Scenes from a Mall

Director Paul Mazursky is always at his best when satirizing trendy Southern California lifestyles, and he does so here from that most quintessential Southern California setting: the shopping mall, where Bette Midler and Woody Allen break up and reconcile over the afternoon of their 16th wedding anniversary. The windy script was obviously written with Allen in mind, but the New York comedian is just as clearly out of his element playing a nouveau-riche, pony-tailed attorney with a taste for sushi and frozen yogurt. The sheer novelty value of such unlikely miscasting is irresistible, especially with the typically neurotic Allen paired (for once) against a co-star as extroverted as Midler, more or less reprising her role from Mazursky's 'Down and Out in Beverly Hills' (1986). But the film never rises to the laugh-riot level expected from the talent involved: it's a claustrophobic, one-act, two-character comedy, no less thin and shallow than the LA culture it mocks, and often pointless except as a vehicle for its two bankable stars. Imagine the film with two unknown actors in the same roles, and it all but disappears off the screen.

In Annie Hall, Alvy Singer observes that the only cultural advantage of living in California is that you can make a left on a red light. Here. in the thick of it, Woody's character is a committed Los Angelean with designer suits, fast-talking business deals but still with that underlying angst. There's a lot to recommend this relatively stagey effort from Paul Mazursky - the screenplay, the leads and the unique setting - although Kevin Smith has done it better since in Mallrats. What is perhaps missing here is any new revelation or insight into the characters who remain pretty much two-dimensional throughout. It is alas predictable fare but still worth a look for a touch of Woody as he might have been if California had enticed him over.

I enjoyed this a lot, but more in the way you enjoy a play than a film. I can see how this would annoy some people, but I quite like it when film mimics theatre- for instance, by restricting virtually all the dialogue to two characters, and virtually all the action to one, claustrophobic, location. The plot is slow and unlikely, but the writing is good, and the acting superb. Particularly fine is Midler's murderous side-long glance at the word 'zombies'. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen Allen have better chemistry with his leading lady. So, not a film for laughing out loud at, but engrossing, well done, and fun to watch. Best thing about it: A mime gets punched. Worst thing: Woody Allen in a white jacket and- God help us- a pony-tail.

Some films make the viewer a participant. Others make the viewer, well, a viewer. Others make the viewer a voyeur. SCENES FROM A MALL makes the viewer a third wheel. A very uncomfortable position to be in.

Like in real life, the third wheel is the poor schmuck who innocently accompanies a couple on a date or dinner or whatever and often ends up being less a companion than a witness, or worse, a referee, when a lovers' spat breaks out. In such a situation, all one can do is to keep looking at one's watch, pretend that there is nothing wrong and, above all else, don't get involved.

When it was announced that SCENES FROM A MALL would pair Bette Midler and Woody Allen together as a bickering couple who spend the day at the mall, I couldn't help but smile. Bette and Woody married, what a great idea. They both seem so different, yet so perfect together. And to their credit, they do have great chemistry here. They click. And they are certainly convincing as a couple with a whole boat load of marital issues. Maybe too convincing. What could have been an amusing thread of a story if interwoven into a larger tapestry becomes instead a tiresome ordeal. Woody and Bette argue and bicker and insult and break up and kiss and make up and argue and bicker and insult some more. Their day-long excursion to the mall to do Christmas shopping becomes an extended primal therapy session. Despite the best efforts of the two stars, what begins as an amusing domestic comedy rapidly become just plain annoying.

The fault lies with writer/director Paul Mazursky, whose films -- good, bad or indifferent -- seldom have a strong focus and tend to ramble shamelessly. It is a style of film-making that, in theory, tries to represent realism, but in practice it violates the conventions of what we accept as film reality -- reelity, so to speak. Mazursky's films always tend to look and feel like rehearsals, not a finished production.

This film has it assets. Woody and Bette, of course. And the recreation of a California mall, mostly filmed on a New York soundstage is quite convincing (though how many malls feature ballroom dancing?). SCENES FROM A MALL looks right and is acted just right, but in the end, this trip to the mall wears you out, leaving you just wanting to go home.

Like many viewers, I was underwhelmed by this film in 1991. Thirty-one years later, I'm pleasantly surprised how good it is. Maybe age has something to do with it, both mine and the film's. Bette Midler and Woody Allen turn in great performances. Suspend your disbelief and just enjoy the bright, quick-witted repartee.