Sinbad of the Seven Seas

One of my favorite comedies, although it's not supposed to be one. So incredibly bad, it's amazing! Some of the stupidest dialogue ever, and some ridiculous fight scenes. Lou Ferrigno is a joy to watch, especially his hilarious facial expressions. Watch this movie with a bunch of friends, but do not drink milk while doing so, otherwise it'll come spewing out of your nose!

Made in Spain with no sound equipment under a director who rewrote it as he filmed it, shelved for years due to being unusable, then one day roughly edited, badly dubbed, and poorly scored in an attempt to get something saleable and here we are.

Ever seen Sinbad portrayed as a heavily muscled superman in sparkly purple disco tights? Ever seen Jaffar portrayed as a cackling English villain in cahoots with a busty blonde in a scandalous leather one piece? Well now you can!

There's monsters, fighting, sexy ladies, animated effects, leather clad henchmen, slo-mo running, a 'Poochie the Dwarf' comic-relief who's neither funny nor a dwarf then disappears midway through the movie, more fighting, constant narration explaining what's going on, laughably poor music, magical zombie horses, and that guy off the hulk, I mean what's not to like, people!?

An awesomely ripped Lou Ferrigno headlines here as the eponymous hero in this visually lavish fantasy flick brought to us by the ever reliable Enzo G.Castellari.

Sinbad's mission is to brave numerous perils in order to rescue a beautiful princess from the clutches of an evil wizard named Jaffar who has taken over the kingdom of Basra by dark magical means.

Also along for the adventure are Sinbad's crew who are comprised of a mighty viking, a philosophical samurai warrior, a dashing prince who is betrothed to the captive princess, a bald chef and a dwarf named Poochi(!) Along the way this brave band of heroes find themselves up against undead armies, rock monsters, seductive Amazonians and a slimy ogre plus in the finale, big Lou comes up against his own clone!!!

Approach this in the right frame of mind and you should have a good time, after all it's entirely harmless fun in much the same vein as films such as Labyrinth etc.

Certainly the film does have far higher production values than most Italian films of the eighties with some beautifully sumptuous sets and costumes on display throughout. Added to this there's a good assemble of B-Movie stars; Big Lou, Romano Puppo (sadly relegated to a very minor role) and of course the ever wonderful John Steiner who is clearly having a ball with his material here as the delightfully hissable Jaffar.

Unfortunately, there are a number of factors which do seriously drag the film down however. For instance, a few of the characters (most notably Lou) have been entirely overdubbed with irritating voice overs - quite why this was the case, I have no idea.

By far the most damning criticism I have for the film though is the intrusive and annoying narrative that accompanies (and incessantly interjects upon!) the proceedings throughout. You see, the basis for the film is that everything taking place on screen is actually a bedtime story being read to a little girl by her mother. And wouldn't you know it - the mother's voice is yet another infuriating overdub!!!

Still, to be fair and looking past these failings, this is actually a fairly enjoyable watch. If you like a spot of swashbuckling fantasy and enjoy films such as The Princess Bride and the aforementioned Labyrinth then this may well be right up your street.

An incredibly fun, incredibly bad movie. Definitely recommended for any fans of bad cinema, this movie has it all. Plastic props, horrendous dialogue, plot holes galore, sophomoric special effects. Lou Ferrigno (Hulk!) throws his sword away and wrestles with bad guys, in sloooooow motion action sequences that will have you yawning in anticipation. Hats off to John Steiner as the EVIL Jaffar-his hammy overacting steals every scene he's in. Listen especially for the scene where he's discussing his plans with the princess in the tower. Just when you think he's done, he lets out this uproarious "Ha!" that's so random, you won't know what hit you! I was laughing for minutes-then for hours afterward, just from remembering this one line. Definitely one of the highlights of modern cinema-see this movie! 2/10, both points for the awesome performance of Jaffar.

I have not seen such BAD acting ever before in my life and that includes high school production plays! This movie breaks all records in casting such a number of bad actors in one film. The plot was swiss cheese holey. The budget clearly went mostly in costumes and location, but not one centavo was spent on hiring a writer or an acting coach and the director of this turkey must have been indisposed! Lou Ferrigno tried to do his best impersonation of Arnold Schwarzenegger style one-liners but it quickly became apparent why he had no coherent lines in his series The Hulk! The character Jaffar was even worse, second only to the Viking and Greek cook and the mongoloid looking drawf side-kick. This movie was so bad, that it was a prime target for the cancelled show Mystery Science Theater. Too bad it was passed over. Overall, I feel privileged to have viewed this movie because I laughed repeatedly at how horrendous it was! A must see if equipped with a bottle of good chardonnay!