Nails

Nails is one of those movies that since it's made for TV, then no one can see how bad two big stars can be. Dennis Hopper and Anne Archer should have known better. Hopper was in a pre-Speed slump and had I seen this stinker first, then I would've never seen Speed (What a mistake that would've been). I was suprised at the level of violence and language used in this movie. Never would I have believed that it could've made it to TV like this.

+ (GOOD THINGS) 1.) The car chases 2.) The opening credits

• (BAD THINGS) 1.) The sets (ugh!) 2.) Hopper's performance 3.) The script 4.) The direction 5.) Archer's performance

Total: 2/10

Its every single cop movie cliche in existence...but Dennis Hopper is pure entertainment here. The plot is Hopper's trying to get the guys who kill his partner in the first five minutes of the movie. There's apparently a hundred plus bad guys that Hopper has to go thru in order to find the responsible party. Along the way, you get to see Hopper do thinks like: he puts a bad guy's head into a big huge bowl of shrimp that he's gobbling down, at another point he runs to catch a bad guy who's climbed onto the back of an escaping truck and of course Hopper catches him and pulls him off the truck and beats the crap out of him. Oh and there's the scene where attacked by drive by gunfire while in the bathtub with his dog Hopper grabs his gun and runs out of his house after the bad guy while stark raving nude. (shrugs) I had fun watching it. Its a very enjoyable hour and a half if you like Hopper. (and who doesn't like Hopper come on now!!!) Also Keith David is in it and the end credits song is by Eddie Money! How can you go wrong??? You can't--He's Nails!!!!

In the post-The Wire world we now dwell in, we are forced to look upon the action/cop thrillers of the 1980's and early 1990's with somewhat fresh eyes. We now understand how a city is run, and how bureaucracy and politics can stand in the way of, say, the police force, getting their job done. No longer can a leather-jacketed, cocktail-stick chewing cop- on-the-edge cast aside the need of a search warrant and simply kick the door down. It used to be that as long as he drags out his man either in cuffs or in a body bag, and saves the girl, nobody will care about his disregard for the law, and if they don't, I quote Rambo, "f**k 'em!". But the enlightenment set by The Wire causes something like Nails, a made-for-TV, obscure little title probably forgotten by whoever has actually seen it, to fall from 'terrible' or 'run-of-the-mill', to 'outright laughable' due to it's complete lack of procedural logic and sense.

'Good cop with a bad attitude' Harry 'Nails' Niles (Dennis Hopper) and his partner Jack (Earl Billings) are lured into a trap by some gangsters, leaving Jack dead and Harry mourning. Getting no help from his police department, of which none attend Jack's funeral, Harry decides to use his street know-how to scour the criminal underworld of L.A. in search of vengeance. He discovers a dirty trail full of conspiracy and possible police cover-up that seems to lead all the way up to rich slumlord Noah Owens (Keith David), who is helping fund a Senator's campaign run. Battling alcoholism and a very bad temper, he must also try and win back his estranged ex-wife Mary (Anne Archer) before the gangsters get to her too.

I would probably have never even been aware of this film's existence had it not been for the poster in some cinema magazine or other back in 1992. My brother and I remembered it due to the hilarious title and equally hilarious tagline, so the temptation to actually go ahead and watch this proved too much. It's not quite as bad as I was expecting, given Hopper's energetic, but hardly convincing, performance at least managing to keep me half-interested. Common in early 90's movies, the technical aspects of the film are dreadful, and the action scenes are dull, with a few car chases and machine gun fights scattered throughout. It's so full of plot holes and weird narrative twists (Harry is paying his ex-wife, who is an important member of the Senator's campaign trail, for sex) that is best experienced on full mental shut-down, or else you're in danger of throwing things at the screen. Befitting of its obscurity, and a reminder of how bad the 90's really were.

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This is a low-class film with low-class, profane characters. Many times that spells death to whether I like the film but in this case, not so. That's because Dennis Hopper (perfect for profane, sick roles) is entertaining and the story moves at a brisk pace. There simply are not any dry spots. I always like to look at Anne Archer, too.

However, you can overdo the swearing, and that's the case here, and the usual modern-day clichés are here (i.e. the police captain fires the cop, who is the hero; Rambo-type action in which the good guys never get hit while the bad guys always do, etc.)

Those things downgrade this film to an average crime movie, which means it's still worth a look - especially if you like Hopper - but rent it before buying it.

Deplorable this property has yet to be properly telecined (w exception of long out-of-circulation German DVD); still only accessible via used VHS cassette tapes. Infinitely better than Striking Distance (1993) or Boiling Point (1993). Nails is director John Flynn's Vice Squad (1982).

Fantastic casting; everyone steps up here - with Hopper eclipsing his crazy-mad Texas Chainsaw Massacre II (1986) performance. The narrative is not without its flaws and could have benefitted with an additional 12 - 20 minutes breathing room. Nails is still easily one of the best renegade cop flicks of the 90s, alongside China O'Brien (1990) imho.