Gummibärchen küßt man nicht

Upon doing research, this movie has NEVER had any release outside of Germany. That includes here in the United States, despite having a cast of mostly American actors (Christopher Mitchum, Ernest Borgnine, Art Metrano, Bentley Mitchum, among some others). I was lucky enough to receive one of the original screener tapes of the original, un-dubbed, English version of this movie, recorded back in 1989.

"Real Men Don't Eat Gummi Bears" is basically the type of comedy you would see on Disney Channel. All this movie is, is a whacked-out, kid friendly, but disoriented version of Shakespeare's "Comedy of Errors", in which it is about two twins that do not know about each other, and they finally clash.

Chris Mitchum hasn't had the best movie reputation in other reviews of his low-budget '80s action movies. Here, he does a pretty solid job as our two twins. One of them is a priest, and the other is a pimp from Africa. (Nice analogy) John Hillerman of MAGNUM, PI does a great job as one of the other priests at the Spanish Church Mitchum has migrated to. Real-life son Bentley Mitchum plays the pimps son in this movie, he does, actually, a pretty decent job.

Aside from "Comedy of Errors", the movie also has a Pink Panther-esque subplot involving Art Metrano (Police Academy) trying to track down top secret blueprints from the church, which ultimately leads to the Bishop of the church (played by Ernest Borgnine)

It is extremely low budget, and I'm sure is more common in and around Germany, however, here in America, I am not too sure about how the movie would get received. It has a quirky soundtrack, mainly consisting of one song performed by a band named "Edelweiss". Humor is pretty dry at moments, and I will say, my two favorite people in the film were Art Metrano & Art Metrano.

It's more oriented for kids, as I said, this is basically the type of comedy you would see on Disney Channel. It's not for everybody.

5/10