Phat Beach

Is nothing else on TV? Are you really bored? Well, then watch Phat Beach. However, don't rent it and definitely DO NOT buy it. That would be a big mistake.

I watched this on TV and found myself laughing at certain points. I did not laugh long and I did not laugh hard. However, there were subtle jokes and comments I laughed at. If you are looking for an extremely funny "hood" movie then watch Friday. If you are looking for a powerful emotional movie (something that this movie tries at..kind of) watch something like hoop dreams or Jason's Lyric. If you are lookin for some good black "booty" go watch a Dominique Simone porn flick, because the nudity in this movie is nearly non-existent. However, if you have nothing better to do and this is on cable, go ahead and watch it. You will be slightly amused.

***3 out of 10***

Watching this movie was the biggest waste of time and 2 bucks for rental in my life. If nothing catastrophic happens before I die, this will be the biggest regret of my life. Who ever even thought about this movie, or financed deserves a kick between the legs, because that's where they were thinking when they made this movie. It's about an overweight guy who is a hopeless romantic, and writes pretentious drivel that tries to pass off as poetry. He joins his amorous friend in a trip to the coast. Where they meet girls and such. Only the fat guy doesn't get a girl. Skin flicks don't annoy me, I take 'em for face value. But this movie tries to be more than a skin flick. It's about Fat guy looking for love in some girl, but then meets another bikini silicone girl that enjoys his poetry. He finds his talent for volleyball which gets money for his family and impresses the ladies, only he has his lady anyways. The dialogue is super-horrible for even a C movie. It supports a ton of black stereotypes, no character development, it's a glorified porno movie, without any porn in it. Never ever watch this movie.

Phat Beach (1996) is a movie that I recently watched for the first time in a long time on Tubi. The storyline follows a pair of friends looking for a quick buck and to score some honeys; and for one of the friends, get their parents off their case. One of the friends has a plan to go to the beach to sell sunglasses. Unfortunately for them they spend more money than they make once at the beach and they will need to find a way to make some funds to get home.

This movie is directed by Doug Ellin (Entourage) and stars Brian Hooks (Bulworth), Eric Fleeks (The Glass Shield), Jermaine Hopkins (Lean on Me), Coolio (Dangerous Minds) and Tom Lister Jr (Friday).

I always thought it was funny that this movie was advertised as having Coolio in it, and he's barely in it. 😂 This has a lighthearted storyline that steals elements from House Party and Friday but isn't nearly as good as either of them. The premise had potential, and there are a few solid one-liners that will make you smirk, but the decision making and comedic elements were average or over used. The females in this are gorgeous, and the strip club scene is fantastic. The soundtrack is solid too.

Overall, this is a below average addition to the comedic genre that's still worth a watch. I would score this a 4/10 and recommend seeing it once.

"Phat Beach" is a lighthearted, playful film that embodies the spirit of 90s humor. With a runtime of 1 hour 29 minutes, this R-rated comedy manages to pack in a decent amount of laughs and entertainment. The movie's strongest aspect is its nostalgic value, with plenty of classic 90s references and humor that will have you chuckling.

One of the highlights of the film is the guest appearance by Coolio, which adds a touch of coolness to the already fun vibe. The cast's chemistry and energy are infectious, making it easy to get caught up in the movie's carefree atmosphere.

While "Phat Beach" may not be a groundbreaking or deeply meaningful film, it's a solid choice for those looking for a lighthearted, fun watch. If you're in the mood for some 90s nostalgia and a playful comedy, this movie is definitely worth checking out.

Before "Phat Beach" (which was JFK's answer to Vietnam.), I was a loser. I was going to college to major in being a burger flipper. I was goin' nowheresville fast. But as soon as I saw "Phat Beach", I instantly knew that my life would never be the same. It inspired me to find true love by stealing my dad's car to find my dream woman. Like the movie, I was almost hit by a huge truck while sleeping right before I got to a Phat Beach. But, enough about me. The movie was excellent: great plot, great hot boxes, great actors, great kenny rogerz. The only thing that could be better would be Woody Allen and more hott black ladiez. I mean, Phat black ladies. I mean, Phat African Americans.

I want to get the DVD, because I hear that there's cRaZy bloopers where Benny joins the navy and steals some car or some crap.

But Coolio is in this movie, and I was very offended. I hate him so much. The only thing worse than his acting is his horrible, horrible music (which is, in some ways, Phat).

If I were to sum this movie up in one statement, it would be, "gangbanging fun and 2fast2furious acting." If you liked that piece-of-crap movie, you'll probably hate Phat Beach, due to it being Phatter.

This got a 3 on the PH scale. It was like acid. But the good kind. The Phat kind. The kind that you put on sores to get sick, sick pleasure.

Like oranges.

You can compare this movie to F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby. Benny was Gatsby, in the way that he was longing for his one true woman that he knew about, but could never obtain. Like Nick, his friend Direll or whatever that guy's name, he got the woman. And just like The Great Gatsby, everybody died in the end.

Watching Phat Beach is also statistically proven to reduce the risk of heart cancer and HIV.

PHAT BEACH RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11