Savage Beach

My review was written in October 1989 after watching the movie at a Times Square screening room.

"Savage Beach" is an entertaining action pic, the third followup film to Andy Sidaris' "Malibu Express". Newest effort should do modestly well in regional theatrical release commencing October 13 in Gotham, ahead of the guaranteed video/cable market.

Lovely blonde thesps Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton return for the third time (following "Hard Ticket to Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger") in their lead roles as government drug enforcement agents who moonlight as air cargo haulers. Returning home from an emergency serum delivery to ailing kiddies on a remote island, they crash land on Knox Island, 600 miles from their Molokai homebase.

Coincidentally, numerous opposing forces are converging on the island in search of a horde of gold stolen by the Japanese from the Philippines and originally lost in 1943 when its transport ship sunk. Among these are U. S. army & navy types, led by John Aprea, a secret CIA infiltrator (Burce Penhall), a pair of Japanese mercenaries plus two communist insurgents from the Philippines (Rorigo Obregon and Teri Weigel).

There is a surprisingly serious subplot, involving a Japanese warrior (Michael Mikasa) still left on the island 46 years later guarding the gold but guilt ridden for having killed defenseless U. S. navy men who washed up on the island. He takes a liking to Carlton and protects her in the ensuing action.

Filmmaker Andy Sidaris ensures that most of the action is campy fun with his oddball dialog and predilection for having the female cast strip in the least likely situations. For equal time to appease women in the audience there is a new, handsome leading man, Michael Shane as Shane Abiliene, nominal leader of the good guys.

Speir is an impressively tough heroine, while Carlton is allowed to show her soft side via the platonic romance with warrior Mikasa. Unfortunately, the wrinkly makeup converting young Mikasa into an ancient WW II vet is unconvincing.

Odd touch has all of the sex scenes devoted to the heavies, as Obregon and smoldering brunette Weigel discuss the "revolution" while bedding down.

Howard Wexler' lensing makes for a colorful package and producer Arlene Sidaris gets a lot of production value on screen within a modest budget. Action fans who favor a tongue-in-cheek approach will enjoy this one.

A typical entry in the Sidaris filmography, Savage Beach features the usual assortment of well-endowed women, goofy villains, and exotic locations, and is simple minded if occasionally violent fun. The highlight of this one is Michael Mikasa's appearance as a World War II Japanese soldier stranded on a remote island--in order to age him, the makeup department seems to have submerged his head in a bowl of collodion. It's not a pretty sight.

In 1989 the gals in this picture looked fantastic, and their outfits were out of this world. Dona Speir,(Donna),"Fit to Kill",'93, played a very hot looking gal who showed plenty of her flesh and especially her cleavage. Hope Marie,(Taryn),"Nactropolis",94, worked together with Donna and also showed a great deal of her body parts. These two gals wind up in forgotten Hawaiian isles where WW II was fought with the Japs and there still remained a single person who was still fighting the world and had regrets over having killed American's during the war. Donna and Hope are faced with all kinds of men in the jungle, and fighting hand to hand combat with big and small men who are drawn to these women like a magnet. The acting was horrible, and if it was not for the two women in this picture, my vote would have been ZERO !

Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) are back! After busting some cocaine dealers (who smuggle their stock in pineapples), our busty federal agent duo find themselves delivering a medical serum to an island for Shane Abilene (Michael J. Shane). Yes, another Abilene! Anyway, a storm causes the plane to mess up and they get way off course before landing on a deserted island. They get company quick though when a group shows up to locate some lost Japanese gold. And, of course, there is also some stranded Japanese World War II vet still living on the island. No sure why, but I enjoyed this much more than previous entry PICASSO TRIGGER (1988). Maybe because it was a bit more focused in the plot department, even though it is convoluted as hell. My mind was also reeling as this was my first "wait, who is this guy again" experience with director Andy Sidaris' roving band of players as Rodrigo Obregon is back for a third time as a new villain. Sidaris also capitalized on the Asian influence and cast James Lew and Al Leong is supporting roles. The end is the best with one of the funniest explanations/flashbacks from the Japanese warrior (who has terrible age make up). Naturally, the film is packed with nudity and Sidaris should get credit for what I believe is the world's most gratuitous airplane changing scene. Sadly, this marked the end of the road for Carlton in Sidaris-land and I'm genuinely sad to see the team of Donna and Taryn break up.

"Savage Beach" is probably one of Andy Sidaris' most technically accomplished films. He achieves some beautiful color contrasts and other cinematographic effects here (right from the opening scene, which has a samurai silhouetted against an orange sky). There is perhaps a bit too much exposition in the first half, but the movie really comes alive as soon as Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton set foot on the "deserted" island. They both look great in their tank tops and they are (expectedly) in tip-top physical shape. As another reviewer noted, watching them wander around the humid island and wave their guns is a pleasure in itself. And at the end, there is even a dramatic scene! Trivia note: 7 years before Pamela Anderson made the "Don't call me babe" line famous in "Barb Wire", Dona Speir had already said "Don't ever call me a bimbo again" to John Aprea in this film - and I, for one, agree with her! (**1/2)