Blood Harvest

I just watched this fave old horror movie of mine, Blood Harvest, in its DVD incarnation.

Do NOT buy this DVD, unless you can't get this movie elsewhere.

(And, yes, tho IMDB doesn't show it, Amazon is offering a DVD version of Blood Harvest for around $13 as of today, 9-20-03.)

This is edited in AT LEAST two key scenes. First of all, in the famous shower scene, Jill gets forced out of the shower when a "mysterious stranger" turns off the cold water. In my recorded-from-cable VHS version, an additional short scene shows Jill not only jump out, but grab a towel and flash a brief, but lovely, full frontal - and if you're familiar with the movie, you know the character Jill is especially gorgeous.

That's gone from the DVD. It shows the brief, unrevealing dash from the shower, then cut to Jill wearing a robe in the kitchen.

The scene of her friend hung upside down in the barn, stripped to lingerie, then her throat slit: on the DVD version, the portion where the girl's throat is slit, followed by a brief-but-gory squirting blood shot, is gone entirely from the DVD. Only a brief flash of the dead girl is shone.

There's more missing, but I haven't noted everything because of my extreme disappointment, and because I was too ticked not to get this review out and stop some poor soul from buying it.

Worse, the picture quality varies tremendously from the beginning (almost looks 3rd generation videotape), to almost passable high video tape quality. Nothing APPROACHING typical DVD quality, even for old films transferred.

In the credits, it mentions "International Director's Cut", or some such. What baloney. The film looks like religious censors when after it with hedge trimmers.

You've been warned.

Wait 'til late night cable shows it again, and record it on a good new tape or DVD.

This is a ripoff pressing, and I'm one of the suckers. Luckily, it was low price. But I'll continue watching my uncut, nearly as good picture (and warmer colors) VHS tape of 13 years.

This review DEFINITELY refers to the DVD version.

A young woman (Itona Salochek) comes back from college to find her parents missing and their home vandalized. She suspects the worst since her dad was in charge of foreclosing on local farms for the bank. The local sheriff is less than helpful though (he's much more interested in his softball league). Meanwhile, she finds herself the object of rather obsessive attention from her former childhood boyfriend and his oddball, mentally challenged brother (Tiny Tim) who sings creepy songs and dresses up like clown (the "Marvelous Mervo").

For some reason, slasher fans don't seem to care for this movie, perhaps because the first murder doesn't occur until some forty minutes in. They're certainly suitably bloody though with victims being tied up upside-down and their throats slit so they can be bled like pigs. There's also a lot of time for character development, which in the case of Ms. Salochek fortunately means many long, completely gratuitous, full-frontal nude scenes (She's actually not that attractive with her clothes on, but wait until she takes them off. Wow!) This is also kind of an unusual setting for a slasher movie. If John Cougar Mellencamp ever made a horror movie it might look something like this. The director, Bill Rebane, is one of these guys who can't really be called "good" or "talented", but his movies are always interesting. He once dressed a VW Bug up as a giant spider in "The Giant Spider Invasion". "The Capture of Bigfoot" was one of the most wacko of many wacko 70's bigfoot movies. "The Demons of Ludlow" was the touching story of a small Midwestern town and their demonically-possessed grand piano. This movie is pretty much the same way, especially considering the main stars were a never-to-be-seen-again Eastern European actress who can't keep her clothes on for five minutes, and Tiny Tim, a VERY odd folk singer from the late 1960's. (He's surprisingly good though).

It does have its flaws. It's pretty slow in places, and the identity of the killer is pretty obvious as there are only two or three possible suspects (and one them is the reddest herring imaginable). Still, I saw this movie back-to-back with "Nail Gun Massacre", a movie slasher-movie fans really rave about, but I liked this one far better. Recommended, no matter what anyone else says.

Got High On Life, and sat and watched the movie with Gene, we're cool now.

Plus it's got that one guy, dressed as a clown, and Bush, not sixteen stone either, the real deal.

I feel like Gene was just watching me the whole time, which was kinda creepy, at first I kinda missed the aerobics show with Denise Richards and Paul Walker (RIP!), but, this was pretty good. I'd say if your into weird stuff from the 80s, give it a shot. It might be as good as Killer Clowns From Outer Space, but then maybe not. I dunno, neither are as good as Over The Top, but, who could ever beat that?? Maybe like, the Bodyguard, or like, that really bad biker movie with Brian Bosworth, that I still watch every now and again cause it's a guilty pleasure.

'60s ukulele-playing pop-star Tiny Tim's contributions to horror: that disturbing 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips' song featured in Insidious (2010) to great effect, and this late '80s slasher, in which the falsetto singer dons clown make-up and garb to play Mervo, a crazy weirdo who may or may not be a psycho killer.

The film begins with beauty Jill (Itonia Salchek) returning to her hometown to visit her parents, who have been harangued by the locals on account of her father working at the bank that is overseeing the foreclosure of several farmsteads. When she gets home, Jill's parents are nowhere to be found and the walls are daubed with threatening graffiti; the local sheriff does little to investigate. Old childhood friend Gary (Dean West) tries to calm Jill's nerves, but she feels increasingly uneasy, especially with Gary's oddball brother Mervo hanging around and snooping on her. To make matters worse, other people in Jill's life start to disappear, including her boyfriend Scott (Peter Krause) and best friend Sarah. Is Mervo responsible?

Wisconsin-based horror auteur Bill Rebane fails to keep up the brisk pace necessary for such nonsense, and some stretches are duller than watching wheat grow, but he knows well enough to include plenty of nudity courtesy of sexy Salchek, and some decent gore to keep viewers watching, the blood-letting including some convincing throat slashings (the effects far better than I expected). Rebane also makes the most of Tiny Tim, who proves effectively unsettling throughout, singing a few creepy ditties and generally acting convincingly deranged.

It's far from a top-tier '80s slasher (but then few late'-80s slashers are), but there's just about enough fun to be had to make it of interest to fans of the genre. 5/10.

Prior to watching Director Bill Rebane's opus, BLOOD HARVEST, it helps to know a little about it's star, Tiny Tim. He might not be the main star, but he's definitely the one you'll remember, whether you want to or not.

If you are old enough to remember him during his "heyday", plucking at his ukelele and warbling his way through the 1970s talk show circuit, you already know what to expect. However, if you are too young to know who he is / was, then it is recommended that you do a bit of research on this extremely odd, some might say, annoying character.

In any case, the fact that Tiny Tim owned his own clown suit, and was ready to go after meeting Mr. Rebane for the first time, tells us all we really need to know.

BLOOD HARVEST is among Mr. Rebane's highest achievements in the annals of schlock filmmaking. It has every ingredient necessary to make it a classic.

The only characters in the film that need to be mentioned are the aforementioned Mr. Tim, and the lovely Itonia Salchek, who plays the lovely Jill (she shows a lot of her loveliness here!). Sadly, Ms. Salchek mysteriously went missing after making this, her one and only movie. People have been trying to find her for years.

The plot of BLOOD HARVEST is about a series of murders around the time that Jill's father becomes responsible for dispossessing a lot of local farmers. Jill's friends soon start disappearing, while Mervo the Clown (TT) lurks around looking and acting completely nuts.

Not a bad way to spend a late-late night of mindless movie viewing...