men do an incredible job acting dumb and yet civalized. If you ever get in a bad mood, I guarantee this will cheer you up as you roll on the floor with laughter.

In 1804, President Thomas Jefferson commissioned Lewis and Clark to explore the newly acquired Louisiana Territory and find a route to the Pacific. Other explorers followed Lewis and Clark but didn't become famous--if you believe this movie.

Among these less well-known explorers was Leslie Edwards, who seemed too much of a spoiled rich kid to spend time in the untamed wilderness--which is why he tried at first to take all the comforts of home with him, including a slave. He needed an expert tracker, but for some reason he had to settle for a man who was in the process of being hanged for drunk and disorderly conduct that included forcing a military officer to waltz. Supposedly, President Jefferson had commuted that sentence, but the signature could have been forged.

The rest of the crew was nothing to brag about. In fact, a number of them, after hearing they would have to travel upstream, wanted to take the easy way out and go to New Orleans instead. One old geezer simply wanted to see the Pacific but got out of doing any work because he was ... well, old. Guy Fontenot claimed to know all the languages of the Indian tribes the group would encounter. But the first time he was called on to translate, he explained that the language was one he didn't know. He brought along the Indian maiden Shaquinna and was insanely jealous whenever anyone would even look at her.

Along the way to the Pacific, our heroes encountered a number of strange Indians and even stranger villains such as Hidalgo. They also visited a full-fledged community established by whites--highly unlikely, but then, this wasn't supposed to be historically accurate.

This was a very funny movie, but whether it was quality depends on one's interpretation. For me, this was quite entertaining. Some examples: Bidwell loses an ear, and Pratt picks it up and speaks into it--for the rest of the movie--believing Bidwell will be able to hear him. And Hunt climbed a tree to get an eagle's egg--three times. I won't say why it had to be three times, or why he really regretted the second and third trips. But it was the highlight of the whole movie. There was also a scene where an Indian kept slapping the white men because they did not respect his customs. Or was that the real reason? And the entire movie was filled with physical comedy such as falling off cliffs.

One criticism--if Matthew Perry was supposed to have a British accent, or at least the accent of New England aristocracy, he seemed to forget in the more strenuous scenes.

The objective was to get to the Pacific before Lewis and Clark. Did they? Of course I can't say. I can say that from a distance in several scenes, we could see what appeared to be two men and an Indian woman, and a dog. Whether they made it or not, the effort was certainly one to be enjoyed.

I love this movie. I love movies with stupid humor in them, and this movie just cracks me up. How can you not laugh? Chris Farley's one of the greats. Him, Matthew Perry and especially the rest of the cast keep you laughing from beginning to end. It's hard for me to pick a favorite character. I really like Bidwell, his misadventures had me rolling on the floor in laughter, but the comedic genius of Farley had me going too. One of my most favorite parts had to be when they bring the boat ashore and meet the Native Americans, and they think the really tall one's the Chief, but it turns out he's not, his real name's Bent Twig and he's really mentally retarded. I laughed for almost 5 minutes straight on that part. This movie's definitely in my top 10.

Almost Heroes is a deliberately idiotic movie, and much of its

humor relies on the audience being aware of this. If you don't buy

that the movie is SUPPOSED to be ridiculous and nonsensical,

then you're not going to like it. Otherwise, it is a great Chris

Farley/Christopher Guest vehicle with abundant laughs, often at

the absurd crudity of its humor. There are scenes and dialogue

that come off as cheap attempts at lowbrow humor, when in fact

the real punchline is that you, the viewer, even acknowleged the

humor when it is so utterly tasteless. I, for one, laughed my @$$

off and got overdue fees at my video store because I couldn't stop

watching it.

As an amateur historian who has read extensively about the settlement of North America and The Corp of Discovery, I really liked this movie. While decidedly a comedy and parody of the Lewis and Clark Expedition, I found it to be surprisingly accurate. My reasons for this opinion are: 1) The costumes and accoutrements were right on. How many times since Davy Crockett have you seen a flintlock actually fire in a movie? The lodges were from Panther Primitives and Farley's pistol is an early 1800's Harper's Ferry. 2) The crew members all had distinct personalities. The members of the Corp of Discovery varied from well educated to nearly illiterate though all were accomplished at their respective skills. 3) Anyone who has ever been on a long term encampment will remember humorous events. 4) There were other explorers and adventurers on the Missouri in 1803-1806. 5) The dialog, while humorous, is accurate to the time and circumstances. If you read between the lines, you'll actually come away with a picture of 1804 North America that is surprisingly accurate rather than politically correct.