Monster High

Well, I attained a copy of this movie off Ebay, remembering watching it from the good ole USA Up All Night days...

True campy hiliarity! This movie is stupid, funny, hilarious, and a down right good time to watch. Nudity, blood, monsters, aliens, nerds, horny teens, drugs, kill pot plants, the most hiliarious names every given to characters....there is so much wrapped into this movie, it seems it could explode from so much camp.

It is sad to see this is the only movie the Director ever made...He truly had an Eye for Horror/comedy...I want a DVD release of this film...It should be kept underground...Mainstream this bad-boy...I want deleted scenes, Commentary, etc....I love this movie..

9 out of 10

My review was written in February 1990 after watching the movie on RCA/Columbia video cassette.

This hokey horror spoof was made in 1988 but barely passes muster as a belated direct-to-video release.

Loaded down with voice-over narration and other clumsy devices, pic purports to mock the teen slasher genre but is as cliched as its forerunners.

Dumb cover story has a Mr. Armageddon from Outer Space visiting Earth (at Montgomery Sterling High School in L. A.)in pursuit of two jerks Dume and Glume from the planet Polyester who have stolen a doomsday device (that looks like a basketball).

Various monsters show up pointlessly and kill coeds until a basketball game of students versus monsters is organized. The kids win and stave off destruction for another thousand years.

Film's bad puns and silly attempts at horror are hard to take. Nondescript cast goes through the motions with the young women undoing their louses with clockwork regularity.

Overreliance on voice-over smacks of post-production tampering.

I found this movie very amusing, it's use of off-beat and cheesy humor is absolutely wonderful! I thought the abstract storyline was very well put together, and is not your typical 80's high school movie. It has all things that make a great movie, blood and gore (check out the excellent microwave scene!), nudity, campy humor, and it even has a killer pot plant! I highly recommend this movie to anyone. If you ever see it in your local video store, check it out, it rocks!

I'd say that this is the worst movie I've ever seen, but I really have seen 3 or 4 worse movies.

That being said, this movie is still crap.

I'd go into detail, but this movie does not even deserve two minutes of your time (much less the hour and a half of your life that you will never get back).

Just... don't see it. Ever.

My friends and I rented this from Blockbuster, and ended up having to pay for it because when it was over we took the tape outside and shot it.

Two bald aliens arrive on Earth with the Doomsday Device, something they have stolen from their own alien planet, much to the behest of the Monster-in-Charge. They unwittingly unleash Mr. Armageddon (David Marriott) upon an all-American high school, and soon this long- fingernailed-bringer-of-doom is busy a-rapin', a-killin', and basically a-f****n' with every kid in the school. Dorky loner Norm (Dean Iandoli) is too busy lusting after foreign exchange student Candice Cane (get it - played by Diana Frank) to notice the arrival of horny gargoyle statues, the living dead, and deadly giant marijuana plants. But when he does, he strikes a deal with Armageddon to have basketball game to end all games, and possibly the world.

I'm sure you can gather from the description that this isn't a film to take too seriously. It's a very 80's high school horror/sex flick that is very aware of what it's target audience wants - blood, tits, and goofy humour. And it delivers all that in abundance. It has everything a shlock hound could want. Where else can you find a monster with a computer for a head? Or a teen that gets eaten by his shoes? Or alien twins that were failed rappers on their own planet? Probably nowhere. This is of course an awful film. But where it lacks in subtlety and intelligence, it makes up for in sheer volume and creativity.

The edits come thick and fast. The film cuts back and forth between different characters and locations as if it were filmed by a giddy teenager. This approach certainly keeps the film fun and interesting, which is undoubtedly the sole aim of the film. Fans of Troma will love it, as will fans of 80's teen sex flicks such as Porky's and zero-taste gross-out comedies a la Animal House. Special mention must go to the creation of Mr. Armageddon, who dons a crap cape and a long pinky fingernail, and has a voice which is deeper than Barry White. Clearly actor David Marriott, who had a short career starring in B-movie action films, is having a great time, as did I watching him. I feel guilty that I liked this film, as it is indeed awful.