Lobster Man from Mars

I started this thinking it would be a 1950s "man in a suit" horror movie. I failed to notice the creation date. But, it's running now, so why not. There are many little points where you will find something interesting. The reporter who does Rod Serling's voice is spot on. You have to watch every second. Something will happen.

It is not hilarious. It is subtle, for the most part. There are some "huh?" moments, too. Where 1 + 1 does not add up to 2. They are surely intentional. But sometimes the total is 115 and you just look in disbelief.

It is meant to be a spoof and it succeeds.

The scene where they say "It's really dark in that cave" then walk right in, then the guy leaves the girl inside the cave and goes out for his camera is a hoot. Right out of the 1950s.

Enjoy the schlock! The whole thing is stupid and enjoyable. No spoilers here. I don't know the ending yet. Probably absurd just like the rest of this movie. Will see, soon.

A film within a film; a producer needing a tax write-off agrees to screen and buy the rights to a student film called LOBSTER MAN FROM MARS. Most the of the film spent viewing the film which about an alien lobster man wrecking havoc on Earth. The producer finds the film so shoddy that he agrees to buy it in order to lose money so he doesn't owe the IRS so much money. The film is obviously inspired by the producers. The film is loaded with many jokes that only buffs of horror and science fiction films would get. For example: the colonel is named "Ankrum", after Morris Ankrum who played military men and other authority figures in dozens of 1950's science fiction and horror films. The film is loaded with gags like these that most viewers probably would not get. I would mention any more as I would not want to spoil it for people who are in the know.

So what have we got here with this "Lobster Man From Mars" (1989) movie? Think "The Producers" (1968) meets "Plan 9 From Outer Space" (1959). If you don't get parody you should give this one a wide berth. If you want really "clever" parody you should probably skip it as well. If you thought Buster Crabbe's Flash Gordon stuff was fun because it was so "unintentionally" hokey you might want to go into avoidance mode along with the others.

The hokey elements in "Lobster Man From Mars" are anything but unintentional, it wants your attention like a one-trick pony mad for a carrot. This lack of subtlety would pretty much doom the thing had it not already expired from a case of terminally lame screen writing.

The root of the problem is that they were given too much money to make this thing. Much like the fake disaster movie playing in the background of "Drive-In", it utilizes a film within a film device; only this time a Hollywood executive is screening what is supposed to be a bad "student" film. The saving grace of bad student films is their unity of weak writing, poor production values, and unpolished acting. But the student film being viewed in "Lobster Man From Mars" has some recognizable cast members and enough money for semi- authentic production design; which does not work to its benefit.

Here's the premise: a Hollywood studio needs a really bad film to use as a tax write-off. They screen a high school kid's science fiction film, which while really bad would be another "Citizen Kane" compared to any bad student film. In the film within the film, Mars is running out of air and sends the "dreaded" Lobster Man to earth where he and a hairy sidekick begin randomly zapping people with a ray gun. The too competent cast includes Patrick Macnee (playing a British scientist) and Deborah Foreman looking (as the film moves along) like she is gradually deciding in favor of retiring from acting (which she actually did-was it coincidence or was her decision made midway through the production of this turkey?).

The problem is that there is very little in the movie that is particularly funny, intentional or unintentional. The only bit that works repeatedly involves the zany space bats who fly around cackling manically. And there is one good line by Tommy Sledge, as a film noir parody private detective who inspects the giant lobster tracks leading away from the site of an explosion and then says: "It means that either he escaped, or he walked backwards from the horizon to commit suicide in this bonfire".

If you want to see this stuff done right, cleverly written and with a student film level of production design, check out Larry Blamire's "The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra" (2001). 90 minutes of inspired spoofing.

Then again, what do I know? I'm only a child.

It took two weeks to write and ten years to finish. In 1977 writer Bob Greenberg and I were offered $50,000 to make a science fiction movie. We thought that instead of trying to hide the low budget, we would make it a central theme using the gimmick of a film-within-a-film.

Such was the genesis of Lobster Man From Mars. We wrote the screenplay in two weeks, but the money to shoot the movie never appeared. The project was set aside until the tragic demise of Bob Greenberg in an auto accident. I was determined to get Bob's name on the screen as a writer, and thanks to the efforts of producer Steven Greene, this became a reality.

Production began during the summer of 1988 --- a mere 10 years after writing the screenplay --- and culminated with the world premiere at the Sundance Film Festival six months later. The version shown at the festival was a 95 minute "first cut", later revised to 81 minutes, then released to theaters, television and home video in the shorter format.

The special director's edition DVD is one that has never been seen by the public, having only existed on a computer editing program! I've taken some of the better moments from the long version and have integrated them with the shorter version. And now, thanks to the modern miracle of computer editing, I've added new low-tech, even cheaper looking special effects, never before possible. Once again, the Lobster Man lives!

First of all, I understand what parody is, and I realize that this movie is supposed to be bad, as it's poking fun of bad 1950s science fiction movies. My rating is not based on the acting, special effects, or dialogue, which, as I said, are meant to be bad. Unfortunately, I just didn't think this was particularly funny! For one thing, the whole film-in-a-film conceit seemed to be weakly developed. I wasn't quite sure why they even bothered doing this, except to highlight that the movie isn't meant to be taken seriously. However, if you have to explicitly tell people that your movie is a parody, maybe you're not doing it right. Or you're underestimating your audience (and thus insulting their intelligence).

Anyway, I thought it was somewhat amusing, and I dutifully recognized each of the pop culture references, but, really, it just wasn't all that funny. Something like Killer Klowns From Outer Space makes me laugh hysterically every time I watch it, but this.... not so much. Chalk it up to personal taste, I guess.

Again, I've been rather let down by Anthony Hickox, after really liking Waxwork and Waxwork II. I just don't think I've ever really liked anything else he's done since then.