Murphy's Law

Our group watched this on valentine's day and I can tell you that it was a wonderful idea. We ended up writing down as many of those excellent 80's insults as possible, and our list ended up filling an entire page. You just don't see movies anymore where a major character says things like "I must have boogers for brains," or "eat it toe jam," let alone calls Bronson a "Snot Licking Donkey Fart" or a "Camel Crotch." We agonized over the seething sexual subtext throughout the film, wondering "would they or wouldn't they?" For maximum fun, appoint someone to yell "BRONSONED!!!!" whenever a heaping helping of snarling .44 Magnum super-justice appears imminent.

After the ridiculous yet entertaining 'Death Wish 3,' Charles Bronson and his fans needed to relax for a while. Fortunately enough, Bronson and director J. Lee Thompson came out in 1986 with the actioner/dark comedy 'Murphy's Law,' whose texture is almost the complete opposite of DW3. While still carrying its fair share of sex, violence, and overall bad taste, 'Murphy's Law' is a light-hearted film by comparison and makes neat changes to Bronson's on-screen persona.

In a workmanlike script by Gail Morgan Hickman (of TV's 'The Equalizer'), Bronson reprises his earlier cop roles as Jack Murphy, a Los Angeles detective who is going to pieces after breaking up with his sex-starved wife. Murphy is a heavy drinker who struggles to get out of bed in the morning; when he does manage to rise, he argues with other detectives on the force and nags his ex (Angel Topkins), who has begun stripping at a local nightclub.

To fulfill Murphy's Law - "if anything can go wrong, it will" - the justice system has released Joan Freeman (Carrie Snodgress), a psychopath whom Murphy arrested for murder ten years before. Dead-set on revenge, Freeman returns to knock off everyone linked to her case, including Murphy and his acquaintances. Sure enough, Murphy is collared for the death of his ex-wife and finds himself in lockup with Arabella McGee (Kathleen Wilhoite), a foul-mouthed young woman whom he just arrested for driving off with his car. Handcuffed to one another, he manages to take McGee hostage and escape from jail. The bulk of 'Murphy's Law' follows Murphy and McGee in their search for the real killer, ticking off an already-livid mob boss (Richard Romanus) in the process.

Like other Bronson films from the 80s, 'Murphy's Law' doesn't boast Oscar-worthy scriptwriting, acting, or technical work. The film is geared towards an average Bronson connoisseur, with Charles quietly sweeping out the trash. But 'Murphy's Law' isn't without heart: Bronson looks very human, with a healthy amount of vulnerability. In what other 80s film does Bronson get arrested, bleed, pass out, have a concussion, make a friend, and even sit down for a sandwich?

Bronson and Kathleen Wilhoite don't have "chemistry" per se, but to watch an odd friendship develop between Murphy and McGee is entertaining in itself. Although Wilhoite is given a ridiculous number of swear words to toss around ("jock itch" and "camel crotch" are two good ones), McGee still comes off as lovable, a girl you'd actually love to hang around and steal cars with. Carrie Snodgress balances the humor of Murphy and McGee with an intense performance as the killer. The supporting cast, including Robert F. Lyons, Bill Henderson, and Richard Romanus, is quite good, although Romanus is guilty of overacting in certain scenes as mob head Frank Vincenzo.

Compared to J. Lee Thompson's other films of the decade, 'Murphy's Law' is above average technically. The film was decently edited by his son Peter and Charles Simmons (although you should watch Vincenzo's robe during the hooker scene) and crisp cinematography was supplied by Alex Phillips Jr., another Thompson mainstay. Of disappointing quality is the music by Marc Donahue and Valentine McCallum, which is synthesized and very repetitive. Wilhoite sings the more pleasing end theme.

Highly recommended for action fans and a must for Bronson collectors, 'Murphy's Law' is available on DVD from MGM Home Entertainment in dual widescreen and standard format with three-language subtitles. To my surprise, the digital transfer is excellent, showing crystal-clear visuals and almost no grain. Murphy's theatrical trailer is included as an extra, which looks shopworn and has Bronson saying "Don't -mess- with Jack Murphy." Fill in the blank yourself.

