- Dot: Roses are red, violets are blue / That's what they say, but it just isn't true / Roses are red, and apples are, too / But violets are violet, violets aren't blue / An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green / A pinky's not pink, so what does it mean? / To call something blue when it's not, we defile it / But what the heck, it's hard to rhyme violet.
- Miss Flamiel: Yakko, can you conjugate?
- Yakko: Who? Me? I've never even kissed a girl!
- Miss Flamiel: No, it's very simple. I'll conjugate with you.
- Yakko: Good NIGHT, everybody!
- Yakko: Wait a minute. You expect us poor, innocent children to climb up dangerous scaffolding and paint naked people all over a church?
- Wakko, Yakko, Dot: We'll do it.
- Yakko: But we're not doing it for art. We're not doing it for the sake of money. No! We're doing it because we love painting naked people.
- Miss Flamiel: Dot, what can you tell me about the scientists of the 1800s?
- Dot: They're all dead.
- Miss Flamiel: No, no, no.
- Dot: Okay, they're all living?
- Miss Flamiel: No, no, no!
- Yakko: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.
- [Dot has forgotten her line after about 20 tries and lets out a stream of obscenities]
- Yakko: That was my cute little sister who said that.
- Dot: Don't look down. You might fall and hit your head and die and your brains would leak out alllllll over.
- Dot: Little Miss Muffet. Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet / And boy what a big tuffet she had! If you're feeling insecure, just sit next to her / And then you won't feel quite so bad. Thank you.
- Brain: [after Dolly Parton tells him that she is "Bubba Bo Bob Brain's" biggest fan and asks him "Whaddya say to that?"] I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.
- Yakko: Alas, poor Yorick!
- Dot: [translating] Whoa! Check out Skull Head.
- Yakko: I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.
- Dot: [translating] He was funny.
- Yakko: He hath borne me on his back a thousand times.
- Dot: [translating] He gave me piggy back rides.
- Yakko: And now, how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it.
- Dot: [translating] I'm going to blow chunks.
- Yakko: [kisses Skull Head] Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.
- Dot: [translating] We kissed a lot. NOT!
- Yakko: Where be your gibes now? Your gamboles? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?
- Dot: [translating] How come you're not funny now?
- Yakko: Not one now to mock your own grinning? Quite chap-fallen?
- Dot: [translating] No one's laughing now and by the way, your lower jaw's missing.
- Yakko: Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favor she must come; make her laugh at that.
- Dot: [translating] Follow that woman and tell her no matter how much make-up she wears, she's still going to croak and end up looking just like you, and see if she laughs.
- Yakko: Prithee, Horatio, tell me one thing.
- Dot: What'd you find in the hole?
- Wakko: Our next cartoon.
- Satan: Beyond these doors is an agony worse than all others. You will remain in here for eternity listening to... whiny protest songs from the Sixties.
- Arch Bishop: King Wakko, your throne.
- Wakko: The throne? How do you lift the lid?
- Dot: Since when do *you* lift the lid?
- Brain-2-Me-2: This is it, Pinky-O, our moment of truth. Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
- 3-Pinky-0: I think so, Brain-2, but a show about two talking lab mice? Hoooo, it'll never get on the air!
- Girth Plotz: We meet again, Princess.
- Dot: That's Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Lay Onna Pile Of Origami the Third. But you can call me Dot.
- Yakko: Is this you? Are you happily engrossed in inconsequential cartoon trivia to the point that your socks can probably stand up by themselves?
- Stewardess: Welcome to Air Pacific, the Jolly Airline. Our Deluxe 757 is equipped with a number of safety features to use in case of an emergency, such as our fuel tanks explode and we crash like a fiery ball into the sea. You'll find life jackets under your seats. In the event of a water landing, they will keep you afloat unless you are seized by a giant squid and dragged screaming beneath the waves. Thank you for choosing Air Pacific. You have well over a 40% chance of landing safely. Enjoy your flight.
- Yakko: We protest you calling us "little kids". We prefer to be called "vertically-impaired pre-adults".
- Wakko: Hey, mister, what's this?
- Ivan Bloski: A vomit bag.
- Wakko: Aaah, pooh. I got gypped. There's none in here.
- Dr. Scratchensniff: Dot, would you care to give it a try? But, I'd like you to make a little curtsey.
- Dot: Thanks, but I did before I left home.
- Yakko: And the moral of today's story is: If you can't say something nice, you're probably at the Ice Capades.
- Wakko: Dear Santa, I have been ever so good this year. I would like a new mallet and a shiny brass anvil.