The Amityville Curse

When I decided to binge watch the Amityville films I hadn't seen before I feared the worst. Partially because they've hardly impressed me and partially because the IMDb ratings for them were really poor.

Starring Kim Coates this one screams milking the franchise, it doesn't look or feel like an Amityville film in fact I think it's barely even acknowledged twice maybe three times throughout.

Random visions, a person possessed and a whole lot of nothing is what you can expect from these 90 minutes of sheer unadulterated boredom.

Terrible flawed storyline, lackluster performances and very little to draw your attention for a moment let alone maintain it.

The Good:

Nope

The Bad:

The psycho music, really!?

Unforgivably boring

Was that even the Amityville house?

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

I learnt that this Amityville binge might have been a bad move

THE AMITYVILLE CURSE is a junk addition to the AMITYVILLE HORROR franchise. It's an entirely forgettable production that looks and feels like any old low budget haunted house flick as there's no real connection to the other films in this series. What we have is a very typical horror film in which a group of friends move into a dilapidated old house in order to renovate it but instead find themselves menaced and then possessed by a gang of spooks.

By all accounts this was an early straight-to-video film and that shows in its level of ineptitude. Absolutely nothing happens in this production that we haven't seen done better in other horror films and the various scare scenes are a joke. The direction is probably the worst thing about this, as he chooses to shoot most of his scenes in the dark so that the viewer is straining to see what's going on. The only familiar member of the cast for me was the lead, Kim Coates, who's gone on to appear in the likes of BLACK HAWK DOWN, but like the rest of the actors he gives an entirely undistinguished performance.

The first thing you'll notice about The Amityville Curse is that the house in which it is set isn't the iconic property that we've all come to know and fear from the earlier films. And if they can't be bothered to even get that right, what hope is there?

Sure enough, The Amityville Curse is a truly lame addition to the franchise, the terrible script attempting to combine the supernatural with psycho killer shenanigans, with characters that are hard to give a damn about.

A group of obnoxious adults buy the infamous Amityville house with the intention of renovating it and then selling it, doubling their investment. Ignoring most of what has occurred in the previous movies (there's mention of Sonny Montelli's murder spree from part II, but no sign of the house being built over a gateway to Hell), this film sees the friends discovering that the building has been used to store a confession booth in which a priest was murdered. Random spooky stuff happens, there's a large tarantula in the house (reason enough to leave the place pronto), and the priest's killer reveals himself at the end, engaging in a spot of clichéd stalk and slash.

3/10.

I had to track this film down for four years in the UK, simply every video store and rental company refused to stock it. But was it worth it?

The Amityville Curse is based around Hans Holtzer's impressive book which is a worthy competitor to Jay Ansons original work. Pretty much nothing in this film related to anything in the book which makes you wonder why they even bothered to use the Amityville name at all. I am quite sure this was for profitable reasons since the series has been so popular, despite some horrendously awful movies. The Amityville Curse is just another of these.

The main focus of this movie centers around a murdered priest in a confession-booth. After getting blown away with a pistol we are taken to the `Amityville house' – which by the way, looks nothing like it. A group of people buy it from the market at next to nothing, with no electricity which makes for some atmospheric lighting - at least they got this right. Marvin (Anthony Dean Rubes), is an Uncle Buck-style goof who has to carry the rest of the incompetent co-stars throughout ninety minutes of the usual Amityville outing, which includes such supernatural events as dogs barking and a wine glass being shattered. So chilling…

As is traditional in an Amityville film a psychic just happens to be among the group to make the rest of the cast paranoid. Debbie (Dawna Wightman) tries way too hard and ends up looking pretentious and embarrassing in the process. I wasn't surprised to hear this was the only film she starred in. The rest of the cast aren't even worth a mention apart from the bum in the bar who looks dead for ten minutes and then spouts; `You know something Mr, you don't know s***'. A lot of this time The Amityville Curse tries to be a comedy and has some really confusing characters. Mrs Moriarty, the freak with the glass eye is a third-rate Tangina from the Poltergeist films who thankfully gets demonised before long. One cannot help but cheer on the demons when it's her time. However in comic-book style she miraculously knocked over a video camera moments before so her death is witnessed and the killer is exposed – as one of the members of the house.

Later it is uncovered that the confession-booth, along with other holy items have been hidden in the basement. Quite how they got there is something which is never explained. I can only assume the demons come packaged with all the religious items, or something – why would they be present in a basement of the supposed Amityville house with crosses, holy water, and a confession booth? Would this not deter them? This and many other events are never explained to us, which gives you an idea of how great the writers are.

So another tradition lives as the possessed confession-booth killer becomes demonised for no other reason but to end the film, and then attempts to devour his former friends. Unfortunately the demons seem to be having an off-day and are exorcised from the house after a few dainty love-taps.

Not a very impressive film and certainly not worth hunting down. Too much talking and unnecessary camera-work makes the ninety minutes drag. Also I would like to know what the BBFC are playing at giving this an 18 certificate since nothing in this film surpassed anything a 12 movie does today. Still we are waiting for the next sequel and whether it is going to require any intelligence to watch. 2/5

My review was written in May 1990 after watching the movie on Vidmark video cassette.

"The Amityville Curse", the fifth film about the Long Island spook house, is a rather tame home video entry made in Canada.

Based on Hans Holzer's book rather than the Jay Anson novel, pic is set 12 years after the murder of a priest at David Stein's family and friends are arriving at the haunted house.

Poltergeist phenomena begin occurring with increasing frequency, driving worrywart Dawna Wrightman to distraction. At the climax, Kim Coates goes nuts and terrorizes Wrightman as if possessed. Ending is perfunctory.

Lacking good effects, pic is of little interest to genre fans. Its best chance is as a time-killer in a tv syndication package.