- Mr. Barry: We're looking for someone to wear multiple hats.
- Rudy James: Well, hey I can do that! I even brought a few hats myself!
- Rudy James: [doing stand-up, adjusting a shorter microphone stand] Good evening, folks! Don't you just hate following Danny DeVito?
- Rudy James: [after being told he will be teaching skiing] Oh, "skiing"! I thought you said "scheming"! I'm-- I'm not a schemer.
- Rudy James: [wearing a bedazzled cowboy shirt] This show is brought to you, in part, by the Bedazzler.