Skeleton Coast

It's yet another late eighties adventure/action film featuring such greats as Ernest Borgnine, Herbert Lom, Oliver Reed, Robert Vaughn and…Daniel Greene (from Atomic Cyborg and many, many Italian action films – maybe he got lost on his way to some Fabrizia De Angelis production?). This one has a kind of Dirty Dozen type deal going on which I'll explain….now: Over in some African country I never bothered remembering the name of, Borgnine's son gets kidnapped by the government (or the rebels, something like that), and Ernest goes to Africa to get him back, employing the help of Herbet Lom, then gathering together a rag tag group of mercenaries (Daniel Greene, token chick, token martial artist, old man, religious nut etc) and heads off into the desert with loads of guns to get him back. You know, the usual crap.

It's fun watching Borgnine and his crew blowing the crap out of stuff, and facing off first against Oliver Reed's security forces (you've got to love the way the film makes you think that Reed will come back for another battle, but vanishes from the film instead) then Robert Vaughan's nazi-style forces. Things blow up, people fire machines guns at each other, and is it just me or did Borgnine and his crew just flat out murder those smugglers in order to get that plane? Why are action films from this era so appealing? I'm not sure. There's no barrage of over-stylised shots, no self-parody, no Tarantinoisms, and no modern film would end with such a cheesy freeze frame like this one does. That all helps. Plus, who doesn't like Ernest Borgnine? He was Mermaid Man!

John 'Bud' Carlos's boisterous B-Cult actioner is gleefully engorged with the inestimably voluminous Thesping talents of Ernest Borgnine, Robert Vaughan, and deliciously dramatic dynamo Oliver Reed! This titanic triptych of titanian-tempered talent is no less robustly backed up by the majestically muscular presence of hench Euro-cult icon Daniel Greene, and no less delicious Drive-In legend Leon Isaac Kennedy, acting alongside the masterful character actor Herbert Lom! This explosively entertaining boy's own adventure being given some additionally sultry sizzle with the griddle-hot glamour of voluptuous vixen Nancy Mulford whose far from trifling, terminally titillating talents are put to bodacious gun-slinging use! When this Teflon tough gang of mongoose mean mercenaries take on a dangerous rescue mission in war-torn Angola they very soon find themselves up to their bulging bullet-belts in a Semtex-thick, guerilla-seasoned stew of sadistic adversaries, whereupon these equally dirty-minded denizens of doom riotously reveal that they are more than capable death-dealers themselves!

Fans of gonzo film-maker Andy Sidaris, or Martini cool Filipino action director Teddy 'Blood Debts' Page are sure to get a B-movie charge from the gleefully Gung-ho, bone-rattling bellicosity of the vastly underappreciated VHS-era actioner 'Skeleton Coast'. If there is space for David Winter's epic 'Rage To Kill' in your cult movie collection then you clearly have ample room for this low-budget, high voltage actioner from the more than capable B-Director who also spawned grindhouse schlock siblings 'The Mutant, 'Kingdom of the Spiders', and luminously lugubrious cult shocker 'The Dark'! With the breathtaking beauty of its East African vistas, deliciously dire dialogue, an ear-wormingly brilliant theme, and plentiful absurdity makes the bonkers B-movie boner 'Skeleton Coast' a surprisingly meaty 80s action treat, that is best served with multitudinous beers, and a no less generous side order of well salted hams!

One has to wonder why all these Hollywood actors signed up in 1987 to do a movie that was a co-production with South Africa. Even when you put that fact aside, what you still have here is a very strange production. For one thing, can anyone figure out why Oliver Reed's character is in this movie? He makes a couple of appearances, then bam! he's gone and never is seen again. Herbert Lom's character could also easily be written out as well.

