Zero Patience

Film Critic DELIVERED with stinging irony, that lyric is meant as a blanket indictment of empiricism, and of our abiding need to "classify and label," to "banish every doubt." Why? Because a label is a tool that can double as a weapon - what identifies and separates can also isolate and stigmatize. How, then, to describe Zero Patience without falling into the empiricist's, and the critic's, taxonomical traps? A "movie musical about AIDS" is a popular answer - one that's odd enough to be enticing, vague enough to be innocuous. But it doesn't begin to sound the depths of a work that is intriguing, provoking, amusing, offending, demanding, inordinately intelligent, and defiantly resistant of the very thing I'm paid to do.

So let's approach the picture from another angle, from the perspective of writer/director John Greyson. Now Greyson, unlike some artists who happen to be gay, would probably agree that there is indeed a definable "gay culture," an esthetic that goes heavy on irony and camp and outrageous humour and unapologetic theatricality. Clearly, all these ingredients are abundantly evident here. Just as clearly, Greyson (whose background lies in - get ready for a label - experimental video) has positioned his film at a 180-degree remove from a piece like Philadelphia. That movie, a drama about AIDS with a gay protagonist, was the product of mainstream Hollywood culture (unironic, non-outrageous, linear in plot and design), and took enormous pains not to offend a mainstream audience. This one is the product of a gay culture and doesn't give a damn who it offends. This one is smarter and more subtle, but lacks the emotional punch of the other (linear directness has its rewards), and the attendant complexities are hard to grasp at a single sitting.

Perhaps this will help a little: Greyson has reincarnated the Victorian explorer Richard Burton (John Robinson), using him to symbolize the dangers inherent in the empirical approach still taken by the scientific community toward all issues, including the AIDS plague. Burton, who toils in a Natural History Museum, is intent on mounting an exhibit called The Hall of Contagion, with AIDS as the sexy centrepiece. Just as his explorer colleagues once tracked the source of the Nile, he hopes to trace the "cause" of this disease. Causation, of course, is a first principle among empiricists. Rationally, if you find the cause, you may find the solution. Ethically, alas, it's a different matter; there, if you find the cause, you can point the finger - you can affix blame, you can isolate and stigmatize.

Enter another reincarnated soul, a gay ghost known as Patient Zero (Normand Fauteux) - the flight attendant who, in books like Randy Shilts' And The Band Played On, is "blamed" for first bringing AIDS to North America. Much of the film unfolds as an ongoing dialectic between the attitudes embodied in Burton and Zero, between serving a false cause and serving as a false villain. However, the dialectic takes the form of a literal song and dance - zippy production numbers where Glenn Schellenberg's toe-tapping melodies are laid over Greyson's thought- provoking lyrics. Consequently, the decorative fun on the surface (watch, if you dare, for an eye-popping ditty entitled The Butthole Duet) simultaneously competes with and complements the seriousness beneath - it's like tossing a colourful AIDS quilt over a dying AIDS patient. Greyson has refined and desentimentalized that most difficult of genres, the musical tragedy, and with every succeeding tune, he exponentially advances his thesis - other potentially false causes, like the "African Green Monkey" theory, like the HIV virus itself, come under his fire, as does everything from greedy drug companies to grousing AIDS activists. The film spares no one because, well, the disease spares no one.

Philadelphia is American in origin, Zero Patience is Canadian. Each is splendid in its own way, and each reflects the best of the culture (and the industry) that gave rise to it. The former is conventional, straightforward, and all about certainty, including the certainty of death. The latter is quirky, complicated, and all about uncertainty, especially the uncertainty of life. Greyson, and the film he's made, are brave enough to question incessantly, and smart enough to know that "HIV- positive" is a lot more than a medical label - it's a cruel oxymoron. He has zero patience for the blustering apostles of science and even art, and (the ironies abound) has more in common with another eminent Victorian than he might care to admit. Mister Greyson, meet Mister Tennyson: "There lives more faith in honest doubt,/ Believe me, than in half the creeds." Benjamin Miller, Filmbay Editor.

One of those totally surprising contributions that remind us that there are still film-makers with talent and originality out there.

This Canadian film is hard to classify - it's costume drama, romance, Broadway musical, ghost story, mocumentary, educational film, puppet show, and political soap-box all at the same time.

It tells the story of the noted Victorian sexologist Richard Francis Burton (still alive after an unfortunate encounter with the fountain of youth) and Patient Zero, the man who, according to the media beat-up, brought AIDS to North America. After three years dead, Zero returns (not quite to life) to clear his name, but the only person who can see him is Burton, who wants to use his story as the centre-piece of his banal 'Hall of Contagion' exhibition.

Nineteenth century attitudes collide with twentieth century morality. Things get really sticky when the local AIDS activists weigh into the argument ...

Gorgeous original score, singing bottoms, dancing (stuffed) animals, talking viruses, synchronised swimming, a chorus of naked men, taxidermy! - there's something in this film for everyone.

Funny, bizarre, devastatingly sad - this three-tune-musical-on-film has got everything, though not everyone will cope with the grown-up content and highly theatrical treatment.

Exotic fruit indeed: witty, subtle, and not-so-subtle, with lots to think about - well worth seeing, and not only as a rare example of how to make a musical work on film.

Zero Patience is a musical comedy about AIDS. Yet this wonderful film by Canadian indie-film making god, John Greyson, is more than it seems; Zero Patience tackles such subjects as homophobia, AIDS, the life of Sir Richard Francis Burton, and the ignorance that still exists about how AIDS came, and spread, through North America-- all wrapped up in a good old fashioned love story of boy meets boy. Instead of being preachy and dictating, Greyson captures the beauty of life, death and love, while expressing a powerful social message. All in a musical format which is all too often overlooked in the 90's, and brings back the movie-musical era of the 40's. It's funky soundtrack and colorful cast will entertain viewers from the opening credits. Zero Patience is quite possibly the most outrageous and original movie you will ever see.

This is one crazy musical. AIDS the musical. It's so far from my usual taste in films...not that there is anything wrong with that...but just not my thing. USUALLY. But I had a friend who took me unaware and I found the music and strange visuals very appealing. I still get songs from the film stuck in my head out of the blue. It's amazingly catchy. And the characters are very sympathetic. I found myself really getting into something that I'd probably skip if I knew what it was about. I highly recommend this. Watch once to see how crazy it is. Then when you MUST hear the music again you'll find yourself seeking it out again. I would recommend you buying it since it's extremely hard to find the soundtrack or video. And not a sign of any DVD yet.

The most extraordinary thing about this film to me is that during a Gay Pride day in Toronto, I met some people that I knew and mentioned to them that I had seen them in Zero Patience. I then began to sing the praises of this film, and a moment later, they introduced me to the friend who was with them. His name was John Greyson, and he was the director of the film I had just raved on about! Well, he certainly knew I wasn't just being polite! :0) I gave this film an 8 out of ten, first of all because of the fact that anyone who can make a musical comedy about AIDS right in the middle of the epidemic and pull it off has got balls. Secondly, he did it with an outrageous satire that spares no-one, from the devious doctors to the exploitative politicians, and even takes on Act Up members with aplomb. Some people have said bad things about the musical numbers; I found them to be full of surprise, inventiveness, humour and camp - not to mention a touch of whimsy and pathos. This film has so much packed into it that it almost defies definition. But all in all it works. Finally, although the tone is continually exaggerated, the actor playing Patient Zero managed to flesh out his character to the point where we could relate to a "real" person. And boy, is he sexy! So, I ask you, what is there not to like?