Killers

An embarrassing piece of cinematic incompetence. I've heard more compelling dialogue in laundry detergent commercials and seen better acting in Mentos ads. At no time during this reel of tripe was there even the most vague hint of suspense, character development or unpredictable sequence of events. This was a completely sophomoric attempt at film making and the result was a film with absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Ishtar beware! ! ! !

After seeing this film, I am convinced that the people who added positive feedback about this movie are either:

a) grateful to come out of their cave and see daylight, much less ever see an actual good movie...

b) a storeowner who bought several copies of this video and are trying to rid themselves of them or...

c) actual members of the production crew on this movie.

The movie was so bad, I had to check the box to make sure this wasn't still in production. The only redeeming quality was the 3 second intro. The dialogue was horrible. Maybe it just seemed bad coming from the either whiny or monotone voices coming from the actors. This is to cinema what SAVED BY THE BELL is to intelligent comedy. Garbage.

Much of the commentary on this board revolves around debating the validity of some comparison to R DOGS made on the DVD cover. Forget about all of that... This film-- er-- home movie is utterly horrendous. How can anyone with a shred of credibility claim this as being 10/10??? There is no plot, none. I couldn't believe that I spent money to rent this (more on that later) and that I had fooled myself into believing that this (based on box cover art and some sort of film fest award blurb) had potential. The only thing I do really remember was that, unbelievably, one of the annoying main characters was supposedly offed with a bullet to the head... and he ends up surviving the wound and making it to the final credits alive. Wow. And looky dere, Killers has a sequel. Double wow.

True story -- I actually was in so much denial that I had wasted my money and life force on this rental that I kept the videotape for what must've been six months. I kept telling myself that it never actually happened. The video on top of the TV was an illusion - a mental symbol of my self-loathing. After someone pointed out that is was indeed real and that I needed to get a grip, I decided that I couldn't just leave it there. I thought, "How many others have I denied the suffering of sitting through the viewing of this masterpiece by hoarding Killers all to myself?" I had to do the right thing and return it back to the hell from which it came.

So, as I imagine most of the populous of IMDb would do in a similar situation, I mustered up some major courage and drove to the video store... at 2AM. After making sure that no one was around, I got out of my car (still running of course), slipped the movie into the drop box slot, and booked the hell out of there never to return.

I guess I expected that some goons from Hollywood Video corporate would come looking for me (the bill must've racked up to something like $1,238.67 by that time) so I moved away from the area. However, coincidently, much like the Killers storyline, nothing ever happened.

The first movies from The Asylum and an example of a company that debuts with a terrible movie and carry on making countless others that are even worse. Killers I really do have to agree was a disaster on all levels. Well...maybe not quite all, Kim Little was not too bad, actually she gives a very impassioned performance, though she was much better in the sequel(which while not great was a significant improvement over this). And you can't help shake off that feeling that she was too good-seeming for someone so low. But her performance isn't enough, and that is mainly because the rest of the acting is so bad, more a case though of people trying too hard rather than non-tryers, especially from Paul Logan who makes his clichéd role even more so with a permanent scowl on his face, I wasn't sure whether it was because he was trying too hard to be villainous or whether it was because he didn't want to be there in the first place. A lot of things don't help the actors though, their characters are stereotypical, blandly developed and even annoying(Erica Ortega's character does come out as over-the-top), and the dialogue is vomit-inducingly inane. The story did have an underwritten and over-simplistic scenario to begin with, but does nothing to do something with it. It was too dull, predictable and completely lacking in suspense, and further spoilt by direction lacking in tautness and some of the most irritating camera work(enough with the rapid camera shots already) and lighting schemes of any movie I've encountered. All in all, apart from Kim Little Killers is a disaster. 1/10 Bethany Cox

this movie is the epitome of bang to hype ratio being so uneven as to be totally uncomparable to anything committed to film...the ridiculous fake praise on the packaging made this a 'must-see' indie film gem...upon viewing, it is now a 'must miss' piece of indie crap that renders the opinions of anyone praising this festering pile of shit null and void...shot on a budget of five dollars that would've been better spent on a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best...at least I would've known the headache was coming...