Anyway, the movie overall is kind of talky and a little dull. Though there are some nice African locations, some decent action sequences, and Ernest Borgnine once again gives an entertaining performance. You get a little more out of him in this role because it gives you a rare chance to hear him swear (something Borgnine doesn't like to do in a movie), and you get to see him really ham it up when he disguises himself as a Cuban colonel (!) A movie to watch while you're reading a book.

My review was written in December 1988 after watching the movie on Nelson Entertainment video cassette.

Attractive visuals of the Namibian desert highlight this actioner from producer Harry Alan Towers, returning to the locale of his 1965 Edgar Wallace tale "Coast of Skeletons" with a new story.

Bad guys this time are safe targets, the Cubans and East Germans, involved in a border war in Angola. Ernest Borgnine toplines as a worried daddy, who organizes his own cutrate "Dirty Dozen" (actually only seven) commando unit in crossover into Angola and rescue his son, a CIA agent who's been captured and is being tortured for info by evil East German commandant Robert Vaughn.

Along the way Borgnine & crew also have a run-in with evil South African diamond security chief Oliver Reed. There are numerous escapes and recaptures before the ragtag mob, aided by rebel general Simon Sabela, head to safety with a horde of stolen diamonds as booty.

There are solid action scenes and large-scale explosions to punctuate the cornball story with Borgnine especially giving his all to breathe life into a stet character. Vaughn, who played the good-guy daddy in another recent Towers production about kidnapping, "Captive Rage", wisely uses his normal accent as the Germanic baddie here.

Among the commandos, statuesque blonde pinup Nancy Mulford looks out of place but acquits herself well in hand-to-hand combat with the guys. In one of seven southern African-lensed pics he's made in a row,, Herbert Lom makes a token appearance delivering exposition as Borgnine's local contact.

Despite the fact that the main premise of the film is a rip off of the 1983 movie "Uncommon Valor" (starring Ernie's 'Poseidon' sparring partner Gene Hackman), this film lacks it's portentous nature and concentrates on non stop action,some great battle scenes (despite what was obviously a limited budget) and a group of veteran actors, knowing full well that this isn't exactly "Shakespere In Love", having fun with their roles: most notably Ernest Borgnine, who gives it everything he's got.

In fact, the ones who will enjoy this movie the most will be fans of the '60s TV sitcom "McHale's Navy" -- or 'mercenary army' in this case. Substituting for Joe Flynn (Capt.Binghampton) is Robert Vaughn playing a German colonel, forever frustrated by the rumors of the approaching army's invasion of the prison fortress and the political prisoners contained within: his constant berating of his assistant Schroeder reminds one of Bob Hastings' Lt.Carpenter in similar circumstances.

Also the mercenaries themselves --(Leon Issac Kennedy plays 'Chuck'....at times one expects Tim Conway to stumble out of a doorway, followed by the inevitable explosion) a religious expert knife thrower, an elder statesman soldier, an explosives expert, a beautiful blonde who can handle herself in a fight and a ninja named Toshiro (no -- no sign of 'Fuji') Led by the Colonel, with the help of a local rebel army, they invade the fortress to rescue the Colonel's CIA operative son -- and pick up anything else that catches their fancy.

A great performance by Ernest Borgnine as the Colonel, in typical 'McHale' wiseguy fashion; his scene of him disguised as a Cuban sergeant and his ordering around of Vaughan's men and later when confronted by an army of angry soldiers is hilarious, reminding one of his 'Cousin Guisippe' twin role on 'McHale'. His scenes with the Angolan rebel leader played by Simon Sabella are beautifully performed and are unlike scenes normally found in action pictures. Also on hand is Herbert Lom as a slightly shifty informer and Oliver Reed as the head of the country's diamond security (The scene when he launches a rocket attack on Borgnine and co. -"Fire! Fire! Kill the bastards!"- is a highlight -- obviously he was looking forward to heading off to the pub when this shot was completed!)

All in all, a pleasant feel good action picture -- and most heartily recommended for all "McHale's Navy" and Ernest Borgnine fans.