Blood Theatre

The most hardcore bad film buff will be surprised by the overall ineptness of this grade-z "film". Mary Woronov, a clever actress best known for her roles as Mary Bland in Eating Raoul and Miss Togar in Rock 'N' Roll High School, is by far the best thing about this tripe. This film is almost too bad even for MST3K - honestly!

The acting is mostly horrid, the plot is pretty lame, and the ending is pathetic. Yet...it does have a certain charm about it, it's almost so bad that it's kinda good. It's at times more of a comedy than a horror movie, just listen to some of the lines and sound effects. It reminded me a lot at times of the comedy/horror spoof movie "Student Bodies". I like the early electronica music that runs throughout the film, it's repetitive but effective, I would compare it as very similar to the music from the first "Slumber Party Massacre" film. I think if the killings would have been a little more realistic and unique, and that if the ending would have been a lot better and explained things this could have been a more highly regarded film. It would have also helped if the movie was about 10 minutes longer in length, 75 minutes did seem quite short watching it...

To truly appreciate this film you had to be there (acting?) or have been a crew member.

Yes, I am "Selena", and at the ripe old age of 42, have serious doubts about what we were doing/did.

It all started out to be like a "John Waters" type thing, friends acting badly in bad films. Somewhere along the line,the fun discontinued, people who were supposed to be friends didn't speak anymore, and BAD became worse.

I regret the bad image I might have projected.(Try to fit in size one gold spandex pants,)

Other than that, the film SUCKS so badly, I would not even make my mama watch it.

To my director, cast and crew I say,

"Why can't we just all get along??

It's been OVER TWENTY YEARS, PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Movie House Massacre (1984)

* (out of 4)

Three college students are asked to clean up an old movie theatre so that it can open back up. It doesn't take long for the three to regret taking the job.

This forgotten film is out there under a couple different titles including the catchy MOVIE HOUSE MASSACRE as well as the better known BLOOD THEATRE. No matter what you call it, it's doubtful that you're going to be overly entertained by this thing, which tries to put the slasher genre inside an old theatre. Obviously one will think of THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA but sadly there's just not too much going on here.

The biggest problem is that there are some really bad performances, not enough violence and what violence there is all happens off screen. For a horror movie, even by 1984 standards, this here is rather lame as it just doesn't feature enough to keep the viewer entertained. There are a couple quick shots of nudity but that's about it. The story has a few interesting ideas and a better screenplay would have helped but sadly there's just not enough going on here to make it worth watching.

I agree that Mary Woronov (Murdoch's secretary) is one of the only good things about this film. She is my favorite actress ever, every role she plays is always done so well. Her character is sly, sarcastic, clever, light hearted, funny and cunning. She really pulls this role off well and you get a good feel for what her character is all about.

The rest of the movie is pretty bad. The music is the most entertaining thing left. One of the characters has this really strange circular radio that she brings with her while she wears her tight zebra striped tank top.

One thing that was a little intriguing about the story was the idea that someone hires these three college-aged kids to spruce up an old abandoned theater. He gives them the keys and says - go at it. That would be really fun and I wish someone would give me that chance! Imagine going into an old abandoned theater with two other people and you get to decide how to decorate it, and fix it up. You have total control over the whole building. That would be so fun! Unfortunately, the characters do not think of this as an exciting adventure, they think of it as a big chore. They walk around with long faces and fight with each other the whole time. It's kind of a bummer. But it's fun to think about the possibilities that these people aren't even excited about.

The movie does a pretty good job at making you feel helpless or a little spooked out by the theater itself. However, the acting (besides Woronov.. and possibly Murdoch, the boss - just because makes a really good money hungry fake smiley business man who never has any luck) is really horrible and you just end up feeling unsatisfied. Plus, the random slapstick is a little tacky and kind of ruins the reality that the film tries to create.

Watch this if you dig Mary Woronov, funky 80's Casio keyboard style electronic beats and if you think having a giant spooky abandoned theater to yourself is at all intriguing.