Legend of the Roller Blade Seven

I had the feeling after I watched this collection of camera shots with some dialogue thrown in that I had just been sleeping through a nightmare. People come in and out of shots for no reason, people are killed and return and there is a cut of a little dog at the end for no apparent reason.The dog does the best acting job, by the way. William Smith, who is one of my favorite actors, looks and sounds like he is recovering from a serious illness. The guy who plays Hawk might be the worst actor ever, except for the guy who plays the priest. Hawk is supposed to be a great martial artist. You could have fooled me. My favorite part is when the actors started talking like Bullwinkle. This collection of shots ( I refuse to call it a movie )is the worst thing I have ever seen involving known actors. Don Stroud and Karen Black should pack it in.I have a problem thinking that anyone got paid to do this.At the end there is a character resembling a cross between a yellow M&M and the The Elephant Man. Enough said!

If I told you anything about this movie, I'd have to steal the Dave Barry line "I am NOT making this up..." It is that ridiculous. If you enjoy laughing at bad movies with your friends, get Rollerblade 7.

Why let those two robots in the front row have all the fun?

this movie just plain sucks. i was 12 when i watched it and back then i could handle almost any movie but i watched this for 25 minutes and just had to turn it off. the acting (and lack of it) was just terrible. it didnt even attempt to give you a clue of whats happening in the film. the action scenes were even worse. sometimes you never get sick of seeing a really good martial arts move but after you've seen one repeated several times consequetively it gets slightly frustrating. this is just one lame movie.

How do films like this get made? This is a terrible film. This 'film,' found at my local video store, had an extensive amount of dust on its case and was on the bottom shelf of the sci-fi section. There were very good reasons for this.

If you like the idea of porno women with the iq of Forrest Gump in leotards on rollerskates, this is the film for you. Obviously it has gratuitous nudity. What the hell else would you do with a film like this? I mean the director could have at least turned this into porn. This film would have been much more interesting then. Porno actresses on roller skates in the future. The premise is interesting and arousing. Rollerblade makes baywatch look like intellectual art.

It is not often I get a film and my flatmates jaws drop at the sheer awfulness of it. The effects are possibly the worst I have ever seen in a movie. Plan 9 looks like Lord of the Rings compared to this.

If you are like me and constantly search video stores for the worst amd most exploitative films that you can find, including porn. Then you should see this film just for that. Otherwise avoid this film at all costs. Or drink 2 dozen beers and throw it on, its guaranteed to cure insomnia. I actually fell asleep watching it despite my best efforts.

We knew that this was going to be a bad film. We watched it with full expectation that we would laugh at its inadequacies. I could not remember laughing so hard at a movie. My friends and I bonded closer together that day when we watched this film. How can you not laugh at such dialogue as "You're going into the wheel zone? There is so much danger!" "So much danger?" "So much danger!" "So much danger?" "So much danger!" and later, "A gift, from the Master of Light Institute! The sacred samurai sword!" "Thanks, Father Donaldo." "It has a lot of killing left in it... go in peace!"

I nearly busted a gut laughing at the comical sword play, the aforementioned dialogue, the scene repetitions, the penchant of many of the actors and actresses not to wear pants, and the overall strangeness of the film. I can see how a lot of things could be symbolic, but to us who do not possess the inside knowledge of the underground film industry, we will never understand the message the director is trying to babble across, and will keep having reactions such as this. I'm certainly going to look at the other two RB7 films from 1991 and 1993 now.

To all the "High Art" folks out there. Please continue to make movies such as these. They may be stirring, inspirational, paragons of genius to you; to me and my friends, they're funnier than just about every mainstream comedian I can think of. Thank you. :-)