Scenes from a Mall

He lives in Southern California. He spends time in a mall. He carries a surfboard. He wears a ponytail. Is this really Woody Allen, or an imposter? This movie received a critical beating when it came out, but it's really not that bad. In fact, I sort of got a kick out of seeing Woody in this. He is well matched by Bette Midler, who reprises her Down and Out in Beverly Hills character. Director Paul Mazursky, who usually makes either Southern California or Manhattan-set social comedies, brings Woody out to the Beverly Hills that he's trashed in so many movies (the most obvious being Annie Hall), and plucks him into the center of '80s and '90s California consumerism--the mall. The story involves Allen and Midler discussing their infidelities in various mall settings, but the dialogue is merely a clothesline for the idea. It was a hard idea to pull off, but I, being the Woody Allen fan that I am, enjoyed it.

In Annie Hall, Alvy Singer observes that the only cultural advantage of living in California is that you can make a left on a red light. Here. in the thick of it, Woody's character is a committed Los Angelean with designer suits, fast-talking business deals but still with that underlying angst. There's a lot to recommend this relatively stagey effort from Paul Mazursky - the screenplay, the leads and the unique setting - although Kevin Smith has done it better since in Mallrats. What is perhaps missing here is any new revelation or insight into the characters who remain pretty much two-dimensional throughout. It is alas predictable fare but still worth a look for a touch of Woody as he might have been if California had enticed him over.

Now I remember when Scenes From A Mall first came out, it got absolutely atrocious reviews. I wasn't old enough to see it then, but I loved the idea of a movie with two of my comedy heroes, Woody Allen and Bette Midler. In fact, I had almost forgotten about this movie until I read a review of the newest Woody Allen movie, "Small Time Crooks" in which the reviewer said that Allen hadn't had as good chemistry as he had with Tracey Ullman with another actress since Scenes From A Mall. So I went out and found the movie, and the reviewer was definitely correct. The two stars have masterful chemistry, although it's almost ridiculous to believe Woody Allen and Bette Midler would be together, but then again isn't that it in most of his movies. I mean does anyone believe he could have gone to bed with Mira Sorvino, Julia Roberts, Juliette Lewis, Elisabeth Shue, I mean even Judy Davis is a big stretch. Well whatever. The problem I had with the movie is that it is more like an absurdist play than a real movie. This married couple go to the mall on their anniversary and both reveal they have had affairs. The film is believable except for the wild and sudden reactions that Bette Midler's character has to Allen's revelations. She knees him in the groin and screams at him. Now nobody enjoys Bette Midler's antics more than I do (think the phone call scene in Ruthless People) but I just didn't buy it. It was like Bette Midler was dying to have moments of big ballsy comedy inserted into a more serious film. Then of course they make up, which isn't very believable either, nor is it funny. Then she reveals her affair and Allen overreacts. At this point I was like in disbelief that anyone would expect us to swallow such a hackneyed and predictable reaction and story set up. Of course they're more fighting, and an annoying mime (hello? they stole it from tootsie) and lots of garish on again off again reactions. Gee I wonder what happens at the end? It's not a hard one to predict folks. It was perfectly enjoyable though, but when you think about it in your head you realize it's really not such a with it piece of work. The movie reminded me of Midler's more recent film "That Old Feeling" where she again overreacts with big screaming fights that are supposed to be hysterical. The couple in that movie also go do an on again off again thing with lots of screaming in between. Like I said, they're both enjoyable and Midler radiates charm but why does she keep saying yes to this terrible s**t? She's a good actress, and she should be doing better comedy's not this terrible lowbrow material, (hello Drowning Mona was beyond embarrasing, its already the worst film of the year). All in all, scenes from a mall is worth it for the great chemistry between the two stars and its pretty cute. But why anyone would think that we would enjoy seeing Woody Allen in a ponytail is beyond me.

Some films make the viewer a participant. Others make the viewer, well, a viewer. Others make the viewer a voyeur. SCENES FROM A MALL makes the viewer a third wheel. A very uncomfortable position to be in.

Like in real life, the third wheel is the poor schmuck who innocently accompanies a couple on a date or dinner or whatever and often ends up being less a companion than a witness, or worse, a referee, when a lovers' spat breaks out. In such a situation, all one can do is to keep looking at one's watch, pretend that there is nothing wrong and, above all else, don't get involved.

When it was announced that SCENES FROM A MALL would pair Bette Midler and Woody Allen together as a bickering couple who spend the day at the mall, I couldn't help but smile. Bette and Woody married, what a great idea. They both seem so different, yet so perfect together. And to their credit, they do have great chemistry here. They click. And they are certainly convincing as a couple with a whole boat load of marital issues. Maybe too convincing. What could have been an amusing thread of a story if interwoven into a larger tapestry becomes instead a tiresome ordeal. Woody and Bette argue and bicker and insult and break up and kiss and make up and argue and bicker and insult some more. Their day-long excursion to the mall to do Christmas shopping becomes an extended primal therapy session. Despite the best efforts of the two stars, what begins as an amusing domestic comedy rapidly become just plain annoying.

The fault lies with writer/director Paul Mazursky, whose films -- good, bad or indifferent -- seldom have a strong focus and tend to ramble shamelessly. It is a style of film-making that, in theory, tries to represent realism, but in practice it violates the conventions of what we accept as film reality -- reelity, so to speak. Mazursky's films always tend to look and feel like rehearsals, not a finished production.

This film has it assets. Woody and Bette, of course. And the recreation of a California mall, mostly filmed on a New York soundstage is quite convincing (though how many malls feature ballroom dancing?). SCENES FROM A MALL looks right and is acted just right, but in the end, this trip to the mall wears you out, leaving you just wanting to go home.

Even though the movie is pretty much everything that Woody Allen is not, it's still somewhat enjoyable to see him paired with the amazing Bette Midler. The story is interesting to say the very least: it's their anniversary, and Nick (Allen) decides to share a secret. It so happens that they are located in a mall, and the drama is surrounded and contrasted by hundreds of neons, stores, billboards, colors, and excitement. In the midst of all this, a life shared for years is crumbling down, as Nick is not the only one with a secret. The movie, being interesting as it is, has its flaws. The dynamic between Deb (Midler) and Nick is sometimes unbearable as it shifts drastically from one side to another. They are both on two separate rollercoasters, and it's can be annoying. Perhaps the most charming feature is its never-ending symbolism. Every little thing can be interpreted as many different things in the movie, and I don't think the movie should be taken in as it is. There are many interesting aspects in the movie, and as always, Woody Allen delivers with his almost-there-over-the-top performance. All in all, it's probably not the easiest and not the best thing Allen has been a part of, but it's still worth it to see him yelling and talking about sex...because it always is.