Wild Cactus

Okay, "Wild Cactus" is supposed to be some kind of escaped convict hostage drama. At least that's the film-makers' story.

And that's why we watch it, right guys?

Yeah...as long as it has a lot of female nudity, kinky situations and creative use of maple syrup.

Allen (once and future Playmate) shows her acting talents as Naughton's wife and what a wife; she'll go to any lengths to help spice up their dormant marriage (any kind of relationship with Allen would have to be anything BESIDES dormant, wouldn't it? Oh well....).

Anyway, Hudson (yeah, one of the Hudson Brothers) has just been released from prison and is looking for a little excitement. After hooking up with a nicely unbalanced Moffett and killing two ex-girlfriends, he looks for new avenues to travel and finds them when Naughton and Allen happen into view.

I can't believe that I actually bothered to describe what passes as a plot here. Guys, listen - women get naked, there's simulated sex, low-budget intensity, a blonde putting on a strip show (YOWZA!) for Hudson and the obligatory traveling salesman who comes to the wrong door at the wrong time. All the while Gleason (from a lot of John Hughes movies) slums as a local sheriff trying to solve the murders.

Anyone looking for real plot and motivation, look elsewhere. This was made by Jag Mundhra, who is not exactly a character-motivated director. But at least he knows what sells: lots of rampant well-proportioned female nudity.

Now THAT'S entertainment.

Six stars. Actually, I think that the title, "Wild Cactus", is explained somewhere along here but for some reason, I was distracted.

For people that love erotic movies and softcore pornography, this movie is a great choice. This film is filled with sex, violence, deceit and betrayal. I loved Gary Hudson's role as the badass Randall who wasn't afraid of anybody and that got every woman he wanted. Also, the performances from David Naughton, India Allen and Michelle Moffett make this movie a true classic and a thriller masterpiece. It is really fantastic watching the story of a criminal who is released from prison that goes on a crime spree with his sluttish girlfriend and takes revenge on his ex-girlfriend who put him in jail in the first place. Randall's death is amazing, as while he was enraged and about to kill everyone and leave, gets bitten by a snake and then shot by Alex who says ''Hail to the king'' as he stated he is the king of crime. I recommend this movie to everyone.

This was plain trash, sex, drugs, bad acting, but hey, at least that's watchable trash!

I was completely dissatisfied with this trash. It has everything a typical movie of this sort would expect to have: terrible acting, stupid lines, and lots of nudity. I wasn't even impressed with the sex scenes. I mean give me a break - sex on the hood of a car as a train is going by! And Indian Allen getting raped by a guy and afterward kissing him on the back! And who would enjoy rubbing someone's breasts after they smeared syrup on them! How pathetic can hollywood get? Do yourself and don't waste you time with this nonsense.

This film couldn't be more formulaic to its genres, those being (1) bad-guy(s)-terrorize-innocent-people, and (2) late-night-cable-T and A. Having said that, I must admit that it does so much better than average. The actors seemed to actually try, and no major character turned in a performance that he or she needs to be ashamed of. India Allen is lovely, and while no Meryl Streep, did pretty darned good for an ex-model. Gary Hudson is reliably evil. The real jewel of this film, however, was Michelle Moffett as Maggie. While some of the simulated sex was pretty cheesy, the other nude scenes were hot. I would have given this one a 5 without them...but I ended up giving it a 7.