After 'Murphy's Law,' Bronson and Thompson hit a dry spell with 'Death Wish 4' and 'Messenger of Death.' They ended their collaboration in 1989 with the engaging 'Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects,' Thompson's last film as a director. Bronson's wife Jill Ireland, incidentally, co-produced 'Murphy' with Pancho Kohner.

*** out of 4

while he was still making movies for cannon films which is no longer in existence, bronson took the lead in this cop thriller from the early eighties. he stars as jack murphy a worn and beaten down cop who has been framed for the murder of his wife who left him to become a stripper in a sleazy bar. while on the run from the mob as well, and trying to clear his name, he is handcuffed to a mouthy petty thief named arabella mcgee. considering it is kathleen whilhoite's first starring role in a feature (she plays arabella) she turned in a great and funny performance. she has a mouth like a trucker but has some very creative and imaginative ways of telling people off who displease her ie. snot-licking donkey fart among other things. while she is more than half of bronson's age the writers were trying to build some kind of weird sexual tension between the two and it clearly wasn't working. it came off more creepy and awkward than anything else. while bronson's later movies won't win any awards it will keep you entertained.

Mostly routine, but agreeably trashy goodness from the Charles Bronson-J. Lee Thompson- Cannon Group-1980s assembly line. The almighty Bronson plays Jack Murphy, a detective whose motto is simple: "Don't *beep* with Jack Murphy." But of course, somebody does: a vindictive, psychotic woman named Joan Freeman (Carrie Snodgress), who goes about murdering people who Jack knows and framing him for the crimes. However, Jack seizes upon an opportunity, breaking out of prison while handcuffed (shades of "The Defiant Ones") to a foul mouthed car thief, Arabella McGee (scene stealing Kathleen Wilhoite).

With this team, you expect some pretty straightforward, and effectively sleazy, entertainment. It's fairly violent as well as exploitative (ever delectable Angel Tompkins, as Jacks' ex-wife Jan, plays a stripper and shows off some of the goods). Gail Morgan Hickmans' story is diverting, throwing in a subplot involving a mobster named Frank Vincenzo (Richard Romanus) and creating a reasonable body count.

What gives this otherwise formulaic scenario a shot in the arm is the give and take between Bronson and the sexy, husky voiced Wilhoite. She's constantly firing off insults at him. While they were much more profane in the original script, Wilhoites' one-liners are still ridiculously funny. And you can see that Bronson is having some fun with this premise. It's not often that he had a full blown sidekick in one of his vehicles.

Other familiar faces that turn up include Robert F. Lyons, Bill Henderson, James Luisi, Janet MacLachlan, and Lawrence Tierney. It is somewhat novel that our vengeance crazed villain is female, and Snodgress is just fine as the kind of psycho who's *well aware* that they're a psycho.

Capped off by a finale that offers up some fairly good suspense, and a typically amusing Bronson quip.

Wilhoite gets an "introducing" credit, although she'd actually made her film debut in "Private School" three years previous. She also belts out the theme song over the end credits.

Seven out of 10.

All right folks, we all know the late Mister Bronson wasn't a good "actor" in the traditional sense. When you went to see his films, you didn't go to see him do Shakespeare or Tennessee Williams, you went to see him blow scum away and he always delivered. I think he had a higher body count then Clint Eastwood. Murphy's Law is probably the closest thing he ever did to a comedy. He and Kathleen Wilhoite made a good team as a foul mouthed street girl and a drunken framed for murder cop on the run. Wilhoite has to set some kind of a record in this film for the most swear words (the most imaginative swear words). Bronson is stony faced as usual but that was just him. I like the scene where he plays Russian Roulette on that one mobster (he literally catches him with his pants down). Jack Murphy is a burnt out drunk but you still feel for him. The only thing I couldn't figure out is why he didn't show them that bump on the back of his head after those guys killed his ex wife and tried to make it look like he did it? Lapse of logic there. The jail break and helicopter scene are the best part of the film as is the final shootout. Carrie Snodgrass is wonderful as the female psychopath and I love this exchange she has with Bronson (You go to hell!...Ladies first!). Bronson was never really able to have another hit as big as Death Wish (who could top that?). However this film is worth a look, after all in how many films does the hero throw his groceries at the bad guys and get kneed in the cojones by the heroine? Look for 1940s gangster star Lawrence Tierney in a cameo.