Not Without My Daughter

Its only a movie!!! Relax with all the serious comments about the movie trying to put down Iranians. Personally I thought this movie was a great drama. Living in Iran is nothing like living in the USA. Imagine being used to all the freedoms you enjoy in the US and suddenly find yourself in Iran.

Here you are in Iran. Strange place, strange people, restricted freedoms. Okay I can handle this for a few days I guess. Then you are told we are never going back home. Woe!!!!!!!!! Talk about a sudden feeling of fear and anger. Sally did a great job of putting you in the driver seat, right with her. All I could do was root for her to get her daughter and get the hell out of that place.

As for the comments about the mother being selfish and not respecting his wishes. She agreed to go visit his family, and he lies to her tricking her into staying.

I agree this would have been a good Lifetime drama, but not a bad movie at all. I give it an 8 out of 10.

The story of Betty Mahmoody is a truly frightening one. The book she wrote and this movie based on it are controversial (many see it as little more than a racist slam against Iranian culture) but to me this movie came across as both believable and balanced. There's no doubt that life in Iran isn't presented as paradise, but the story really isn't about life in Iran; it's about one woman's experience of being forced to remain in Iran against her will after she and her daughter accompany her Iranian born doctor husband back to his homeland to visit his family, and about her subsequent efforts to escape Iran with her daughter. It also does a great job of depicting the almost complete lack of rights and freedoms women possess in Iran - having a status as little more than property to their husbands, and subject to their complete control.

Sally Field was excellent in the role of Betty and Alfred Molina was also disturbingly believable as "Moody" - her husband. As the story opens, the family are living a comfortable life in Michigan and Moody is a completely Americanized doctor working in a local hospital - a loving husband and father. Against her better judgement, Betty agrees to visit his family in Iran - a family more radically Islamic than Moody who from the moment they arrive begin to pressure him to stay and adopt their ways. Molina did a good job of showing the gradual changes in Moody's character and as he becomes more and more abusive and controlling toward Betty. Field superbly portrays Betty's growing desperation and her feelings of helplessness (and hopelessness) as every opportunity for her to escape with her daughter seems to close. Finally, with the help of some sympathetic Iranians, Betty and daughter Mahtoub make a mad escape attempt toward Turkey.

Whether all aspects of Iranian life and culture are accurately portrayed here seems somewhat beside the point to me. This isn't, after all, a documentary about life in Iran. This is Betty's own story as she experienced it and remembered it - and it's a story that makes the viewer ache for her as she tries to figure out a way to escape this nightmare she's caught up in. I found her story completely believable and brilliantly portrayed.

This is the truth about Iran back in that time period.

Then when the evil Ayatollah finally died and went to hell where he is dancing with Hitler things started to change for the better, But then Hitler 3 took over Iran and it's sliding backwards.

There's a reason everyone with any brain wants to get out of there.

The reason there were so few doctors was every educated person left that country.

And if Mahtob had stayed there she would have had female circumcision by age 7 and married by age 10.

The movie told Betty's side of the story.

Part of me wants to believe that her husband was as trapped as she was at least at first. Knowing if they tried to leave they would all be killed. Because killing is an Iranian hobby during that time especially.

But no father who loves their daughter would ever subject them to that culture.

In most of the middle east women have no rights. Rape is legal for the rapist but the victim gets stoned.

Girls aren't educated or if they are they are taught to be good wives, submit to being raped by their husbands and that they are not worthy.

I saw this movie quite some time ago and enjoyed it. It did not leave me with a negative image of Iranians, Islam or Persia at all. I saw it as a simple story of mother trying to do what was best for her daughter. Not wanting ones daughter to be a second class citizen in my own opinion does not warrant the hostility I have seen portrayed in the previous comments. Sally Fields performance was certainly good. The movie told the story from the wifes/mothers point of view. I found that the movie showed just cause why the husband would become disenchanted with the USA. I can completely understand why he would like to return to his home. After all there is no place like home. My sympathy however with the husband left me when I saw the deception he displayed keeping his American family in Iran. This movie, though flawed was well worth viewing.

This movie may not win in terms of geographical accuracy or cinematography. However, the woman depicted in the movie is based on the real Betty and she is the writer of the screenplay.

I know many things about many different countries, which seems to be odd for an American. I have read many books about Islam, and ultimately I think that it is most often a religion associated with violence, especially against women. I understand that there are many modern, peaceful people who practice Islam, and I am of the opinion that they have adapted an ancient, oppressive creed to their modern progressive values in order to reclaim it for peace.

To anyone who thinks the husband is irrational, or unrealistic, understand that this movie is based on ACTUAL events, not fiction. I know as a woman, that there is no way I could ever safely travel through Iran, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, and many other places regardless of it being 2010. I feel it is sick and sad that these women are covered because the men in those places have not learned to control themselves.

I interact with many international students within my TESL program, and the only people who prefer to not speak with me or acknowledge my statements in a classroom have been Muslim men.

Culture is one thing, and trying to kill Ayaan Hirsi Ali, a dutch parliament member originally from Somalia, for making a film about exactly which parts of the Qur'an oppress women is another. Sadly, Islamic extremists did manage to kill her director, Theo Van Gogh, while he was bicycling in Amsterdam (not an Islamic country). I am proud of France for standing up for equality and banning womens' head scarfs in Governmental buildings because they represent the inequality of men and women which goes against their republic.

I just wish I could convince my public college to stop building prayer rooms and foot washing facilities for Muslim students using student fees. No religion should be getting state money for any educational facilities, and yet in Minnesota there is a charter school next to a mosque that is suing the state for not handing over funds because they violate state law regarding religion in schools (google Muslim school in MN gets state funding). They, of course, are not the only religion trying to get into schools. Many Christians would like to see their religion in schools again as well.

I have been following stories of Islamic oppression of women for many years with my mother. While I understand that there are MANY, NON-VIOLENT, MODERN Muslim people, there are still many cases of abuse against women and children by Islamic men across the world. There have also been many cases of Islamic extremists destroying artistic works, literatures, and other cultural artifacts that are not of their culture. This is fundamentally wrong in my opinion, as it was for death metal groups to burn down 13th century Christian churches in Sweden, (google Swedish church fire). These types of art and structures hold value to ALL MANKIND not just the people that made them. This is human history being destroyed!

I myself am of the opinion that MOST major organized religions oppress women, especially Catholicism, Lutheranism and various sects of Christianity in America. Buddhism didn't allow women to practice for a long time. I do believe that Islam may be the most oppressive religion to women overall.

In light of more recent works like Persepolis, this movie is not unrealistic, despite being tacky and poorly filmed. In Persepolis, the parents are very liberal and modern. The writer of those graphic novels lives in France despite having very liberal parents, and that says everything.