Offerings

Pity poor young Johnny and his miserable existence. His abusive, gap-tooth grinding mother ridicules him and gleefully ashes in his scrambled eggs. Dad isn't around and the neighborhood banana bike brigade teases him because he's too shy to talk. What's worse, he becomes disfigured and comatose after being knocked into a well by his prepubescent peers. After spending years in a coma, he awakens, escapes and heads home for revenge, leaving body part "offerings" from his victims to the one girl who was his childhood friend (Loretta Leigh Bowman).

Entertainment value is not hard to find in a cheap, stupid regional concoction like this. You'll be amazed by the bizarre accents mixing twang, valley talk and congested stoner slang spoken to monotone perfection by teenage Oklahoma trailer trash! Or laugh at the brain dead cops on the case, who might remind you of Barney Fife on an especially bad day and seem to have nothing better to do than chew out little boys for hanging out in condemned buildings looking at spank magazines. Or count the endless clichés and head to toe fashion no-nos (including the lovely star tie and stonewashed jean jacket ensemble). Or decide which is more derivative of HALLOWEEN - the characters, plot or music score. And how bout that mysterious pizza with large chunks of a sausage-like topping? This is actually one of the most unintentionally funny ripoffs from the 80s, so it's worth a look if you're a schlock fan.

Score: 3 out of 10.

Offerings is of course a very blatant ripoff of the core idea of John Carpenter's classic Halloween, almost scene by scene at times. However, it is not without some merit when held on it's own accord.

It's major shortcoming falls with some of the acting performances. Some are really great while others are just really amateurish. This is probably due to the fact that the movie was made in Oklahoma, I think, somewhere in the Midwest anyways. There are two performances in the movie that really stand out as memorable. The cemetery caretaker (or gravedigger was it?) is the first one. A really funny offbeat performance that is meant to be funny and succeeds, and the actor is only in a scene for a minute or less. The 2nd performance was the Deputy Sheriff, which was overacted to the point that it worked perfectly that way. Again, it was a very small performance that lasted only a minute or so. The guy who played the Sheriff also deserves an honorable mention.

Offerings is a pretty fun slasher movie to watch just for a good laugh. It's not really what most people would call scary, but I like it just for the cheese factor.

For those interested, Offerings is now available on a budget DVD from Madacy Entertainment. Very professionally done, it even includes animated menus and the theatrical trailer...wooooo!

You'll know right from the very first minutes of Offerings that the director is a huge Halloween fan. The basic story of a little boy returning home after a stay in a mental hospital and terrorizing young women is Halloween to a T. The music is so similar to John Carpenter's seminal classic that one wonders how the filmmakers of Offerings weren't sued.

There isn't really a scary or suspenseful bone in Offerings' body, but there's tons of downhome charm, quirky performances, and entertaining set pieces to keep it from being an unwatchable rip off. All the girls seem to have some dazed expression on their face for most of the film and a few of them speak in a strange southern meets valley girl accent that's a real hoot.

A few of the murder scenes are fairly well staged and done with a bit of panache as well.

This one won't reinvent the wheel, but it's a fun time killer.

Much of this movie from a genre perspective is slow and un-propelled. The killer is utterly dull as well. But there are incidental sections of it that are worthwhile. There are some fun perverse little moments such as a female feeding her friend dog food or a pizza with human meat. Also a section with the two females watching a horror movie by themselves and commenting on how the female in the movie acts. It predates Scream (1996) and indeed the movie more or less devolves into a parody of itself. There is also a lot of black humour in the dialogue and some of the killings are creative. If the pace had been different this could have been a lot more fun and memorable. Note: the trailer appears to have shots of an alternate version of the last killing.

"Offerings" by Christopher Reynolds tells the story of mute serial killer John Radley who after killing nurse and escaping from mental asylum stalk and kill all those that tormented him when he was a kid.His bloody rampage is obviously Michael Myers influenced.John is no ordinary killer for example he killed and ate his own sadistic mother.He has only one friend from childhood:blonde girl named Gretchen."Offerings" is a blatant and unapologetic "Halloween" rip-off.Even its musical score clearly reminds John Carpenter's famous music.Black humor sprinkled death scenes are quite inventive but mostly goreless.Still fans of cheesy slasher movies will enjoy this low-budget horror.6 body parts out of 10.