Cold Dog Soup is a cult-film minus a cult; a film that should have a legion of devoted fans behind it, justifying its quirkiness and affirming its quality - even if in a "so bad, it's good" manner. Instead, the film has fallen so deeply under the radar that it doesn't even register a ping on the comedy or comedy noir scale. It is a strange, understandably forgotten film bearing some of the damnedest characters and string of events I have seen portrayed on film for quite sometime.
The film stars Frank Whaley, Christine Harnos, and Randy Quaid, three actors bearing completely different reputations and acting styles that only further make the film diverse and unique. Whaley stars as Michael, an ambitious young stockbroker who, one day, meets Sarah (Christine Harnos), a young woman with a beautiful aura around her and bright, cherry-red lipstick. Michael can't believe his luck when Sarah asks him over to dinner, where she promises him if all goes well, he'll get to see her "pressure cooker," as she puts it.
When Michael arrives at Sarah's home for dinner, he is alarmed to see her eccentric mother, and Sarah's demanding dog, who begs to be fed anchovy olives. After eating one too many olives, Sarah's dog winds up croaking on-sight, leaving the three with a serious predicament. When Sarah's mom proposes Michael bury the dog in the park, Michael can't say no, so winds up catching a ride from the offbeat and beyond strange taxi driver named Jack Cloud (Randy Quaid), who takes him on a crazy joy ride that involves trying to sell Sarah's dog's corpse to different people.
Let's start where one should when reviewing Cold Dog Soup and that is with Randy Quaid's enigmatic cab driver character. From the first time he sets foot on frame to the final time we see him, Quaid plays one of the most difficult to define people he has ever played on film. He's the kind of character that may or may not represent something bigger or something more philosophical than just a weird, deranged cab driver, but it's hard to tell since the film only occasionally wants to take him seriously. For example, his character of Jack Cloud speaks in Zen-like riddles that you're never supposed to really figure out and are just the kind of thing that tease your brain enough to get the blood flowing. In one scene, Jack asks Michael, "If time is money, and money is the root of all evil, is time the root of all evil?" before following the thought up with, "If time heals all wounds, does money wound all heels? And if time waits for no one, who does the root of all evil wait for?" These thoughtful musings on life provide for at least some offbeat, contemplative drama in the face of a film that feels like its main goal, above everything, was to be an odd, nineties film relic that few would go on to seek out. It's admirable to see an assured and diverse actor like Frank Whaley approaching the material with such conviction and a willingness to be a victim in almost every scene. Because of writer Thomas Pope's style, structuring the film in a style reminiscent of a skit-show or a collection of comedic vignettes, it feels as though Whaley and Quaid are partaking in a seriously involved improvisation session that just gets more bizarre with each turn, and the event organizers are refusing to cease the madness.
That being said, there's part of me that can't dismiss Cold Dog Soup for its asinine nature and its committed performances by two very strong actors. However, there's another part of me that grew very weary at its meager eighty-five minute runtime and found myself exhausted by its haphazardly-constructed events by the middle of the second act. There's an audience that will embrace this film and want to watch it on repeat. There's another audience who will struggle to finish it, or stop it midway through, and never want to think about it again. You can find me where you most often do on this one - in the middle.
Starring: Randy Quaid, Frank Whlaey, and Catherine Harnos. Directed by: Alan Metter.
