Enemy Gold

You know, it takes a big man to do a good job at a hard task. But it takes an even bigger man to admit he what he cannot do, and then strive to do what he does best. That is Andy Sidaris in a nutshell. True, while he'll never be the next Steven Speilberg, he is truly a master at the task which is presented to him: B-movies. I have only seen three of his films and can tell this already. Enemy Gold is one of them. This film is a slap in the face to those who say that the exploitation of Sex, violence, and rock-&-roll are wrong, and then rubs the slap down with a little ice. What I'm trying to say is, that this movie, while not entirely wholesome, is still a good movie, no matter how you slice it. The enormous juggs are just a way of keeping peoples attention.

Having worked as Second Unit Director on a fair few of his father's trashy T&A action films, Drew Sidaris finally gets a crack at writing and directing his own feature, Enemy Gold, which sees a trio of government agents suspended from work by a corrupt official, discovering a stolen horde of Civil War gold while on vacation, and fighting for their lives against a vengeful Colombian drug-lord and his cohorts.

Sidaris Jr. starts afresh with new characters, a (mostly) new cast and a change of location, but doesn't exactly break new ground, using the 'hot women, guns and explosions' formula that has proved so successful for his old man; but despite his best efforts at emulating dear dad's style, Drew clearly hasn't been paying enough attention to the finer details...

Unforgivably, it is a whole 10 minutes before he gets any of his ladies naked (Andy would never have allowed that); 20 minutes have gone by before there is a gratuitous hot-tub scene; and the film is almost over by the time we get the movie's sole soft-core sex scene. Worse still, Drew offers no radio-controlled scale model action, no comedy hit-men, and no squib-tastic bullet hits.

Kudos to Drew for casting Playboy playmates Suzi Simpson and Tanquil Lisa Collins, both of whom are stunning, and also for having Julie Strain (as assassin Jewel Panther) wave a sword around by firelight, wearing nothing but a few leather straps, but pretty much everything else about this film fails to entertain, making it one of the weakest films in my Girls, Guns and G-Strings box set (so far).

'Enemy Gold' is the first sequel Andy Sidaris's son took over directing duties, but it follows formula. Low level action, simple plot and requisite female nudity. Established faces Bruce Penhall, Mark Barriere, Rodrigo Obregon & Julie Strain return as existing or new characters. While Suzi Simpson - a former Playmate - makes her debut & only appearance.

Agents Cannon (Penhall), Austin (Barriere) & Becky Midnite (Simpson) bust a drug op angering Bolivian dealer Santiago (Obregon). Suspended by an annoying superior, their boss Ava Noble (Tai Collins) tries to sort things out. In their downtime, they search for some fabled lost Civil War gold while Santiago brings in hired killer Jewel Panther (Strain) to take them out and a betrayal is revealed.

I understand the series charm, but I don't consider myself a fan. This entry is a perfect example as to why. 'The Dallas Connection' was one of the first T&A movies I saw and although it gave me an appreciation for both Julie Strain and Julie K. Smith, I didn't think much of the action or story. What's on display here feels ten times lower. The best thing is Obregon chewing up the scenery, spouting bad guy b-movie dialog.

Supplying the parts anyone really cares about - Suzi hops in the shower twice (first within 10 mins) and supplies one sex scene (33 mins in). Tai reveals the goods in a sauna / shower combo (21 mins in) and has sex near the end. Two strippers & bad guy have a brief shower three-way. Leaving Julie to strut her stuff in a bikini & go topless near a campfire wielding a sword in the latter half.

'Enemy Gold' isn't the series high point, but still feels like a Sidaris flick. The action is nothing to write home about per usual. Lacking from this entry is some cheesy allure and more abundance of boobs. Could have used more humor too, but it's not like they were shooting for the moon here. Die hard fans will be satisfied though.

My Sidaris movie streak continues with the 1993 movie "Enemy Gold". Granted, this particular movie sees Andy Sidaris step back and has Christian Drew Sidaris take over the director's chair. But hey, potato potato, right?

"Enemy Gold" is a step back from the original formula, and this particular movie from writers Wess Shannon Rahn and Christian Drew Sidaris just didn't really live up to the expectations set by the numerous many previous movies from writer and director Andy Sidaris. Yet, I managed to sit through the movie in its 92 minutes runtime, but the best thing about this 1993 movie was actually the cover.

The storyline in "Enemy Gold" started out okay, but it quickly escalated into a chaotic mess of a storyline where the red thread went right out the window and the movie felt like director Christian Drew Sidaris was just putting together randomly filmed segments to make a movie.

The movie also has changes to the character gallery, so it lost that particular continuity that the previous movies had going on for it. I have to say that it was nice to see Julie Strain make it to the roster, but given the limitations of the script, then it was not much she had to work with. Sure, there were some familiar faces from previous movies, such as Bruce Penhall and Rodrigo Obregón, but nothing noteworthy.

"Enemy Gold" is not up to par with the previous movies and it is actually a less than mediocre attempt at the genre from director Christian Drew Sidaris.

My rating of "Enemy Gold" lands on a four out of ten stars.

Another cheap and silly thriller from the Andy Sidaris stable, this one actually made by his son. Julie Strain, the pneumatic scream queen of the 1990s, co-stars. The story is about the usual wooden good guy agents battling criminals and at the same time uncovering a cache of civil war gold, leading to more action. The only emphasis is on pin up models wearing very little, and it's all rather silly, although fairly well shot for its budget.