Barb Wire

Although based in comic book series, the "Barb Wire" movie intends to be a remake o classical "Casablanca". It keeps the core elements of the 40's film, but adapts it to a distopic sci-fi action futuristic movie. Pamela Anderson plays Barb, a role similar to Bogart's Rick. The gender of the love affair from the past and of the third part of the love triangle have also been changed. The fictional town of Steel Harbor in the United States replaces Casablanca and the story is held during a futuristic Second Civil War rather than in the beginning of World War II. Both protagonists own a bar/nightclub, but Barb Wire is also a bounty huntress. As this remake is a sci-fi film, special contact lenses that cheat retinal scans substitute the letters of transit kept with Rick. As predictable, acting is worse in this remake, which has much more action. Off course "Casablanca" is much better, but surprisingly "Barb Wire" is not bad, in spite of the bad critics it has received.

Picture this: a Pamela Anderson science fiction double bill on television. I mean, you'd just HAVE to watch it, wouldn't you? Just to see how bad it was.

1995's Naked Souls kept making me look for the "TV Movie" credit that wasn't there. A cheap and exploitative "erotic thriller" where Pammie exposes her left breast within the first three minutes of the movie. Anderson is an artist, specialising in plaster-casting nude women, rubbing mixture over their breasts while they proclaim "it feels kinda sexy". Her boyfriend, decently played by Brian Krause, is studying brain wave patterns and accidentally crosses his own with that of a serial killer. It's all very silly and derivative, also involving a Faustian pact with a mysterious benefactor. What disturbs is that all the victims of the killer are nude women – I mean, who gets into a swimming pool naked? – meaning the film uses sexual violence as titillation. Dean Stockwell, in a minor role, is wasted in stuff like this.

If Anderson's role in the predictable Naked Souls was peripheral (and also completely irrelevant to the plot), then Barb Wire sees her take over the screen. Released the following year, this saw the now Pamela Anderson Lee as the titular character, a Barbarella of the 90s. Of course she can't act – she only manages one expression throughout the whole two hours – but her assured performance is wonderful here. While it's easy to lump both these films together as trash entertainment, Barb Wire is so much more than that. A vibrant, witty and well-directed cartoon for the screen, its constant energy is a delight. What really appeals is in seeing the sheer amount of cinema pastiches the film rigs up. Batman, Never Say Never Again and even The A-Team are all parodied. But most significantly, it shares multiple plot similarities with Casablanca, and I honestly suspect that this was intentional. Or would its 2017 planes really be so old-fashioned? Barb is a neutral bar owner during a war by day (ring a bell?) a vixen for hire by night. The landscape she occupies is an excitingly neon world of legalised prostitution, engineered diseases and sophisticated contact lenses.

Maybe the opening moments – Anderson Lee exposing her bare nipples while water washes over them to a baying crowd – are tacky and unnecessary. The scenes that follow also contain a torture sequence that is not only misguided in its attempt to arouse but also transparent in its purpose for expository dialogue. Yet beyond those first few scenes we have an action movie that contains above-average scripting for the genre, and some fun moments. It's amusing to try and guess whether Pam knew she was being kitsch or whether she genuinely believed she was giving a good performance. But whatever the answer, it still gets a laugh when a rowdy customer finds his genitals in the mouth of her rabid Rottweiler. "Sit", she tells the dog, much to the drunk's displeasure. "Now, you don't want to see her roll over, do you?"

All the criticisms that can be made against this film – that it's badly acted, appallingly scripted, dumb and sexist (even though none of them are 100% true anyway) – can be disputed by the fact that it's SUPPOSED to be badly acted, appallingly scripted, dumb and sexist. This is a film that never pretends to be anything other than a pumped-up, camp and downright silly movie. What's more, it succeeds in being more entertaining and convincing than many of the "straight" versions of the same format, with particular note drawn to it's fight scenes. They may be excessive and lack maturity, but they're shot beautifully and are fun to watch. I'm not a huge fan of action pictures, but I thoroughly enjoyed this one. If you want a film that possesses depth and integrity, then see something else. If you want a lovably stupid movie, with Pamela Anderson sticking out her little finger as she burns rubber on a motorbike, then watch this. Tremendous fun.

