Don't Do It

This movie was on late night t.v. tonight, and I was so unimpressed with it that I had to come here and find out the title so I would never make the mistake of renting it. When I found out that the title was Don't Do It! It suddenly made it all worth while. The cast is deceiving. There are multiple names that you might associate with movies of integrity, but don't be fooled. I have never seen Heather Graham give a more melodramatic and unconvincing performance in my life, and that includes Dream a Little Dream. It is mind boggling that a movie can be so dry and unrealized. The premise is actually potentially very good, but it seemed that no one's heart was in it at all. Perhaps this is because the dialogue was poorly written, the actors were apathetic, and the director was satisfied with performances that were more vacant than an empty hotel. Oh well, if you come across this one, look no further than the title on the box. Unless, of course, you are a film maker and you want an advanced course of what not to do. That was what kept me watching, and boy do I ever feel enlightened.

Wow, this was absolute crap from start to finish. The plot was horrible and it was so very predictable I'm so sorry I even rented it. What really grinds my gears is that they wasted Heather Graham's time. She was totally wasted in this movie. Honestly, the only reason I picked the movie up was to watch her in it. But the role was wasted. I feel bad. She was so good in 'From Hell' along side Johnny Depp. She was vibrant and so focused. This movie she was just annoying. Too bad. Anyway, It was bad. Plain and simple. I wish that they could have had some sort of twists. Or something! And I mean honestly, a girl walks in a bar and all the sudden her and this guy is 'spooning' on a couch in the bar? LAME. If you like movies that have a lot of camera jumps and story switches then go for it.

Ok, here's the thing. Bear in mind that I rent stupid movies on purpose with the intent to laugh at how stupid they are. This being at least part of the reason I picked this movie up. It has one of my favorite cheese movie actors, a Charlie Sheen look alike (I think anyway) Balthazar Getty. However, this movie is not cheesey in any way at all. That, however, does not mean that it is good. Far from it. If you ever consider renting this movie, be prepared to cry. No, the content of the movie is not sad (the fact that someone made it may be, but the content isn't), but you will cry if you watch this film. I think-- no, I am quite sure-- that I got stupider just from watching this film, if it can be called that in good grace. Well, I think you get the point, take the advice of the title-- Don't Do It!!! It hurts my head just to think about this movie. This has been a public service announcement, thank you.

Suzanna (Heather Graham) has begun to ask her boyfriend, Dodger (James Le Gros) for a semi-commitment. Yet, Dodger is very reluctant to commit to anything, as he is still rather hung up on his old girlfriend, Alicia. Therefore, although S and D do move in together, domestic bliss is elusive. Meanwhile, Alicia has moved on to a gentleman named Robert, a musician and her commitment is getting deeper. She has just discovered she is pregnant and doesn't know how to break the news. Two girl hungry males (Balthazar Getty and Robert/Alexis Arquette) cruise the streets and talk about their past relationships. Finally, a handsome gentleman, Charles (Esai Morales) spies a beautiful blonde, Michelle (Sheryl Lee) watching him shoot pool. He shows off, winning a match which brings down the wrath of his opponent. As the defeated one rushes off to bring his co-horts back to pound Charles, C and M get to know each other and like what they find. But, Charles was once involved with Suzanna and Michelle with Robert. IT'S COMPLICATED FOLKS! BUT, NO ONE REALLY CARES. This lame musical chairs romcom has one thing going for it; an attractive cast. Yet, even they can't muster much life into crazy lines and situations, with big boring spaces in between. Ok, maybe the scenery in LA is nice, too, at times, and the costumes are fetching. But, here 90 minutes seems like five hours. This viewer likes many genres and styles yet there is nothing to say for this one except: DON'T VIEW IT.

This movie was made in the spirit of Friends meets Reality Bites. But unfortunately, it misses the mark. I know, the early nineties was filled with tons of talky indy comedies about couples breaking up and making up and some of them are better than others. Well, this is not one of the better ones. It is just too cliché for its own good. It was a shame to take such an interesting and attractive cast and just waste their talents on the horrible drivel that tried to pass for dialogue. The direction was sloppy, the pace was like a snail, and the film just kind of fell apart. I got the feeling that at least one cast member did this movie as a favor for one of his friends in the business, while another wanted to get her feet wet in the film industry in hopes of moving on to bigger or better things. You know what they say about good intentions......