- Various Characters: [News reader] There will be a wet t-shirt contest this weekend for anyone who stands between me and the toilet.
- Various Characters: [News reader] Tonight's top news. Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the stupid persons house. Knock-knock. Who is it? It's the chicken.
- Various Characters: [POIDA] Theres a beer in there. Some Sunnies aswell. A chicko roll. Some Sunnies as well. Open wide. Come inside. Theres a VB. Ok, so join us again next week here on Play School where I'll teach yas how to make a home brew.
- Various Characters: [POIDA] OK, kids. Today I'm gonna show you how to make some fluffy dice for the rear view mirror of the car. First we need some paper. A black marker. And some scissors. Now, scissors are really sharp, so if you don't have mum and dad's permission, make sure they don't find out.
- Various: I am Fabio. The most beautiful man in the etcetera etcetera. You know, people always ask me for love tips. And i say to them to win a woman's heart, you must be romantic. You say to her things like A plus B equals root me!
- Various Characters: The coppa pulled me over and said did I realise I was going 150km in a 20 zone? And i said "Oh durrr"
- Various Characters: [News reader] Police have stated a burglar broke into the Abbotsford police station on Friday night and stole all of the toilets. The police said they have nothing to go on.