I have a weird obsession....to see every film on IMDB's infamous Bottom 100 List. "Barb Wire" is currently #44....and my 94th film on this list! However, after seeing it, I am not sure that it really deserves to be on the list. Sure, Pamela Anderson got the Razzie Award for her performance and it is a dopey film...but unlike most of the films on the list it was never intended to be a good movie. It simply was made as an excuse to dress (and undress) Anderson in very revealing clothes! It's not what anyone would consider a masterpiece, not was it ever intended as one....just a film to show as much of the lady as she was willing to show. And, in places (such as the opening credits) you see a lot.

"Barb Wire" is based on a comic book by Dark Horse, a company known for characters such as The Mask, Hellboy and comics like "Sin City". Again....none of these characters or films were ever intended to be carried by the Criterion Collection nor to be up for Academy Awards!

In this story, Anderson plays the title character, a combination stripper, hooker and assassin. And it's all set in a dystopian and dark world...of the USA in 2017! She strips, turns tricks and leaves bodies where ever she goes! She also, interestingly, sounds like she's doing a Steven Segal impersonation in the film...softly mumbling most of her lines. Bad enough for a Razzie? I wouldn't say so...but it's not like I'm in charge of giving out these infamous awards!

You can probably assume that I thought the film was pretty dumb....and you'd be right. But it's exactly what many folks wanted in 1996...a chance to see Anderson at least semi-naked. It delivers this....along with a dark, silly and not especially enjoyable story.

If you actually JUST want to see Ms. Anderson's body, skip to the special features on the disc and select 'SEXY OUTTAKES'....then you can skip the silly movie entirely and just see what most folks who watch the DVD really want anyway.



By the way, the opening song was "Word Up"....an extremely catchy R&B/hiphop song by Cameo. But, oddly, some other folks perform it...and it's not nearly as good as the original. I wonder why they didn't just pay for the rights to the original....I can't imagine it would have been THAT expensive.

Wow. Now this is not good. However, the movie sets its level right away, by having a stripping, dancing wet Barb (Anderson) already in the introduction of the movie. So, there you have what this movie is all about. Sure you get some violence, explosions and bad costumes as a bonus. Clearly, there is no relevant story in the movie, all revolves around (Barb) to show her off in different ways. The mentioned costumes are almost offending to the audience. Whoever responsible for them clearly did not work very hard. Barb competes with herself to wear some leather-thing that shows off as much as possible, but actually must be considered well dressed as compared to other ladies. The villains wear something that bear a striking resemblance to nazi-uniforms. Well sure, we know who's the bad guys, thank you. And some other people wear broken calculators and other piece of machinery that you'll find in a scrap-heap as hats, and are automatically dressed up like guys from the future. If it was this easy to make a good movie, I could have made it myself. Fortunately it is not, and Barb Wire is not a good movie.

But, and this is a mysterious but, I actually didn't get bored out of my mind and switched off. The movie actually, in some way, had some small piece of entertainment value throughout that made me stay. And that something, whatever it was, is what ultimately saves the movie from being complete junk.

So, if you have absolutely nothing else to do, you may want to watch this one, once. You may get some ideas how to (or not to) dress for the next masquerade.

3/10

"Barb Wire" was pretty transparently designed as a showcase for both Pamela Anderson's body (too "artificial" for my taste) and her newly-acquired martial arts skills (which, I must say, are quite remarkable). Other than that, it has nothing new to offer to the sci-fi/comic-book adventure genre, although it has a few (too few!) well-executed action sequences and a more professional look than thematically similar crap like "The Demolitionist". (**)