Savage Beach

Not a bad film, Im sadly quite a fan of Andy Sidaris so i thought this was Ok. When i say this, I dont mean you wanna go comparing to Citizen Kane or something. But if you like; poor acting (to point where its funny), top heavy women, and script writing of an all together different calliber, then this is for you. The highlight for me (other than the naked beach scene) was the japenese wild mans origin story. Only let down - no Julie Strain!!

"Savage Beach" is probably one of Andy Sidaris' most technically accomplished films. He achieves some beautiful color contrasts and other cinematographic effects here (right from the opening scene, which has a samurai silhouetted against an orange sky). There is perhaps a bit too much exposition in the first half, but the movie really comes alive as soon as Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton set foot on the "deserted" island. They both look great in their tank tops and they are (expectedly) in tip-top physical shape. As another reviewer noted, watching them wander around the humid island and wave their guns is a pleasure in itself. And at the end, there is even a dramatic scene! Trivia note: 7 years before Pamela Anderson made the "Don't call me babe" line famous in "Barb Wire", Dona Speir had already said "Don't ever call me a bimbo again" to John Aprea in this film - and I, for one, agree with her! (**1/2)

"Savage Beach" has the most unusual story of the Lethal Ladies series. Instead of an over-equipped investigation with a plan, this is more like an accidental adventure. No Las Vegas night clubs or expensive sports-cars - "Savage Beach" plays on a lonely island where a gold treasure was lost in WW II, yet still guarded by an isolated Japanese soldier. Not a new story (I remember "Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure", 1981), but with Sidaris' attention grabbing techniques (from explosions to boobs) it works great. Our heroines, the two pilots Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (H.M. Carlton), make an emergency landing on that island after a storm (another rarity: bad weather in a Sidaris movie). More and more sinister characters arrive to make the island unsafe. Al Leong (who later played the helicopter pilot in "Hard Hunted") gets a good role as a tough bad guy. A situation that stuck to my mind is when the Leatherface samurai frees Taryn and explains later: "I can't kill those eyes again" - what a moment of poetry, folks! Oh, and would you believe a bloke who calls Donna "bimbo" survives the next few seconds? This is the 4th out of 12 Sidaris movies I reviewed (in chronological order), and one should note that after 3 successful pictures which he had financed basically from his personal money, Sidaris was offered a deal about 5 more which kept the Lethal Ladies series going. "Savage Beach" surely was an impressive start for this new... uh... pentalogy!

Savage Beach is hardly a great departure for director Andy Sidaris, yet another cheezy adventure featuring his stock-in-trade heavily armed, big breasted babes, heroic hunks and despicable bad guys; but although it's still a long way from a work of art, this is perhaps the most enjoyable out of the Sidaris films I've seen so far thanks to a story-line in which a more straightforward adventure takes precedence over the series' usual convoluted espionage nonsense.

The plot sees Taryn and Donna (Hope Marie Carlton and Dona Speir), Molokai's sexiest cargo pilot/drug enforcement agents, take a break from fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains to deliver some desperately needed medical supplies to a remote island hospital. On their way home from the drop, the girls run into a violent storm and wind up crashing on a supposedly uninhabited island where they do some naked swimming, construct a hut out of palm leaves, encounter an aged WWII Japanese soldier (sporting the world's worst old-age make-up), and somehow still wind up fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains who just happen to be on the island searching for a horde of gold.

In addition to endless shots of the super-buff Carlton and Speir parading around in tight white vests, oh-so-short-shorts and cowboy boots (even when engaging in bouts of unconvincing combat), Savage Beach also offers several other well-endowed babes who are equally obliging when it comes to showing us their wares, a fair few squibtastic bullet hits, some fun kung fu fight scenes, the occasional spot of nookie, plus cult actor Al Leong who, as one of the main goons, shows why he rarely gets given speaking parts.

I rate this trashy nonsense a reasonable 5.5 out of 10—my highest score yet for a Sidaris film—but it's still not good enough for me to warrant rounding it up to 6. Maybe next time, Andy... maybe next time.

In 1989 the gals in this picture looked fantastic, and their outfits were out of this world. Dona Speir,(Donna),"Fit to Kill",'93, played a very hot looking gal who showed plenty of her flesh and especially her cleavage. Hope Marie,(Taryn),"Nactropolis",94, worked together with Donna and also showed a great deal of her body parts. These two gals wind up in forgotten Hawaiian isles where WW II was fought with the Japs and there still remained a single person who was still fighting the world and had regrets over having killed American's during the war. Donna and Hope are faced with all kinds of men in the jungle, and fighting hand to hand combat with big and small men who are drawn to these women like a magnet. The acting was horrible, and if it was not for the two women in this picture, my vote would have been ZERO !