Bad Channels

I like Full Moon films, they have a certain charm to them despite on the surface being seven shades of awful. If it weren't for Full Moon we wouldn't have had the Puppet Master franchise, Doll Man, Gingerdead Man, Evil Bong and countless others.

Bad Channels is supposedly part of the Puppet Master universe but I can confidently say I don't see the connection.

It tells the story of a "Shock Jock" who comes into contact with aliens intent on using his radio station equipment to kidnap women............somehow.

Not the most intriguing of plots and truth be told it's execution is even worse. It looks like a Full Moon film with the same plasticcy special effects and that's okay, the general quality of the film however isn't.

It's just so, bad! The characters, the script, the concept, it's like a weird artsy student film and I have to say I think this is likely the worst Full Moon movie sadly.

I'd suggest that anyone beyond the most hardcore Full Moon fan avoid this one, it isn't horror, it isn't comedy, it's just the absolute pits.

The Good:

Full Moon feel

The Bad:

Extended musical segments

Pretty much everything to be honest

'Bad Channels' is one of the worst SF/horror movies ever made. It's so boring and unfunny that you could almost think it was directed by Ted V. Mikels of 'Blood Orgy Of The She-Devils' fame. In fact it was directed by Ted Nicolaou who previously made the useless 'TerrorVision'. Now that was one lame so-called comedy, but this one is even worse. Getting through to the very end was a real chore even with the fast forward on the remote in constant use. The other guy responsible for this crud is Jackson Barr who also scripted 'Trancers 2' (a.k.a. 'Future Cop 2'). Now that wasn't the greatest movie ever made but at least it was entertaining. I don't know what went wrong here but it's really one to miss. Even a soundtrack by Seventies Rock Gods Blue Oyster Cult and some allegedly "clever" parodies of music videos (a generic 80s hair band, a grunge thing, and a sorta Mr. Bungle/Primus one) can't save this utter waste of time. Paul Hipp (an Abel Ferrara semi-regular) leads a mediocre cast, which includes former MTV Veejay Martha Quinn and various other nonentities, in a ridiculous tale of aliens taking over a radio station with the plan of capturing Earth women, shrinking them and placing them in bottles. Why are they doing this? Who knows. Who cares. There is ONE, count 'em, ONE laugh in this whole movie and that is a cameo by b-grade legend Tim Thomerson, and that doesn't even happen until AFTER the final credits. This movie stinks on ice. Avoid at all costs!

Here's a sci-fi / horror B flick for the MTV generation, a positively goofy and cartoonish piece of lightly entertaining trash. Paul Hipp stars as "Dangerous" Dan O'Dare, a controversial radio disc jockey doing a marathon at isolated station KDUL. Well, along comes an alien, a bipedal monstrosity with a hilariously oversized head and a faithful robot. The alien (Michael Deak) takes over the station, and puts into a motion a plot to kidnap and shrink hot young woman by hypnotizing them with rock video styled visions.

"Bad Channels" has to rank as one of the silliest things that Full Moon produced. If one is looking for "cheese ball" entertainment, they could do worse than this. The various rock acts are passable, with Sykotik Sinfoney rating as the WTF highlight. This act dresses in various costumes and plays some pretty absurd stuff. All of the creature and makeup effects are pretty tacky, but that may only add to the appeal for some in the audience. That robot has to be seen to be believed.

The cast is basically okay. It is cool to see MTV VJ Martha Quinn in one of the leading roles, as ace reporter Lisa Cummings. The cast includes other familiar faces as Aaron Lustig, Ian Patrick Williams, Michael Huddleston, and Sonny Carl Davis. Sexy co-stars Charlie Spradling, Daryl Strauss, and Melissa Behr give it all their all as they dance away in what they think are these rock videos.

The truly worthy component is a score by the veteran rock band Blue Oyster Cult. Folks do have to wait through the closing credits for the best joke in the movie, a cameo by a Full Moon franchise character. As always, it's a pleasure to see this actor in anything.

Five out of 10.

I had never heard about this 1992 horror sci-fi comedy titled "Bad Channels" before now in 2023, as I happened to stumble upon the movie by random chance. And of course I opted to sit down and watch it, on account of it being a movie that I hadn't already seen.

Writers Charles Band and Jackson Barr put together something definintely unique and strange here. But it was working out in favor of the movie, because the storyline was so corny and cheesy that it was actually a fun movie to watch.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, but the actors and actresses put on good performances to bring their characters to life on the screen.

The special effects in "Bad Channels" were actually working out well in favor of the movie. Some of the special effects were pretty bad, but still worked out fair enough as they were so bad that they became fun to behold on the screen. And then other effects were rather nicely made, such as the creature seen towards the end of the movie.

If you enjoy a sci-fi horror comedy that doesn't take itself particularly serious, then give director Ted Nicolaou's 1992 movie "Bad Channels" a chance. I was definitely entertained by this cheesy early 1990s movie.

My rating of "Bad Channels" lands on a five out of ten stars.

There's a new DJ in the town of Pahoota, shock jock Dangerous Dan O'Dare (Paul Hipp). He's about to bring some rock'n'roll to the former polka channel KDUL Superstation 66.6. A pretty reporter (former MTV VJ Martha Quinn) is covering the story for a TV network when she sees a UFO. Of course, no one believes her. Dan finds out she's telling the truth when an alien that has a head that looks like a blue-black cauliflower with a window set in front, and his robot minion, take over the radio station. The alien has come to Earth to shrink women and place them in bottles using Dan's voice to pick the best-looking female listeners. Each woman the alien wants experiences a rock fantasy, much like a music video, that others can't see. Yes, really.

This admittedly silly Full Moon film is a sci-fi rock'n'roll comedy, and it delivers the goods with pretty girls, great music and some laughs too. No one will call this movie a classic, but it's fun in a "check your brain at the door" sort of way. The music is pretty awesome. There's a heavy metal song (with Ron Keel), a grunge rock song and, my favorite, "Manic Depresso" by Sykotik Sinfoney, a silly song with guys in clown, cow and nun outfits. Yes, really.

The acting is fairly good, although some actors are a bit over the top. Ted Nicolaou's direction is competent, if uninspired. The music score is by the rock band Blue Oyster Cult. Those who normally skip the end credits may want to know that the final joke takes place after the credits. (Of course, you might need to be a Full Moon fan to really appreciate it.) When Cinemax broadcast this movie back in the 1990s, they unfortunately cut out the final scene. A movie titled DOLLMAN VS. THE DEMONIC TOYS is a sequel to DOLLMAN, DEMONIC TOYS and BAD CHANNELS simultaneously. (Actually, this "sequel" changes the ending to BAD CHANNELS, and it's not good at all.) The DVD includes an 11 minute featurette (a condensed version of "Videozone".)

Although this movie is hard to recommend to the average movie lover, I found it to be highly entertaining.