Savage Beach

Savage Beach is hardly a great departure for director Andy Sidaris, yet another cheezy adventure featuring his stock-in-trade heavily armed, big breasted babes, heroic hunks and despicable bad guys; but although it's still a long way from a work of art, this is perhaps the most enjoyable out of the Sidaris films I've seen so far thanks to a story-line in which a more straightforward adventure takes precedence over the series' usual convoluted espionage nonsense.

The plot sees Taryn and Donna (Hope Marie Carlton and Dona Speir), Molokai's sexiest cargo pilot/drug enforcement agents, take a break from fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains to deliver some desperately needed medical supplies to a remote island hospital. On their way home from the drop, the girls run into a violent storm and wind up crashing on a supposedly uninhabited island where they do some naked swimming, construct a hut out of palm leaves, encounter an aged WWII Japanese soldier (sporting the world's worst old-age make-up), and somehow still wind up fighting desperate, evil, power-hungry villains who just happen to be on the island searching for a horde of gold.

In addition to endless shots of the super-buff Carlton and Speir parading around in tight white vests, oh-so-short-shorts and cowboy boots (even when engaging in bouts of unconvincing combat), Savage Beach also offers several other well-endowed babes who are equally obliging when it comes to showing us their wares, a fair few squibtastic bullet hits, some fun kung fu fight scenes, the occasional spot of nookie, plus cult actor Al Leong who, as one of the main goons, shows why he rarely gets given speaking parts.

I rate this trashy nonsense a reasonable 5.5 out of 10—my highest score yet for a Sidaris film—but it's still not good enough for me to warrant rounding it up to 6. Maybe next time, Andy... maybe next time.

I don't want to call writer/director Andy Sidaris a genius but that guy knew what he was doing and he did it well. He took dreamy gals and put them in beautiful locations and made movie magic. "Savage Beach" is another solid entry in his filmography. Of course, I would have never been able to watch Sedaris' movies with my mother. But if I'm looking for a movie with my friends, "Savage Beach" is a perfect choice. Honorable mention: all of the girls.

"Savage Beach" has the most unusual story of the Lethal Ladies series. Instead of an over-equipped investigation with a plan, this is more like an accidental adventure. No Las Vegas night clubs or expensive sports-cars - "Savage Beach" plays on a lonely island where a gold treasure was lost in WW II, yet still guarded by an isolated Japanese soldier. Not a new story (I remember "Who Finds a Friend Finds a Treasure", 1981), but with Sidaris' attention grabbing techniques (from explosions to boobs) it works great. Our heroines, the two pilots Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (H.M. Carlton), make an emergency landing on that island after a storm (another rarity: bad weather in a Sidaris movie). More and more sinister characters arrive to make the island unsafe. Al Leong (who later played the helicopter pilot in "Hard Hunted") gets a good role as a tough bad guy. A situation that stuck to my mind is when the Leatherface samurai frees Taryn and explains later: "I can't kill those eyes again" - what a moment of poetry, folks! Oh, and would you believe a bloke who calls Donna "bimbo" survives the next few seconds? This is the 4th out of 12 Sidaris movies I reviewed (in chronological order), and one should note that after 3 successful pictures which he had financed basically from his personal money, Sidaris was offered a deal about 5 more which kept the Lethal Ladies series going. "Savage Beach" surely was an impressive start for this new... uh... pentalogy!

A typical entry in the Sidaris filmography, Savage Beach features the usual assortment of well-endowed women, goofy villains, and exotic locations, and is simple minded if occasionally violent fun. The highlight of this one is Michael Mikasa's appearance as a World War II Japanese soldier stranded on a remote island--in order to age him, the makeup department seems to have submerged his head in a bowl of collodion. It's not a pretty sight.

My review was written in October 1989 after watching the movie at a Times Square screening room.

"Savage Beach" is an entertaining action pic, the third followup film to Andy Sidaris' "Malibu Express". Newest effort should do modestly well in regional theatrical release commencing October 13 in Gotham, ahead of the guaranteed video/cable market.

Lovely blonde thesps Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton return for the third time (following "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger") in their lead roles as government drug enforcement agents who moonlight as air cargo haulers. Returning home from an emergency serum delivery to ailing kiddies on a remote island, they crash land on Knox Island, 600 miles from their Molokai homebase.

Coincidentally, numerous opposing forces are converging on the island in search of a horde of gold stolen by the Japanese from the Philippines and originally lost in 1943 when its transport ship sunk. Among these are U. S. army & navy types, led by John Aprea, a secret CIA infiltrator (Burce Penhall), a pair of Japanese mercenaries plus two communist insurgents from the Philippines (Rorigo Obregon and Teri Weigel).

There is a surprisingly serious subplot, involving a Japanese warrior (Michael Mikasa) still left on the island 46 years later guarding the gold but guilt ridden for having killed defenseless U. S. navy men who washed up on the island. He takes a liking to Carlton and protects her in the ensuing action.

Filmmaker Andy Sidaris ensures that most of the action is campy fun with his oddball dialog and predilection for having the female cast strip in the least likely situations. For equal time to appease women in the audience there is a new, handsome leading man, Michael Shane as Shane Abiliene, nominal leader of the good guys.

Speir is an impressively tough heroine, while Carlton is allowed to show her soft side via the platonic romance with warrior Mikasa. Unfortunately, the wrinkly makeup converting young Mikasa into an ancient WW II vet is unconvincing.

Odd touch has all of the sex scenes devoted to the heavies, as Obregon and smoldering brunette Weigel discuss the "revolution" while bedding down.

Howard Wexler' lensing makes for a colorful package and producer Arlene Sidaris gets a lot of production value on screen within a modest budget. Action fans who favor a tongue-in-cheek approach will enjoy this one.