Assault of the Party Nerds

Assault of the Party Nerds is a fun movie. Yeah, it's full of "b" movie actors and the story in not to today's standards, but this movie isn't that bad. It's a cool movie that you can just sit back and watch. It's one of those movies you can watch and you don't have to think; just watch it. It has some funny parts and it's a shame more people don't like it.

The fraternity of Lambda Alpha Eta is in danger of becoming extinct, as the only 4 members are all graduating college at the end of the year. So naturally they plan a huge party while battling the gayest most annoying jocks ever put on mainstream celluloid. If I hear the phrase 'kick his ass' one more time, i'll go insane. This z-grade "Revenge of the Nerds" clone is sadly very low on laughs, and has one of the worst theme songs in recent memory but the more masochistic fans of '80's scream queens Quigley and Bauer should still check it out. And even then, do so very VERY hesitantly. Followed by a sequel that one would hope is better, because quite frankly you can't get much worse.

My Grade: D-

DVD Extras: Director's commentary; Bloopers; slide show (with nudity); Interviews with Linnea Quigley, Michelle Bauer, Richard Gabai, & one with all three; Music video; and theatrical trailer

Eye Candy: Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, and Tantala Ray all get topless

What can I say? This movie is pretty rotten on every level. The other people writing about this movie are either being sarcastic, delusional or more likely, involved in it's production. I realize it's tough to make a cheap movie and I commend this guy for giving it a try. I mean it has normal lighting and sound and it's shot on film. That's all I can say good about it. Apparently the filmmaker, who is actually not the worst actor in the world, did his own soundtrack. He shouldn't have. This one is obviously attempting to cash-in on the "Nerds" movies which is probably a good idea but even if you like "bad" movies like I do, this one has virtually no redeeming qualities, no laughs and not enough skin to carry it to the end. Sorry cast but come on! And no more self-promotional lying on the IMDb!

It's hard to know what to say about "Assault of the Party Nerds", so I'll just describe what I think was the plot:

Four nerds (actually more like two nerds, one cool guy, and one balding hippie) want to throw a party and invite some babes (Michelle Bauer, Linnea Quigley, and some other girl). There are some jocks who apparently make-up an equally underpopulated fraternity elsewhere who are probably the bad guys.

They have their party. Movie over.

There are topless scenes from Bauer and Quigley (of course), though the other blonde woman regrettably keeps her clothes on. Late in the movie there is the unexplained arrival of some broad who looks like a playboy bunny... from perhaps the year 1954. Yeah, she's a little past it, but she shows her boobs anyway.

The movie just felt like shots of the movie's three main groups sitting around, talking. First, the nerd house. Then the girls. Then the jocks (one jock is always depicted lifting weights, perhaps to hide the fact that his physique doesn't really fit the role).

Then there's the party.

I'm not sure what the title was supposed to indicate. It was obviously just a cash-in on "Revenge of the Nerds". There's no "assault" in this movie.

I do give it credit for one thing, though: there's a sex scene with one of the jocks and Linnea Quigley, with Linnea moaning and groaning and carrying on, just long enough for you to realise that she is supposed to be obviously faking, and then we see the jock, lying back, uninvolved. It felt like a sly wink to regular viewers of b-grade cinema who always find the sex scenes fake; like the filmmakers are saying, "they are, aren't they?"

I saw this film back in the nineties on USA Up All Night. I've been a huge fan of Richard Gabai and his movies for many years. Party Nerds is no exception. It's about a nerdy fraternity who decides to change their image by throwing "the greatest party in the history of school, if not the world". Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer have two of the funniest sex scenes I've ever seen.Richard plays a really cool guy in a house of misunderstood misfits.Marc Silverburg plays the most uptight guy ever and the ending is an homage to 80s sex comedies everywhere. This movie has everything. It has romance, sex, nerds striking back, the "getting ready to party" montage, great music from "the Checks" and a hot guy on a motorcycle. It's low budget and lots of fun. If you get the chance check out the DVD with the commentary because it's hilarious!