Unforgivable

A good film about an ugly subject: male-on-female domestic violence.

Here's some valuable back-story (not a spoiler): I've known Paul Hegstrom and his wife personally. According to them the film is an accurate portrayal of what an incredibly messed up man Paul Hegstrom was. Paul no longer *physically* beats his wife. However there are plenty of ways the physically abusive can continue the cycle of abuse without raising a hand. Anger issues and deep seated insecurities can be manifested in many ways than physically.

Another reviewer said, "I believe it was very courageous for the real life Paul Hegstrom to put himself out there and tell the world what he'd done. We all make mistakes, not many of us can admit it." Big assumption there. Paul Hegstrom has made a lot of money by promoting through his books and "counseling ministry" the stereotype that men are abusive and women are victims and that the inverse is rarely ever true; and where it is true the man must have done something to deserve it.

Take what good you can from this film, but don't presume that the central figure on which the film is based is a role model of genuine redemption. Unfortunately there are many physically abusive men (and although Hegstrom would deny it, women too) who overcome their physical abusiveness only to continue being equally abusive emotionally and psychologically. ALL forms of abuse are wrong and, unfortunately, this film may only perpetuate the stereotype that physical abuse is more evil than other abuses, and that only men are responsible for abuse.

This is an "exception to the rule" movie. This movie is an ode to domestic abusers, has intention for people to sympathize with domestic abusers, and is ultimately unrealistic. It's a science-fiction movie of how an idealist would hope a scenario like this would go about this. It felt more like an episode of an Outer Limits episode, it was that outrageous. Very pro villain. If you're into watching things with an undertone like that, then watch. Otherwise, it can be triggering for people who have actually dealt with this with an ending not at all similar.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

TV movie based on a true story about a wife-beating man who storms out on his family and then proceeds to beat his new fiancé even worse. The new fiancé insists he go to group or she will press charges. This is high quality TV fare like few made-for-TV movies are. John Ritter is a joy to watch once again, and he is surrounded by a great cast.

Ritter, usually Hollywood's Mr. Niceguy, plays a holy terror in this tale of raging spousal abuse. Very effective film showing how a family can be torn apart for years by a lunatic who was created by the actions of his own father. Realistically played out, this picture could serve as the 'poster' movie for a problem which is apparently more pervasive than I had supposed. A definite must see.

John Ritter was well known for playing nice guys so in Unforgivable he takes a turn to the dark side playing a hard drinking, wife beater in this true life television film.

Ritter plays Paul Hegstrom a whiny car salesman who abuses his wife has a girlfriend (Beth) on the side and when he walks out on his wife and kids he soon turns on Beth as well hospitalizing her in a bout of rage.

Beth forces Paul to join a counselling group for abusive men or else she will press criminal charges. He reluctantly joins a radical therapy group with other spousal abusive men like him and eventually realises the extent of his abuse and the effect that it had on his wife and kids, especially his daughter who wants nothing to do with him.

Ritter relishes playing a more darker character but the TV movie does pull its punches a little because of its medium. Paul is shown to be rather one dimensional, a charmless loser, he is argumentative with his boss and even testy with his friends. Usually these types of guys are charming at work and with their friends to highlight their Jekyll/Hyde nature.

Kevin Dunn plays the counsellor who gives his usual good performance but the rest of the therapy group did not convince me, looking like a bunch of stereotypes causing friction with each other, eventually having some sort of comradeship when they each realise the errors of their ways.

Of course Paul has to make amends with his family but although his wife might be prepared to forgive him, his daughter is not. Like a lot of American movie of the week true stories I am not sure how faithful it is to the real life scenario, an intriguing film but not wholly successful.